A Painful Anniversary 

J-Dub's Confessions

It was a Thursday evening.  Long day from hell.  Lots of anxiety.  The appointment.  These were always stressful.  We waited for an hour past the appointment time. She went back first.  They called me back after a bit. Asked me what I thought.  I answered.  Honestly.  My words cut like a knife.  

The pain.  The outrage.  

“How dare you?!”

“I hate you”.  

“I’ll never forgive you”.

“I’m never speaking to you again”

The doctor’s words.  Your mom is not hurting you.  Not saying it does not make it not so.  Silence = shame.  

Appointment ended without resolution.  Typical. The drive home was one of the worst I remember.  In the backseat, there is sobbing.  Wounded.  Sorrow. 

The next day is Good Friday.  I went to work.  I left the car so she wouldn’t be housebound. I didn’t want to come home and find her swinging from the ceiling.  I still have no idea why I worked that day. 

I walked to San Fernando at noon and watched them crucify Him. I felt the spirit.  It’d be ok.  I texted repeatedly but no answer.  It’d be ok.  I walked back to the office with peace in my soul. Ready to work on the issues at bay. Then the call came.  Everything changed. 

As always, more to come.