Protagonist Syndrome


Protagonist Syndrome – Check out the link.

No really, check it out … I’ll wait.

What’d you think?  The struggle is real y’all.

I am going to start bringing a recorder to our family dinners. Not to brag BUT and it’s a BIG BUT my Pony Boy is a genius. I used to refer to him as an evil genius and Lulu as naive but ever so SWEET. Shame, shame on me. Don’t label my kid! And that’s what I did. Darn those preconceived notions. Smashed later in life as those curves balls were hurled at my head BUT and it’s a BIG BUT, that’s a novella for another day.

Pony is not a traditional genius; he is just exceptionally smart about the philosophy of things. I believe he missed his calling.  I could see him giving lectures to college students, commanding the lectern.  Audience in awe.  Groupies of all persuasions hitting on the Prof. I must have Protagonist Syndrome by Proxy.  Get it?  I knew that you would. And, go ahead,  boo me. Not my best work, joke might even be a little bit tasteless.  BUT and it’s a BIG BUT or Anyhoo, …

In another life, Pony really must have been Rasputin-esque. Then there is Wise who is well … wise. Along with Lulu and the doctor who are atypical teenagers. Atypical is GOODNESS. Unless it’s a mole, then not so much. Again, with the bad jokes, J-dub just stop. You. Must. Get. A. Grip.

Our conversations are never dull, always humorous and informative.  The enlightenment from our conversations is category worthy. Though if I start this category; already named “Family Dinners” I am superstitious that the conversations will dry up. Much like when I added “Things I’ve Overheard”. Since adding that section, I have not overheard hardly anything juicy enough to post. I mean until then the fodder was daily. Then bam, de-nada.

From our Friday night egg roll bonanza where all four under 30’s school me and the old man on Brexit to celebratory dinners discussing a myriad of topics, one is sure to be entertained.

Enough back story J-Dub, get with the program.

Protagonist syndrome was the topic of conversation at the Yard house last night. Excerpt follows:

Me: Give me an example  … of a protagonist.
Pony: Donald Trump
Me: Oh lord
Pony: Any world leader really and celebrities … not just any celebrity though, the icons only

Do you have protagonist syndrome? Many people do. No one wants to be the understudy, the supporting cast, or the help. Instead I am the SUN and the SUN is me. C’mon you know people like this … BUT and it’s BIG BUT do you recognize if YOU are people like this? Probably not as denial is a symptom of the condition. According to Pony, we have very few protagonists in the world. “We are merely players, performers and portrayer, each another’s audience outside the gilded cage ~ Rush Limelight Lyrics”

Feel free to discuss among yourselves.

As always, more to come.

Pony Boy – Beginning of an Era


Pony Boy – End Beginning of an Era

Yep! my positive self talk is working.  I’ve been practicing very hard to kick those nefarious thoughts to the curb.  Yes, I said nefarious.  Strongest non-curse word I could come up with on the fly.  As positive cloud shaped thoughts entered my mind, that’s when I changed END to BEGINNING.  He is beginning his 29th year OR is he beginning his 30th year, having lived 29 years already?!?!?  You see I have been teasing about him turning 30 for like the last FIVE years.  Funny math follows me everywhere I go.  Anyhoo, so as to avoid a rabbit hole discussion about time and the theory of relativity, I am moving right along.

Now whole new group of folks can read my story about the day my oldest was born.  If I am anything, I am predictable.  Every year, I write my novella as I stroll down memory lane.  I cry a little too but always HAPPY tears.

Though this year is quite different considering the hospital he was born at has been torn down.  Southeast Baptist Hospital on Southcross Blvd., San Antonio TX 78222 is no longer there as of last week.  Talk about your end of an era.  Sad but true.  Inner city ghosts who vanished except for memories.  Okay, think about how many people died there … at the hospital … if walls could talk … and think about rebuilding over that land. Poltergeist – Indian burial ground anybody?!?? And now I am all M. Night Shyamalan-ing myself.  I see dead people.  My Oh My, how did I take this turn??!   

I am sad to see the hospital go and I am sad that things have to change.  But that is not what this novella is about.  Today we celebrate.  You see exactly 29 years ago at this time, I was at work handling a billing complaint.  And I hung up on my customer.  Huge overreaction, I know that in hindsight.  I had been in labor for a while without really realizing it.  I am one of the lucky ones.  Labor was not so bad.  Definitely not like what they show in the movies.

