I need to write it out … you know like shake it off
… but I’m having a hard time doing sH!t one handed.
B tells me I’ll get used to it … he did and he broke his right wrist and had a broken face to boot. But he’s stronger than me. I’m a marshmallow. A salty, shriveled up cream puff of a marshmallow 😦
Random thoughts to excise my demons:
- determined to find silver linings and stay healthy
- leads me to workout daily even though the team challenge is done and I broke my fucking arm
- no excuse as I can pedal the recumbent and go many more miles than treadmill or outdoor walking
- but I still feel sucky
- nobody likes me … everybody hates me
- not true … some people dislike me and dare I say hate me though hate is a very strong word
- I love too much too quickly and have feels for complete strangers
- everyone is my brother but that intensity is not for faint of heart so I’m going to dial it way-way back
- and disappear … that’s not me so we’ll see how long this lasts
- who needs people anyway … I’ve got B and that’s something … hell that’s everything but if I was him I’d make like a tree and leave
- My PCP didn’t call back until 5 pm Monday by which time I had made an appointment elsewhere for my arm
- The other office called me today to change doctors. No reason though they’ll still see me tomorrow. Should I care? I won’t libel the new doc but the ratings are vastly different. Same group … I guess I’ll be ok. I’m sure I don’t need a doc any way. I’m small potato, non-surgical and the tech will do my cast. THINK HAPPY THOUGHTS J-Dub. THINGS WILL TURN OUT.
- I didn’t mean to scream but one-handed typing is for the birds. Too hard to correct.
- I’m gonna be so screwed if it gets cold. Long sleeves and cast don’t mix.
- It hurts … a lot. Why do I pretend otherwise? Well, so the pain will magically go away. I’m wishing myself well. I should’ve asked for pain meds. Instead I power through.
- Scene from the Middle
- Brick: you keep the job Sue. I’ve been licking potatoes, only a matter of time before they find out and fire me.
- Sue: why Brick? why would you do that?
- Brick: at first it was the salt but then I convinced myself that licking the potatoes would keep our parents alive
- Is Brick crazy? like a fox. LOL! He is me! Very superstitious. Sing it Stevie!! of course my music is in the background. A good rant requires musical accompaniment. ALWAYS!
- Bright spot … walking to the library … taking gingerbread man pics. It made me happy and strangers were nice … asking me questions. Plus the librarian let me check out a book without my card. Why? cuz she knows me! SAPL is my Cheers!
And with that, this house is clean. and by house, I mean my brain which feels normal again albeit temporarily.