Friday Feature ~ 5/13/22

Time is doing it’s slippery wiggle again. Yay! I’m still working from home. My in-laws are still on death’s 💀 door. Sorry to be blunt but it’s true. Yet maybe we’re all on death’s 💀 door. We’re all just a second from pow 💥.

My former coworker’s mom and her aunt were killed in a car wreck going to a funeral. They woke up that morning like usual and went to grieve their family member never to return. Neither was in poor health. Completely unexpected. Such a tragedy.

You think 🤔 this knowledge would snap 🫰 me into shape. Make me realize how precious life is and oh it is! I haven’t forgotten that. I’m just out of sorts.

Thank goodness I have therapy today. Getting more tools ⚒️ in my emotional 🥹 health toolbox 🧰. With May being mental health month, having the discussion is apropos.

Even our chief told us yesterday that he was going to visit his mom for the first time in years. She’s out of state in assisted living with mental health issues. Yep. He said that. Right up there on the big stage being broadcast to the masses. End the stigma. It’s about time.

Alrighty. Lemme let ya go 🙃. As always more to come.

Oh My More MSU ~ 4/23/22

I think I mentioned I have an alt Twitter account. Everything about it is me except for the pseudonym. I have mixed feelings about it and feel like a fake a phony and a liar but more about that at another time.

The nice thing about Twitter is the character limitation. So you have to get your thoughts concise and to the point. I have to give a rationale on a court document and I went to Twitter land for assistance. Basically said all I want to tell the court is FU. Now how do I say just because politely. So many folks responded with helpful ideas that I got my case made. Now to find a notary.

Anyway I’ll eventually land this plane. WordPress has no such limitations. LOL.

An author who had just published her book re-tweeted my tweet and said see here this is what we have to deal with and it’s nonsense. She included a bunch of hashtags. And one of them was #60Minutes.

Well y’all know me. I got super excited. What if 60 Minutes sees the tweet and wants to interview me because you know I am the sun? Ha!

I’m not delusional. I know 60Minutes won’t interview me but what if the author has an ‘in’ that regular folks don’t? At a minimum I could make an online article. Or could be that my story which is sadly too common would be part of a composite.

Alrighty I will get on with the rest of my Saturday. I’ve got a library book to return. I’ve got a notary to find. I have some self-care to attend to. It’s going to be a banner day!

As always more to come.

Who Let the Dogs Out? ~ 4/11/22

Releasing the hounds … yet again. In no particular order but all medical related. Stop now if med stuff is TMI. Voyers welcome. I’m a nut.

You might remember my CT that was denied, then approved, then completed on 3/25/22 turned out to cost $592 out of pocket. My early ciphering was off making the no insurance cost of $790 more than for those with insurance. Still a scam with the un/underinsured bearing the brunt of the house of cards that is health insurance.

The CT found a lil something insignificant … a dilated vein which is why PCP referred me to a vascular surgeon. I had that appointment on 4/7/22. And reflected on it yesterday. Oh and my hernia is still there even if not remarked upon in this CT. I was told they just don’t go away. Small hernias show on almost any CT but there’s nothing to do for them unless, they get big. If the hernia is bad enough my stomach would be displaced but it isn’t. Do I believe them? No because my tummy hurts dammit. Equally renal cysts can cause no pain but there they are … a whole colony. Yep I’m making stuff up = MSU. Who knows if cysts form colonies? Sound good though don’t it?

Well the vein place called me back because they want my money. Doh! Because they want to help me. Do you have a driver? Uh ya. B said just do it, so I’m having the test done. Worried about yet another set of x-rays via the venogram and an IV that my one good vein may not take. But per the surgeon, this test is the only way to rule out pelvic congestion syndrome (PCS). Every CT for the last 5 years mentions it. Guess ruling out PCS is a good thing.

I called Aetna. Will you cover this? They look and tell me nothing was submitted yet. Then she went on a diatribe that anything more than ultrasound or basic x-ray needs pre-auth and yes it will be expensive if they sedate me. I wanna be sedated (ear worm). I don’t really wanna be sedated but oh well what the hell. I half snark tell her in 12 years, my CTs were never pre-auth until 2022 but I’ll play your game and call the vein place back.

