Egads!!!!! ~ 9/16/21

Dang, this is going to be a dervish. I went to physical therapy (PT) today. I’ve had pain for a while and blogged about it ad nauseum. Ad nauseum is another word I am over using much like my lil gecko from Geico flat tire commercial, Ugh! Make it stop!!!

Okay. Stop!

I went back to PT after undergoing a second series or battery (like in battering ram) of tests all showing negative. Muscular skeletal she said. PT will help. And from expereince it sure did. Gabe, I need you Gabe! But that was then and this is now.

I was nervous about being in a people-ly place. But I was also relieved by the protocol per their website. I felt good about the masks required and curtains between patients. I did everything online too because they want everything as contactless as possible.

The first thing that gave me pause was the location … in a strip mall. Yep I am the queen comma drama. Diva! My other place was part of a group medical office buildings. Not a neighbor to freaking Jimmy Johns. The receptionist was very nice but informs me they are not in network and my co pay is $25. Not $95 since I met my deductible. Hmmm. Why am I here? In-Network would be free. Plus when given a choice, even if I have to drive across town, I always choose in network. Do I want to pay now? Why the hell not!!

I was seen 15 minutes after my appointment which isn’t bad except my other place was a well oiled machine. And the only reason I was taken back 15 minutes late was so the guy (not my Gabe) could enter the notes from the patient who left right before me. Do the damn notes on your own time!

The assessment was right out in the open, they don’t use no stinkin curtains. The rat bastard liars. My old place took me into a private room. And while the guy (not my Gabe) wore a mask and wore it the right way, he was sniffling and coughing like crazy. Uh yea, I’m positive he gave me the Rona.

At least my mind is preparing me for that. I’m not making light. It’s anxiety! I even told B if I get sick to sue the place which you can’t but damn. I kept telling myself, he only has allergies, it has to be allergies, surely he would not ignore their own directions about staying away if you feel sick?!? It’s allergies became like a hum in my brain … my mantra. Forgive those who trespass against us …

I got a little bit of manipulation and three at home exercises, then I was almost done. As I was laying and/or lying there at the end, with heat (when I told them I prefer ice dammit), the patient next to me, a sweet Army vet easily in his 70s was moaning. He told the guy I had to force myself to come here today. He went on it hurts by my incision. But do what you gotta do. I’m not shy about telling ya to stop. During the process, I heard Christ this hurts!! I can’t take it, hold on! Broke my heart.

Twice a week for three weeks was recommended. But I skipped scheduling any follow-ups. Took the business card and said I would call. I won’t. Getting into my car was excruciating. That little manipulation caused new pain in different places. Lulu says maybe it is supposed to be that way. Worse before it gets better?? Guess I’ll never find out.

Back on the highway, lead footing it home, I detoured to QT for a DP icee. Don’t cha know. If I’m gonna lose my taste soon, I wanted one last hurrah. LOL. Funny? Or not funny? Kinda, sorta, maybe? Those mo-fo’s.

As always, more to come.

Where Were You? ~ 9/15/21

I’m sticking with a theme of late. Where were you in ’42? or ’62? That’s a movie I think?? Where the Boys Are. Now that for sure is a movie. I was reminded of it last week. I enjoyed watching the rerun on TV years after the big screen debut. And of course I read the book. You always have to read the book doncha know. Alrighty, moving on …

Where were you 37 years ago on this day? Around 3:00 pm, B and I were at St. MM Catholic Church getting hitched. Seems like yesterday and forever ago in an instant. Yep we’ve been happily betrothed for almost 2/3rds of our lives. If I did the math right. I’m likely over estimating but very close since we’re closer to 60 than 50. Doh! Oh the humanity!! said in my Gecko from the GEICO commercial voiceover voice. ha! I’ve got a flat tire. Oh no I don’t.

My mood is giddy. Tonight we’ll celebrate with some great steaks since food is meant to be shared, another nugget from last week. If not for the middle of the week and the delta, we might be partaking inside a restaurant. Pappadeaux of course. Which we’ve been to during the pandemic after being fully vaccinated and pre delta. The experience was lackluster, not worth the extra effort in my opinion, though I hear tell the standards are becoming more lax. Doesn’t make sense to me but oh well. Steaks at home are a wonderful substitute.

