I used to drop this stuff in a journal but since I’m not actively keeping a journal anymore, I’ve started tidbits on the blog. This is where I can get the intrusive thoughts out of my head. Let the world see how neurotic I truly am. Ha! Which you’ve known all along. Ain’t no big surprise.
Lulu started a new job today. That makes three places but four attempts. Ugh!
The first post college gig ended due to ISP woes. Then she got back in same place but quit before she restarted. There are very painful reasons she didn’t go back. Things that are not my story to tell. I’m still very grateful that Kyle gave her a second chance. I’m also glad she didn’t go back because the ISP woes returned. We could say the other bad stuff happened for a reason savings a repeat ISP debacle.
But now the ISP excuse is behind us. Even in Snowmageddon, we were fully functional. We also have our own concierge at Spectrum who promises no more trouble.
Gig two was in person as a mental health technician helping girls just like herself. I was very skeptical but helping people is good. Maybe doing so would give her a sense of self worth.
She made it through two days of orientation but actual day one on the job was the last. She shows up and no one even knew she was supposed to be there. They put her on the wing with the older girls. Apparently the worst unit if she is to be believed. She did shadow someone who couldn’t be bothered and sometime during the 12 hour shift, she was threatened with bodily arm. To quote “I’ll use your dead body for a step up and out the window”. Her person casually said “ah don’t worry, they just talk big”. Somehow she made it to the end of her shift but she never went back.
Puts us to gig three. Call center scheduler. She is in orientation as we speak. During lunch I’ve gotten a barrage of texts. It’s bad. She wants to cry. But she’s not stopping. It’s that last sentence I’m holding on to. “Mom I’m not stopping. I can’t quit again”.
Oh but she will. Quit again. Maybe not today or even tomorrow. But realistically this isn’t a forever job. Of course I said something similar 37 years ago.
Ugh! I’ve failed to help her become strong and independent. I want to cry too. But this is not about me! And just maybe this time she’ll figure it out. At least that’s what B thinks. And we all know he’s usually right.
Alrighty. Time to end my worry session. Once again releasing the hounds has helped. If this is meant to be it’ll be. Cue music.
Coming at you live from my iPad on my brand new porch swing.
Actually the swing is on an A-Frame in my backyard. I cried when it was delivered. Lulu asked me why are you bawling momma? Well because I’ve wanted this swing forever. To grow up and one day have my own home, with a swing like Mammaw’s, that’s just priceless.
B put it all together in record time. He had none of the problems noted in the reviews. No instructions? No problem. B don’t need no stinking instructions. Lol.
We’ve placed it under one of the oaks but with the earth’s movement, this spot will be full sun before long. We’ve spied an even better place under the pecan tree. I’m going to time how long until shade returns though since vitamin D in limited direct sunlight would be good for me. Let’s face it time outdoors period is good for me. Gets me out of my head. Just what the doctor ordered. ❤
I took the day off from work. First time in a few years. Back in the day though every Good Friday was a day off. Starting with my school days when we have vacation Good Friday and Easter Monday instead of a Spring Break that came later on when I was in high school.
30 years ago on this day, Pony and I would have gone with my parents to the Stations of the Cross at San Jose Mission. Easter has always been my favorite time of the year. Better than Christmas even imo.
Today Lulu Belle and I went to the SA Botanical Gardens. Despite Snowmageddon, they are back in business. All socially distances and hands free entry. But … masks are OPTIONAL! Sacrebleu people. What are you trying to do? But this was mainly outdoors and we stayed far apart. Something we did even pre Covid. And we WORE our masks!!! My nerves were only slightly tingly at the chance we might get too close for comfort to an un-masked un-vaccinated cowboy.
SABo had a fundraiser to adopt a plot of Texas wildflowers for $100. You’d get signage and everything for the whole time the exhibit is in bloom. I really appreciate the nature and considered a donation.
I asked Lulu “Should I do that?
Then before she could answer I said “people are going hungry. I’m not spending $100 on flowers”.
She said “Mom, you should be able to spend your money how you want without feeling guilty”
How’d she know I felt guilty? Well because I wear it on my face. I don’t know why but that’s always been the case. And face/case – poet who didn’t know it. lol. I slay me.
Any hoo, that’s all she wrote. Hope everyone is doing a-ok. Us? We’re living the dream.
Tomorrow is April Fools and the beginning of the 2021 #AtoZChallenge. This year I am doubling my fun with posts flying out to twitter as well. A challenge within a challenge. Yeah buddy. We’re cooking with gas.
I just half ass listened to a podcast about hell I don’t know. LOL!! I wanted to tell ya about it but I was so distracted with work that I didn’t truly listen. Here is the gist of it: Email and Slack are killing us. Okay not literally killing us but figuratively. We’re all miserable thank you Peter Drucker. Now I have gone off half cocked from half assed. I will listen for “real” next time. Then report back. Not like I have another hour ya know cuz I don’t. And with #AtoZChallenge I will be busy, busy, busy … for FUN!!!
They’re calling me to early supper so we can watch some King Kong vs Godzilla movie tonight. HBO Max! We may never go to a theater again 😦 Which might not be all that awful.