Spoke to vein place. They got me on the schedule as of our earlier phone call. Two others ahead of me based on time submitted but she would start working to get the insurance part done for me after since first in first out. I told her about the pre-auth. She scoffed and agreed to call me back with a status. Which she did about 45 minutes later.

Sure enough, as I suspected, this venogram passed with flying fucking colors. NO pre auth NEEDED. Here when I maybe want insurance to say really? A minimally invasive procedure to rule out what you know is highly unlikely? But nope, right through the pipeline. So much for anything more than ultrasound or basic x-ray require a pre-auth. Instead the nonsense I had with the prior CT denial was the random, we deny every 10 or so to save the company money. And whether true or not, I do not know. This rant is purely my opinion.

Ugh! Analysis paralysis. I don’t wanna but I’m gonna. I hope the awful phone answering during my exam PA is not who runs my test. But my luck, well ya never know.

As always, more to come.

Lessons in My Walk with Lulu ~ 4/9/22

I feel a novella coming on. Lulu and I did our morning walk. Could not ask for better weather. We took the long way even going topside (to street level) to see the front of the Esquire this time. We also heard the bells at St. Mary’s, another treat. Overall what an eventful day and it’s still early.

On our way, as we walked past McCullough where it hits the river, we saw two homeless gentlemen. One had his life with him, back pack, bed roll, Bible. He was meditating. He knows us and we say hi, politely head nod and pass on our way. The other man was new to us. In camo jumpsuit, no shoes on his feet. Sitting on the bottom step, head down, combing his hair over his face and fidgety.

An hour or so later, on our way back, as we got close to McCullough again we saw people walking quickly, hurrying past the opposite direction from where we heard the splash. Surely it was the goose but too loud for that. We walked closer to the sound, to see the man in camo had jumped right into the river and was splashing about.

As he got out of the water, we asked if he needed help, he didn’t reply walking past us straight up the stairs. Our bible regular said he had been asking several people to call the police but no one stopped except Lulu and me. He told us what happened in the time since we’d first passed by.

Here’s where my riverwalk work experience came in handy. I still have SA Bike Patrol on speed dial. I called and they answered immediately. They said do not approach him and they’d send the nearest bike patrol out but based on description alone they know him as one of their regular “crazies”

Hmm. We’re all a little crazy. Or maybe this … who gets to define crazy? A guy needed help, obviously.

We didn’t stay around, continuing our walk back to the Pearl. Outside the restrooms we actually saw two bike officers. Lulu approached and asked them if they had been called yet, told them what was happening. These two knew who we were talking about too and left in that direction to check it out.

Of course we don’t know what happened. There is always more to the story. As we told B and Pony, they both thought he might do that regularly for the 3 day stay. A place to clean up and have peace even if just for a while until he has to brace another day.

All this juxtaposed against the cuteness of the momma goose and her babies. The conversation with the Centro man who told us about all the geese and other animals including a feral cat colony. Lulu getting to see the front of the Esquire sign. Hearing the bells at St. Mary’s. All I know for sure is that we are very, very lucky. There but for the grace of god, go I.

As always, more to come.

I do not have space on WordPress to share the goose video. But it is very cute. I hope this picture will load.

Awww, even despite their high mortality rate, less than 1/2 will make it because of the hawks.

The Results Are In ~ 3/28/22

Ugh! I was given my CT scan results with a comparison to 2017, 2019, and 2021 scans. I don’t understand how things disappeared. Cysts yes, they can come and go but hernias and deteriorated discs that are crumbling? Those don’t heal themselves. Do they?

I was left with one concern which requires a referral to a vascular surgeon. With a very clear reinforcement that this isn’t urgent. It does NOT automatically mean I need surgery only that a consultation is in order for further diagnosis.

This condition supposedly left behind is called Pelvic Congestion Syndrome (PCS). Past scans have shown this before but I was told PCS doesn’t cause the pain I’m describing. Plus PCS is a younger lady’s ailment. Also, it’s rare even if those under 40. I’m not that unique. The description of who gets this doesn’t truly fit me.