Some say marriage is hard work. We haven’t found that to be the case. Now don’t get me wrong, being married as long as we have isn’t easy but work? Not so much. I had a boss who used to say, if you love what you do, you’ll never work another day in your life. See the similarities? If you think of marriage as a job that is … How absolutely unromantic. That’s okay, romance can be overrated.

Anyhoo, for better or worse, through thick and thin, ’til death do us part. Cheers to 37 years with many more to come God willing and the creek don’t rise.

As always, more to come.

Bluer than blue ~ 9/11/21

9/11/21 is one of those clear September days where the sky is bluer than blue. Much like the day 20 years ago before everything turned upside down. Lulu and I opted to make today a day of self care. No plans, no rushing around, rolling with the flow. Facials tonight. Pony and B are at the place working to finish off the facilities. This hunting season we’ll have a bathroom. Yipee!!

I decided to fill up my car since last night when we went to get take out, we were running on fumes. We have grocery run Sunday which meant getting gas today would simply be easier. No need to leave any earlier than we already do. Plus in the spirit of self-care, I wanted a Dr. Pepper icee to which I am sadly addicted. Or not sadly. A vice that only hurts me if I over indulge but I don’t. Except when I do which is once or twice a month.

Did I mention the skies are bluer than blue? I love the feeling of the sun on my skin after leaving the cool house for the warm car. Sometimes the inside of the car is too hot but today, not so much, just bright and warm. I looked at the miles, 104,528. I thought hmmm, 4,528 miles in a year is nothing. Then I did the math. I hit 100K miles in October of 2019, not 2020. That means 4,528 miles in 23 months, almost two years!

I back out, then drive ahead down our s shaped road stopping at the mailbox. But no mail today. Might be a postal day off? Or should be but also maybe we just didn’t get anything. I pass the land for sale to my right and the house going up on my left. Finally I’m out on the highway. Driving west down Hwy 87 is always a treat. Again I notice that the skies are remarkable. I feel peace.

Gas prices came down since Labor Day, I pass Valero at $2.59 and when I see QT at $2.61, I briefly think I should turn around. But I want my DP Icee dammit. lol.

Serendipity, very few cars. I pull right in and start fueling. Or try to. Something was weird with the handle and I almost moved to another pump. But I clicked the little thingy and wa-la, it worked.

While the gas is going in, I get the window wiper and start at the front windshield. I hear the honking but think nothing of it. As I go around the car, I look over and there’s a guy parked by the side of the store, in his truck, pulling a trailer with a boat. He’s gesturing at me. I’m not done with the windows but I put the wand back into the water. The gas finally topped off and I hook the hose back up. Before I could get into my car, he pulls over right next to me, cracks his window and yells “hurry the fuck up old lady”

The guy on the other side of me filling his car says “that’s sure uncalled for” While I said “yea I didn’t know there was a time limit”.

Now I’ve got a decision to make. Go in or go home. I still haven’t got my DP Icee. I watched to see where he went to help me decide. I thought he was going to circle around to my spot but instead the other end was open and he stopped there. Whew!

Inside the store, two of the fucks with him were getting their snacks. I went right for my prize and got in line behind them. Both hastily stepped aside, “after you, seriously after you”. I paused thinking I didn’t want to get hit from behind for taking too long to check out but I went anyway. Maybe they are not like their friend I thought. Though “birds of a feather” ya know.

Their boat had what I’ll call a unique identifier on it. A Trump 2024 flag. Now I don’t want to make this political because it isn’t. And I can’t judge the whole group but one bad actor. Or can I? Hmmm What would you do?

I’ve been telling Lulu this a lot lately. Forgiveness is for YOU not the other person. I’m not going to stoop. This person regardless of his political affliction (oops I mean affiliation, Freudian slip) is a sad little man. Bless his heart! He’s not bringing me down. Especially on my daddy’s heavenly birthday.

