A Painful Anniversary 

J-Dub's Confessions

It was a Thursday evening.  Long day from hell.  Lots of anxiety.  The appointment.  These were always stressful.  We waited for an hour past the appointment time. She went back first.  They called me back after a bit. Asked me what I thought.  I answered.  Honestly.  My words cut like a knife.  

The pain.  The outrage.  

“How dare you?!”

“I hate you”.  

“I’ll never forgive you”.

“I’m never speaking to you again”

The doctor’s words.  Your mom is not hurting you.  Not saying it does not make it not so.  Silence = shame.  

Appointment ended without resolution.  Typical. The drive home was one of the worst I remember.  In the backseat, there is sobbing.  Wounded.  Sorrow. 

The next day is Good Friday.  I went to work.  I left the car so she wouldn’t be housebound. I didn’t want to come home and find her swinging from the ceiling.  I still have no idea why I worked that day. 

I walked to San Fernando at noon and watched them crucify Him. I felt the spirit.  It’d be ok.  I texted repeatedly but no answer.  It’d be ok.  I walked back to the office with peace in my soul. Ready to work on the issues at bay. Then the call came.  Everything changed. 

As always, more to come. 

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8 thoughts on “A Painful Anniversary 

  1. I hope, whatever it is, will be resolved and you will find the love and peace again – I think you are quite a remarkable woman. May I ask you something, you say you “walked to San Fernando at noon and watched them Crucify Him” , is there an enactment of “The Crucifixion” there on Good Friday, how I would love to have been there. Take care of yourself, please God all will turn out well for you.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes, They complete the passion play every Good Friday at San Fernando cathedral. The reenactment is quite moving. Thank you for your kind thoughts. A little over a year later and things are better; always a continued work in progress.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I have been down this road, but from a distance. Some things never fade away and it feels fresh for unknown reasons. We can’t control all we wish we could. Know you are never without a friend here…

    Liked by 2 people

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