Anyhoo, the rest is being pulled over from FB with  minor editing to names to protect the guilty :). And inserted real time feedback.

<insert age of Pony> years ago today, I worked the late shift until 6 PM … got home about 6:45 and I was pissed that the crib was still in pieces in the middle of the living room … I announced I was hungry and that I was going to Lung Fung for dinner … Billy and his friend Freeway came with me … I had contractions throughout the entire meal but kept it to myself … got back home after supper and finally said something about contractions … told Freeway to leave unless he wanted to witness a live birth.

Billy and I did all the Lamaze things … the breathing … and we walked a lot around the house room to room but stayed at home because the birthing instructor told us to … finally we drive to Southeast Baptist hospital @ 12:45 AM the morning of 6/28/88 … I told the lady at the admitting desk that it was probably false labor and I’d be going home … she mouthed to Billy (I don’t think so). Lil Pony Boy entered for world at 2:50 AM. To this day he is a night owl. <That has changed as he is all responsible these days working at a bank of all places … Sr. Auditor on the call quality team>.  We LOVE you son shine, light of my life! Happy 25th B-Day!!

Two years later I added the follow to FB:

Someone recently told me that they had no idea I have a son because I only talk about Lulu. Shame, shame on me. I DO have a son! He is the light of my life, my son-shine who I affectionately refer to as ‘Pony’. He’s my twin, a rebel, my sarcastic #1 first born son. Happy birthday !!! Okay, now everyone can congratulate me (he he).

We are celebrating today instead of the day of as he is BUSY tomorrow.  Well that’s okay, I am BUSY tomorrow too.  Lol!  Nope not really, I got nuthing.

As always, more to come!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Gearing Up For The Protest


Active links ahead.   

“That’s all I can stands, I can’t stands no more” ala Popeye 

“I’m mad as hell and I’m not gonna take it anymore”  from Network

“Don’t fuck with me fellows, this ain’t my first time” by Mommy Dearest Crawford

Well actually … now that I think about it … this is my first time.   On Thursday, July 6 at 10 AM CST in the year of our Lord 2017,  I – (raise your right hand),  J-Dub will be protesting our property tax valuation.  

I tried to do this the nice way. I put in my online paperwork.  I thought I had a pretty good case. But no. 

I bet they bank on people not showing up. Well guess what motherfuckers.  Me and Bruce –  Yippee ki ya.  You’d better bet I will be there.  Hehe.  

I’ve no idea what I’m doing and Billy says he’s out if it.  If I’m anything, I’m stubborn.  Comparables?  We ain’t got no stinking comparables.  We’re in no man’s land. 

It’s a rattle snake 🐍 round up over here.  Two dogs three bites.  And we’ve only got DSL Internet.  I hear tell internet is now classified as a utility.  Basically makes us without essential utilities.  No Netflix alone should drop the value by 50k.  😂

Okay I’ve lost it.  Pony warned me not to make things seem too bad.  Maybe they’ll condemn the place and force us out by imminent domain.  Now I know that’s no laughing matter. In all seriousness, I just want this to be fair.  

Ah whatever.  Bite me tax assessors’ office.  Wish me luck bloglandia.  

As always more to come.  


Because We All Need A Little Levity

I miss my mommy.  So the feature photo is a mommy picture.  

I have an email problem because I over subscribe but dayum all the bloggers I follow are just that good.  

Email problem part dos: emails I thought 💭 I deleted would miraculously reappear in my inbox.  So Lulu showed me how to delete all in my trash folder.  Who knew?  Not I! Problems solved. 

Well not all problems as I’m a walking travesty.  Not really.  Table for Jill. Pity party for one.  

Email problem part tres.  Well not really email more WordPress (WP). As I go through emails prior to deleting, I’m commenting my ass off on WP. Gotta give a little to get a little. 

Well anyway I’m being moderated!  All but one comment is awaiting moderation. Doh! And now my anxiety is full board.  No Sally Field you really like me speech.  I’m sure I’ll be blocked.  Not really. Table for Jill. Pity party for one.  