I did it again, I got the bad feelings out with words. Whew! Now that’s the stuff. Glad B isn’t here. He’d probably go try to find him. Kick his ass. lol. Defending my honor. I mean what the hell? Minding my own effin’ bidness. The worst part of all of this y’all is that I now have to truly accept the fact the I AM indeed an old lady.

As always, more to come.

Never Forget ~ 9/11/21

The below is a copy of what I wrote in 2014, seven years ago. FB memories are good for something. I stayed pretty close in today’s #SoCS.

B was at work, Lulu was at Salem Sayers Mother’s Day Out, and Pony was in school. I was working nights in regional services but had the day off.

P and I were planning dad’s annual birthday dinner at either Pesos Cafe or Snoga’s with cake and ice cream at the house after. We stayed on the phone (not saying much) just on the phone as we watched the TV simultaneously, in two different cities.

One crash, then two, then they are saying the crash was on purpose. People jumping from buildings as a choice to burning to death. All of it was un-freaking-believable. One of those moments that we’d look back on and remember where we were and what we were doing on that infamous day.

My dad would be 98 years old today if he were still alive. He liked to celebrate and lived a good life. He taught us well and we live by his example. These two candids from his party on the Saturday four days after September, 11 2001 are all that I can find. I am grateful I have them. I am grateful we didn’t cancel. I am grateful that we will NEVER forget.

Now for my thoughts on this 20th anniversary. I’m still grateful but for completely different reasons. I’m also overwhelmed. Life is a cluster for all the things. You know them well. Sadly, in many instances, I think the collective ‘we’ forgot. The divide in this country is the size of the Grand Canyon. My heart hurts, I can’t watch the news. Still through social media “news” bleeds through. Distorted and twisted. Not sure what to believe. Yet as bad as things get, we’re spared the brunt of it. My family is blessed. I’ve no idea why. I feel guilty. Then I try not to dwell on it. Maybe some things are best left unknown.

As always, more to come.

day trip notes ~ 9/6/21

Howdy fine folks of bloglandia!! Much goodness!! I’m telling ya what. My ears still hurt from the elevation in the hill country. On Saturday, 9/4/21, B and I took a lovely drive up to our place in Rocksprings. At one point, we were 2150 feet above sea level. To compare, our place in town is around 600 feet above sea level. In my youth, when we went to the hill country, which was often, countless camping trips to Lago Vista on Lake Travis, dad would give us gum to chew so we could pop our ears. I forgot about that which means now I’m paying for it. At least I didn’t get sunburned.

B and I enjoyed much needed alone time. This pandemic has us living in a fishbowl of sorts that one doesn’t even realize. We had a lovely date day when you’re too old or tired for date night. Little did we know the city was hosting the annual VFD Fish Fry and goat rodeo. Haha! Yep, you read that right. Goat rodeo. Yee Haw!!

We didn’t stay in town though. Instead we did lots of hiking and talking. Back to basics I would say. And we labored at our place this labor day weekend. I did some landscaping near the cabin and I raked rocks. Uh ya I did. Clearing a path between the cabin and the facilities. Save us from rolling an ankle on the rocks. I even got two blisters on my thumbs from the rake but it’s a good pain. Like the earache. Which will be over soon enough.

B had to patch some pinhole leaks in the water line. Ironic since the #SoCS prompt was pin. The cistern might also have a leak but I told B that was good, it won’t explode while we’re away. Instead the well water will slowly seep. But I know nothing of these things, I just make stuff up. LOL.

That’s how ya do it. Nothing fancy, free fun. Time together. Picnic lunch. 332 miles of mandatory Metallica. Waiting for the Black list to drop. Priceless.

Before Saturday, the world was getting me down. Hope not any of you too but if you’re also feeling bluesy, I get it. Life is heavy. Pandemic, hurricanes, flooding, ending a war, women’s rights, and more. This trip was just what we needed. I’ll carry the memory for a bit and refer back often or as needed.

As always, more to come.

As always, more to come.

Share Your World ~ 8/3/21

Melanie gives us some thought provoking questions and I stream right through them, all in the here and now. Ha!