3/21/21: I deactivated my Facebook account. Temporarily. In 7 days, I will automatically be reactivated unless I decide to make things permanent.
Dear Facebook, it’s not you, it’s me. LOL
3/28/21: I was automatically logged back in / reactivated to my FB this morning. I’m going to grab my photos and a few other things before packing my bags to go.
Taking my own medicine, avoidance is the best risk mitigation strategy. I was getting so riled up to a point where I wasn’t sure what I might write back. Keyboard cowboy I believe they call it. Brazen by the lack of face to face dialogue. I’m still hurt. Not gonna lie but this is for the best.
Long time listener, first time caller. Here is the pingback.
Have you gotten vaccinated for COVID-19 yet? If not, are you planning to? If you have, or are planning to, how do you think your life will change afterwards? If you’re not planning to get vaccinated, why not?
All four of us got the vaccine due to pre-existing chronic conditions. All for various reasons we qualified as 1B. Getting scheduled was quite the ordeal. We called a toll free number for days on end. Finally on 1/31/21 we got through, 50 minutes on hold and about an hour later we had appointments for the very next day. Then on March 1st we got round two. This means as of 3/15/21 we are at the highest efficacy. I have no idea what that means. I am just a parrot. Moderna was our poison of chance. No I don’t think it is a poison but I jest all the time.
We really didn’t think about should we? We lept at the chance. B works outside the home and could be exposed easier than Pony and I working from home. Lulu who is still looking for work would potentially be expanding her options for employment. All of us saw this as following the science to a chance to end this plague. Our life is already changing with a sense of precaution. We may even eat inside a restaurant again. Dare I dream that we might go to the movies? Little everyday things.
Not everyone believes. I read a very well written article today that was opposite of our position speaking of the unknown long term consequences of the rushed vaccine. This made me think we jumped too soon but then another article floated to the top of the leader board saying this vaccine was not rushed. That it was at least 10 years in the making. The technology part I mean.
All boils down to choice. Grateful to have one. Pretty sure I’d do it again because I think I’m that unique that if I got COVID it’d kill me. Yep Jilly is 2% special. Doubt I’d be in the 98% to survive. And if I did survive, I’d likely be a long hauler. It’s so damn fickle who lives and who doesn’t. One death is one too many and if the vaccine can stop people from dying, I’m all for it.
I really liked the #SoCS topic today. I forgot to ping back but added that earlier then got back out so as not to break the rules. I still have anniversary brain and wanted to continue my commentary in a less stream way though truth be told my braining popping like popcorn in hot oil will still read similarly.
Despite the dark days of Rona, silver linings are everywhere. I saw that as I read through everyone’s posts. Still there is no ignoring the tragedy part of the pandemic. Said the girl whose family was spared. And perhaps since we fared well, I’ve got no room to talk yet I feel compelled.
Hint: “methinks thou dost protest too much”. While grateful for every single blessing, nothing is perfect. I kept mum about certain things in my dialed back let’s be less whiny on the blog shall we turned over new leaf. I don’t want to be that tired old broken record who people stop talking to because she’s hard to be around.
On October 30, 2006, our family was a victim to a random act of violence. Until 2020, I thought that was the worst thing that could happen to us. Not even close. In fact, worse things happened before 2006, I just forgot. You see by giving time, time, the memories softened. And worse has happened since Rona reared its ugly head. Things not related to Covid which gets all the blame anyway. As it should you bastard!! In self preservation mode, we’re all shell shocked. Even when those worldly events only indirectly (or even not at all) impact us.
I’m all Grey’s Anatomy, New Amsterdam, the Good Doctor, or any other made for TV medical show as I picture a patient in bed with heart monitoring thingy whatever it is called going beep, beep, beep. That’s life … one BIG heartbeat. Barely time to breathe before the next beat. As long as we don’t flatline, we’ll be a-okay. Until then, we roll with the punches. I’m actually looking forward to what’s next. Builds character. Just what Jilly needs, more character 🙂
April is just around the corner. That means the AtoZ Challenge is about to begin. Yeah Buddy! We’re cooking with gas. This will be year four for me.
In 2018, I winged it. In 2019, I used bands. In 2020, I winged it again. I’m actually still surprised I made it through 2020. I think this challenge might have been a way to cope. Of course that’s what writing is for me year round.
I’ve sat here for a bit now trying my best to create a theme. I’m still unsure. I think I’ll just wing it again. Hodgepodge. What’s most important is participating.
Without further ado, here are the deets aka details for the fun and frolic. Hope you join us. Let the games begin.
Jealous is one of the most misused words in the English language today, mistakenly used in place of the word envy. To be jealous is to guard your treasure—whether it is literal treasure or a woman you love.
From the novel “Drowning With Others” by Linda Keir
I’ve been praying a lot lately. Seems like I found my way back home after a momentary lapse. Today I stumbled across a memory from FB. Here is what I wrote six years ago ‘on this day’. Two pics from my days in grade school at St. Margaret Mary’s… I have met a lot of special people in my life, but I think the folks I went to grade school with were, and still are some of the best…