I used to watch the hell out of Party of Five. The Fox and the Wolf.  And whatever happened to Neve Campbell?  Scream 😱

I overuse the words well and so and very.  Need new words for my writing.  

I’ll close with this Billy got rained out! Yay it rained.  He finished mowing and trimming right before thunder struck.  ☔️ Now he’s rewatching the Hunger Games.  He says it’s this generation’s Running Man.  🏃 Me? I think it’s closer to Logan’s Run. 🏃 

As always more to come.  

Funny Math

Because We All Need A Little Levity

Quick dinner that won’t break the bank

Combo is $9.24

Plate $7.75 plus refill at 50 cents = $8.25

99 cents saved 

Plate with three sides = $7.75

Plate with two sides = $6.50

Difference = $1.25 

Side a la carte = $1.95

I only want two sides but I’m giving one away

70 cents saved

All before taxes. 

My gawd.  Saved $1.69.  Was it worth it?  You betcha!  $1.69 times all my other nickels and dimes.  We’ll be able to get that dream secondary home in no time 😂

As always more to come. 

Cheap or frugal? 

Because We All Need A Little Levity

Definitely not cheap.  Cheap is an ugly word.  I’m no floozy.  I’m a hussy!   And I’m off the rails.  And I come by it with drugs. Ahem, I mean naturally.  Influenced by reading Joan was one tough cookie.  But I digress.  Book review to follow separately.

Cheap people wouldn’t splurge $12 for six macaroons. Now would they?


Even the package is pretty.

Give up? The correct answer is frugal.  Synonym of cheap?  Well not exactly.  Close sure but frugal is economical while cheap is inexpensive.

I’ve posted about my frugality many times before.  Here, here and here.  Check out all four links if/when you have the time.  Shameless plug for prior blog posts.

I’ve always wondered what is the root cause of my behavior.  Maybe my wonderful role model parents who lived through the Depression in a “waste not want not” era influenced me more than I realize? Or maybe having to replace most of my worldly possessions after the most unfortunate event made me hate shopping?

Whatever the cause, I wear my shoes until they literally fall apart.  Yep! literally!  lol.  See me today at the Pearl.


Don’t stop me now! We’re having a good time. Yes that’s my heel in my hand.


The sidewalk where it happened


Lulu and I were meeting my sweet friend and her son for lunch.  On the way from the car, we’re just strolling down the sidewalk and my heel pops off.  I didn’t fall thank goodness.

Lulu says “Mom, don’t pick that up, it is someone’s shoe”  

Me: “ya, mine!”

Lulu “what? seriously?”

When my friend sees me: “You were serious?  Oh my”. 

Me: “I guess I’ve got to find some shoes?”

We go into a shop and one quick look around.  Uh, no!  I am not paying $195 for sandals.  I’ll just limp around thank you very much.

Then Lulu says “see if the other heel will come off?  At least then you’ll be even”

Me: “that won’t work” as I try anyway.  Pop … goes the weasel … and my other heel slides right off!

La Gloria here we come!  And with the pop and drop heels; there came the pouring rain.  On the patio with mister for cooling, the temps dropped from 88 degrees to 71 degrees in minutes.

Meanwhile, I’m still twitching from throwing away the heels/wedge pieces.


Who the hell would save this?

I just need a little super glue! Did I tell ya I was frugal?

I’m keeping the remnants.  A just like “new” pair of garden shoes.  Oh who am I kidding?  These are my new favorite chanklas. Best $9.99 I ever spent at Payless Shoe store. 😂

As always more to come. 



#SoCS – The Rain In Spain Stays Mainly In The Plain


Why is this all I got?  The rain in Spain stays mainly in the plain.  First thought that popped into my brain on this wonderful, not rainy as the weatherman predicted, Saturday morning.  Too bad Hurricane Cindy did not bring the rain we so desperately need.

Every week I look  forward to Linda’s #SoCS prompts.  Check out the link for all the deets as in details aka THE RULES :).

Maybe I am channeling my inner Audrey?  Who knows?  I do not care for My Fair Lady.  I love adaptations and everything Broadway.  Few exceptions.  My Fair Lady happens to be one.