  • If you could be anywhere else right now, where would it be? Hmm, Ms. Eeyore Jilly thinks “anywhere but here” Then I pause. I like that question because as luck would have it, I’m on vacation this week. My time off was a “before you do something stupid necessity”. I’m staying around the house because I didn’t plan far enough in advance to go somewhere plus with B now being self employed, taking off with me isn’t as easy. Also with the delta variant running wild, I’m fine staying put. I’m pleased with a staycation since I’m getting all sorts of stuff accomplished. Still no final agreement on the roof but bids are rolling in and the variance between companies is wide. I really don’t want to be screwed over.
  • What Wastes The Most Time In Your Day To Day Life? Indecision, <blank> or get off the pot. I’m telling ya what. “This indecision’s buggin’ me (esta indecisión me molesta)”
  • How would you describe your greatest enemy?  If you don’t have one, share your secret!  I have no enemies, not really. Or none that I know of … No trick to share either. I’m older, wiser, and have more insurance … Bonus points if you guess what book/movie that line is from. Seriously, I stay in my lane. You do you and all that jazz. I don’t have time for an enemy. Plus I’m a big a scaredy cat.
  • If you were a bird, what kind of bird would you be? A peacock of course. In 2010 or 2011, I was in charge of a unit that had one of the first third party contracts. Sridevi took a beautiful picture of a peacock and had it turned into postcards. We all got one that year. Very special because she took the photo herself but also due to the symbolism. The national bird of India. How cool is that?!??!

GRATITUDE SECTION (As Always, Optional)

I’m grateful for the laughter in my life. Things are good y’all even when they aren’t. Ahhh now that’s the stuff.

As always. more to come.

Tidbits ~ 8/2/21

Channeling my inner Karen … Carpenter that is … I have an earworm … Rainy Days and Mondays always get me down …

And on this Monday without work I should be in a better mood. Lately the rain creates an anxiety in me that is unprecedented. I remember as a kid, staring out the big picture window from the living and loving the rain. Mom made sure we were not afraid of thunder and lightning. Proper respect but nothing to fear. Watching a thunderstorm, lights off in the house, was thrilling.

If it a was just rain, during the day, on a day off much like today, we’d make our way onto the front porch. Eventually dashing on and off the porch to dance in the rain. Mom would bring us towels heated up in the dryer. With such fond memories, I’ve no idea why all of a sudden rain causes almost a panic in me. The fear of internet outage maybe? Since all that happened with LuLu during her first job? Three people depending on a good solid connection that we take for granted. Maybe that’s it?

Anyway, the book store is calling my name. Loudly. See ya on the flip side. 10/4 good buddy.

As always, more to come.

Off Cycle Book Club & Plumbers Pants Combo ~ 7/11/21

I went to the library yesterday and scored two replacement books: Bunny by Mona Awad and The Wonder Boy of Whistle Stop by Fannie Flagg. I started with Bunny mainly because the book blurb on the dust jacket said the story made a reviewer cackle while nodding in terrifying agreement. Sounded to be right up my alley. But and it’s a big butt, this book is not for me.

I was very sure I’d enjoy it since I ❤ dark and twisted. Why? Well because dark and twisted is not my typical life said no one ever. I read to escape and needed that after the week I had. If you really stop to think, all life is atypical … what a cluster. Not all day, everyday, all the time but often enough … the weight of the world is heavy. But I digress.

I used to be of the “if you break it, you bought it” philosophy. Mixing metaphors here but what I mean is that I finished every book I ever opened … to the bitter end … no matter what. Well y’all, that’s not me any longer. No sir/ no ma’am. No way / no how. Time is a precious commodity. Sadly I stopped reading Bunny about a chapter into Part Two. I plan to check out more from Mona Awad though. See if “it’s not you, it’s me”.

Now for a pantser. LOL. I’m still chuckling. Dropped off the weekly groceries at B’s parents. Where his mom informs us she has to go to the store to get PoPo new clothes since he has lost so much weight. 40 lbs gone since the fall and hospital stay, now back home but still in PT. We told her we’d go. She herself has zero business driving. If she insists, we’ll take her or we can help her order online like last time.

