I’m back in the nest. Eating lunch away from my desk has become a novelty. Today there’s a group of coworkers. Just chatting over shared pizza. Me? I’m eating leftovers off to the side.
One guy is from Russia. Someone asked what dialect do you speak? He replied “Russian is just Russian” He sounds like my daddy. Man I’m learning stuff as an eavesdropper 😂.
Another’s wife is from Thailand. He’s going to retire and then they’ll move there. He’ll be an expat. She’s going home. They already have the house. Built by someone from the UK to European standards. Talk about your multiculturalism.
It’s hard y’all when the peanut gallery comments but it’s especially pitiful to hear rudeness from family. So much for “at least it’s the good kind of gray” Today my mother-in-law told Lulu:
Your mom has given up.
Is she depressed?
She is so smart and she’s pretty except for her hair.
If she’d only color it again, she’d look 15 years younger.
I’d even offer to pay for it.
Tell your mom she can’t let B’s decrease in income stop her from taking care of herself.
She’ll never get that job.
Eff that! Oh no she didn’t. But sadly she did. Why do women do that to each other? Tear down. Instead of lift up. Not all women, this particular piece of work.
First of all don’t ask my child if I’m depressed. Second of all money has little to do with it. Unless time is money. Then yes. Third acceptance has everything to do with it. I’m gladly accepting what the good lord gave me.
I’m tired of trying to live up to society’s expectations. I’m not depressed. I’m in the best head space of my life. Truly. That doesn’t mean I’m perpetually happy. There are days. Y’all know. I release the hounds and move on!!
Eff it!! Now I’m more determined to buck the system. Who gets to define beauty? I mean really.
Five years ago I chronicled B’s journey through his accident. I did not know about WP yet and I needed an outlet. FB was as good a place as any to release the hounds. Might be why they banned me later on. I’m too real y’all. Offensive they said. Pfft! As if! Oh c’mon Jilly, get over the ban already would ya.
Anywho, hard to believe looking back now that he made it through. In the thick of it, you just do. One foot in front of the other. These memories have been popping up since April 14 but this one from May 19, 2014 struck a cord.
So B’s bright red cast came off for a few minutes today to be replaced by what? Another bright red cast. Everything looks good but the radial break is not quite healed yet. Let’s face it he has old man bones.
He now has a prescription for heavy duty vitamin D. Once a week as more than that is no bueno. He is still not released to drive. And he cannot do anything weight bearing with his right arm until Monday June 23rd. That’s when he will return to get the cast off for good. Followed by at least a month of physical therapy.
Disappointed sure … but … and there is always a but … it could be worse. The ortho waiting room was filled with walkers, wheelchairs, and crutches. The guy next to us was visibly wincing. He had been dropped off and when asked he replied “yep I am alone again. The bus will come back for me”. For better or worse at least we have each other. This guy was alone. In a wheelchair. I’ll never complain about driving Mr. Daisy again.
Five years later, oh how soon we forget. Since then I am sure I have complained about Mr. Daisy. I forgot about that poor wheelchair bound man all alone in this world. I took things for granted. Re-reading my entry makes me pause and re-center myself. I am back on track. Hopefully this new better attitude lasts for a while.
I’m at work, sitting at my desk all alone in the dark because the timer for lights on the legacy floors 9/10/11 have been messed up since the last planned power outage. I must admit I kind of like the dark. The laptop screen is enough light for me. I’ll be bummed when the fluorescents blare into my eyes @ 8:30ish.
I like having this quiet space to myself. I just needed to write something quickly to center my mind. Wishing everyone a peaceful day and wonderful weekend. Cheers to #Free48. Come on 5 o’clock somewhere. 🙂
I park at the Tobin center while our work garage is under construction. Tonight the Tobin hosts a dance recital. People are already starting to arrive. There are some pretty fancy hats and other after five attire. There are flowers everywhere. I can feel the electricity in the air.
Then why oh why does this grumpy stage mom have to ruin everything. Poor girls. She’s already berating then. Dance should be fun.
I used to dream every night. For a brief time, I kept a journal on my bedside table where I’d write my dreams down for later analysis. If I didn’t write them down right away, my dreams had an ethereal quality and they’d float away from conscious memory.
I say I used to dream every nightbut maybe the answer is I still do. I just don’t have the same re-call as my younger self. One of the perks of growing older. When I write perk, I meant it!!!!
The first alarm sounds at 4 AM thanks to B …means he has work. The second alarm is not until 6:15. In those 2 hours and 15 minutes, I had a dream so vivid that even at 10:30 something, what happened has stayed with me. I won’t try and elaborate on the weirdness but I will say I might use this dream as a wake up call to make some quality of life changes.
Me to Lulu and Pony “we’ve hit the lottery with that one”
💕 our B
I’m reveling in after brunch peace. Counting our many blessings. Somebody pinch me I must be dreaming. And I’m still laughing but that’s what happens when you have discussions while breaking bread with the brain trust. Eff words flying from a most unlikely source.
Started with Hamilton yesterday.
Free valet parking at the Gunther. Another “room where it happened”. Meant to be.
I came home to a top to bottom clean house. Deep cleaned. They even dusted. 😆
Then today I slept in. Upon waking, Lulu and I took a walking photo tour. She’s home for the summer. We talked about how to spend our weekends together. We predict bigger more elaborate photography sessions in our future. She’ll snap the pics and I’ll write some lame poetry. I’m blocked so here’s a visual only peek:
Followed by the aforementioned brunch. Mushroom and spinach frittata with hash browns and biscuits. Ending with presents though they had already given me enough.
Every week for months as we walked by the pj section in Walmart, I commented to B that these “house dresses” would be my retirement wardrobe. Think of the money I’d save. And there’s the envious comfort over style anyways. Though if I do admit, hump day camels are pretty stylish. I’ve got no qualms about going outside like this … nope 👎 that picture stays in the phone.
Usually this day is too hard for me to take. For reasons I will not elaborate on right now. Or never! Yep never because spilling my guts changes nothing. This year is different for some reason. I’m taking back control of my emotions. I’m choosing gratitude and happiness.
They are adapting this book to film. And yes I’ll probably watch the movie when it comes out. Though the book is always better. It’s okay because I have read the book first.
Good pace and suspenseful. I found myself relating to the MC Anna Fox. I even thought Jilly don’t you go there. You’re not fictional. You’re not an agoraphobic alcoholic pill 💊 popping psychoanalyst either. Then goes my crazy mind … oh but you could be. How very easily YOU could be. 😳
Throughout the novel Anna watches … and among all the she observes, she watches classic movies. I have heard of many of the films named in the book yet most I have never seen. Time to fire up Turner Classic movies.
I won’t say more as not to spoil for those who have yet to read. I highly recommend if the suspense genre is your cuppa tea. Two thumbs up 👍🏼👍🏼. Five stars ✨ by me but only 3.94 stars ✨ on Goodreads.