There is more to being respectable than the way one speaks.  Add the way one dresses or even acts for that matter.  I’m drawn to the odd balls, the misfits, the cutters (1979 movie Breaking Away – Jackie Earle Hayley, you charismatic Kelly Leak devil you).   Boo, hiss if you will, all you lovers of Pygmalion.  I can take it.

So let’s get back to rain, reign, rein.  Is that like buy, by, bye or there, their, they’re? You betcha!  YAY Homophones!  Here are some more:

  • doe, doh, dough – deer, Homer, pizza 🙂
  • cite, sight, site
  • holey, holy, wholly
  • peak, peek, peke, pique
  • vain, vane, vein
  • ware, wear, where

Grammar police of the world unite in our common disdain for misuse of words.  Of course in poetic stream of consciousness, all bets are off.  If I were to search back through my work, I’d find all sorts of artistic license. Any hoo (see I did it right here, get it?). Hehe, I slay me.

Now let’s play a game; shall we?  In my pathetic attempt to enter into engaging conversation with my readership (of which there are two brave souls who might play along), comment with the homophones of your choice.  Bonus score for using said homophones in a sentence correctly.  C’mon on in, the water’s fine.  You know you want to!

As always, more to come.

No More Secrets

J-Dub's Confessions

I feel a novella coming on … well maybe not.  I hear tell 500 words or less is the average attention span.  I will try and keep to that.  Let the games begin!

Good morning world; what a glorious day!  Saturday June 23rd, 2017 in the year of our Lord.

I’ve been thinking about stuff … lots of stuff.

Everyone knows that mi familia has been through some stuff.

To compensate, I remind myself with daily affirmations that our stuff is not bad … in the big scheme of things.  Our stuff is minor in comparison what others are going through as I rattle off atrocities hitting the headline news.  But … and it’s a BIG but … we can’t keep diminishing our feelings and sweeping things under the rug.

Stuff should NOT be bottled up and locked tightly away.

Heaven forbid we share our stuff because no one … and I mean no one REALLY (as opposed to falsely) wants to know about THAT!

Well a Pandora’s Box of stuff is about to fling open!

In fact, I could even make a new category!!!  Oh how I love new categories.  Bringing me such Glee or if my creativity doesn’t spark, these love notes will definitely be categorized as J-Dub’s Confessions.

More matter the category, the following is an example of the stigma one must overcome when sharing our stuff.

Friend across the aisle “I think it is terrible what was written about that poor woman, don’t you?”

Me: “My brother was an alcoholic; I wished I had said something back in the day.  Too late for him, but maybe the daughter’s words will save someone else.”

Friend across the aisle “well yes, talk about it but … you know, keep the discussion in the family”

Me: “Secrets and shame are harmful.  To me, WHY THE HELL NOT?!!!! ”

Far too many people would rather be ostriches burying their heads in the sand.  Who knows why? Maybe they think “if I don’t talk about it, it will go away” or … motives are countless.  The short of it is this, I have lost friends who could not deal with me talking about my stuff.  I am older now and I couldn’t care less what anyone thinks of me but for the next generation or anyone not in the same head space being denied an outlet is devastating. Speak people … SHOUT from the rooftops if you have to.  We are here; we will listen.  You are not alone.

As always, more to come.

On This Day June 22, 2014

Aftermath of the 2014 Fall

The following was posted on Facebook three years ago to the day.  A mundane event in the aftermath of the fall.  He would do anything for her.  No denying a father’s 💝. If only it was still that easy for her to be happy. 

Billy needed a hair cut, first time since the accident and he was looking very wooly. He doesn’t have a regular stylist like Lulu and I but he does go to the same place – Sports Clips in Citybase about 4 or 5 x’s a year. They know him and consider him a ‘regular’

Lulu and I tried to talk him into getting the MVP treatment … the hair cut with hot towel, massage, etc… 

Us “come on, you deserve it, the massage is the best … soooo relaxing”

Billy”grumble, grumble, words we could not understand”

Lulu “at least get your eye brows done” as she says to him once a week for the last however many years!

Billy “more unintelligible words”

We got there right when the place opened, he was the second one back. When he was done we were so surprised … the stylist asked if he wanted to do something about those long eye brows and he said “yea go ahead … that’d make my daughter happy”

And happy she is … it’s the little things that make you smile 🙂

Have a great Sunday one and all … it is going to be a glorious day!!