She is resistant. Wants to shop old school. To a degree, I get that but he won’t be going along to try on anyway. Convenience is important at this phase of their lives. She’s prattling about sizes and how he never wears his pants at the right spot. Telling him how he needs to wear pants around his waist not below his belly (which has become non-existent). The convo went something like this:

“Mom, they’ll deliver right to your door”

PoPo not hearing B continues “I’ve tried wearing my pants over my belly button. Five minutes later they drop. To where they’re meant to be.

“No one wants to see your crack”, MoMo says.

“Well maybe they do” PoPo retorts. “I’m a plumber okay. I like being a plumber“.

By this time I’m snort laughing.

Lulu a bit confused asks “PoPo what does being plumber mean?”

I snort some more.

Probably not PC but it’s funny y’all. Don’t ya think? Stereotypical of course. And just so ya know, I have an affinity for plumbers and anyone who works a trade. B has done quite well for himself and for us that way.

As always, more to come.

Not Again! ~ 7/4/21

Every month since January, we have had issues with our cell phone bill. We traded in phones for steep discounts. Instead of applying the credit and dividing the remainder into 30 installments, they charged the full original amount of the phone and deduct a portion of the credit each month. Also, they have removed the ability for an early payoff. Following along on their accounting nightmare has been the opposite of fun. Every month I call and every month, they “fix” the error only to have the error occur again.

I must be better about hiding my irritation because today, this is what I was told via chat. J with nameless provider: I must admit that you’re one of the most polite and understanding customer I have chatted with today. Thank you so much. Ha! You’ve no idea sir. Then the rat bastard tried to sell me two Apple watches with $200 in promotional savings. Uh bite me! You can’t even get basic billing correct; I’m not buying anything else from you. Ever! Though a teeny tiny piece of me feels bad you had to work today.

Ok, back to our 4th of July festivities. Hotdogs and brats on the grill with fun drink combinations from Sonic. That’s what we call livin’ on the edge.

As always, more to come.

I Can’t Remember ~ 7/4/21

I created my Tidbits and Ramblings categories for two distinct reasons of which I do not recall which means I mix-match what goes where. Are Tidbits when I’m needing to release the hounds or is that rambling? Of course I always ramble. In fact, that was the original name of this blog J-Dub’s Musing & Ramblings until I realized how many others used some version of rambling or musing as well. Of course Grin & Bear It isn’t original. But it’s what I do and why it fits.

And at least I got reflections down pat. That’s when I look back at something. Usually. Oh hell what do I know? I should just file everything under LIFE. Ha!!

Okay. Some serious shit is about to go down. Or not because this is not my story to tell but I am impacted deeply despite being a casual observer, on the outskirts, praying.

Watching life happen to people you care about is both beautiful and ugly, tender and rough, salty and sweet. Are you picking up what I’m putting down? Yep, your smarts are obvious. I can’t pull a fast one on anyone of y’all. All y’all. You all. Ha! E’nuf of that nonsense.

I have a foreboding, waiting for the other shoe to drop. I don’t know why I can’t be happy for this person. I keep MSU = making stuff up. I can’t forgive, forget, or trust. I’m sure that is because I was dropped on my head as a child or something. Sheesh. Seriously.

I marvel at anyone who can give unconditional love. We should all be so lucky. Hell I was the recipient of a love you know matter what you do, here for you all the time kind of love yet I can’t return in kind. I say well that’s because I never did anything so terrible. But I did worse. I’m a sinner. Depending on whose authority one judges.

And besides that’s the thing about unconditional love. It’s not about what you do or don’t do. It’s not you’re bad but I love you anyway. Unconditional love is NOT love without boundaries. I’m protecting myself in case it happens again, so that I do not get hurt.

That control thing is in the picture again. Has to stop! If I ask and get an answer, I accept the response. Done! If I’m a fool to believe, so be it. If the worst happens, I couldn’t have prevented it nor can I change it anyway. I’ll simply deal with the aftermath.

I know haven’t spilled the beans here and perhaps you’re wondering that the heck is she going on about. Don’t mind me. Same ole, same ole, overthinking. Madness, pure madness.

As always, more to come.