The final difference is that PCS gets worse when standing and better to lie down. Mine is the opposite. Standing stretches me out to release the heavy feeling. When I lie down, I feel somewhat better than I do sitting but no real relief. Constant pain I tell ya! C.O.N.S.T.A.N.T !!!!!

I’ll play this game, I’ll see your $1 and raise you $2. I’m going to the consult. See what this new doctor tells me. I hope my dilated vein doesn’t rupture before I can get in. Too close to what happened to my brother-in-law D. Oy Vey.

I also need to find a new PCP and begin again. No looking at past records for jaded opinions. Like I have amnesia, I can’t remember. Let the games begin all over again.

As always, more to come.

P.S. the real kicker is when I called to schedule the consultation, they found me in the system from 2005-ish. They had my landline which is how I could determine the time frame. We moved here in January of 2000. Changed the phone number to the one they had. Didn’t cancel that landline until we’d been here about 4-5 years. I have zero recollection of getting a vascular consult before now. She was unable to provide more details for me to sleuth around & figure out what happened. Guess I flaked out completely. Oh well, better late than never.

Ta-ta for now 🙂

HR Came Through ~ 3/24/22

My HR department sent the email to confirm insurance would pay. Then within 30 minutes of getting the email, S from Aetna called me to give me the good news. He was so sweet 🥲 and I felt bad that he felt bad for me. He seemed genuinely happy 😃 to tell me. It was off script to call but he did it anyway.

Then the notorious Evacor called but Apple/AT&T identified the call as spam risk. Their voicemail to me says “this call is a regulatory requirement”. I’m approved through 9/20/22. Yay! I think 🤔

The cost which goes to my deductible is $60 more than the cash/no insurance price. Yep I can’t make this stuff up. Gotta love 💕 it.

As always more to come.

Sunday Reflections: A Week in Review ~ 2/27/22

Quick recap of a whirlwind week that ended with some rest and self care. Donuts for breakfast with nice hot coffee. Doesn’t get better than this. Hope this week is good for all of us.

Peace y’all. Until next time. Stay safe.

As always, more to come.

🐏 blings ~ 2/7/22

Yes the she that is me is a whirling dervish. Waiting for an appointment and of course I’m nervous 😬. Bet my blood pressure will be through the roof.

I’ve forgotten this feeling of anticipation. It kinda sucks not gonna lie. I actually enjoyed the commute here. And the tunes are helping. So there is that.

Deep breath 😮‍💨 slowly exhale 😮‍💨. Ohm ohm ohm. Aaaaahh let’s get this show on the road.

Aging Parent & the Covid Chronicles ~ 1/16/22

What a whirlwind week. My mother in law isn’t doing well at all. Two hospital visits in short succession. She is back home as of this writing but for how long? Did you know when you call EMS, you get taken to the hospital even if you don’t need it? Yep, EMS cannot make that determine only a doctor can so if you call, you get carted in. Otherwise there could be a malpractice claim or some such. I’m not quite sure how I feel about that. The second hospital run on Friday was for a nose bleed. Yep. There was no need to take her in at all but in she went anyway because in a panic PoPo called them.

Then yesterday, B and Pony were going to go to our place in the hill country for some r&r but they were called back for another emergency. PoPo was frantic, rightfully so but he called B instead of the ambulance. Took three of them to get her into a more upright position. She was having trouble breathing but it turned out to be a panic attack. She took our last at home covid test and when she saw she was negative, she calmed down. She was sure she got “IT” at the hospital on Friday. And she could have still. We’ll have to wait and see. Can’t wait for Wednesday when we can order our tests for at home – four per household.

The nice part (if there’s anything nice about the Rona daze) is we minimize our exposure. Lulu is a permanent remote worker. Pony’s company is taking a wait and see approach and he’s at home until end of the month at least. Me? I get to choose and until this uptick in cases dies down, I’m staying put. B is the only one going out to work right now. All four of us are double vaccinated and boosted and all four of us wear KN95 masks if indoors in a peopley place. B even wears his mask on the job which is outdoors but still peopley. We’ve come to the conclusion of not if but when and it’ll come in through B. Or who knows maybe all the precautions will work to keep things at bay?

Back to MoMo. She needs to be in a nursing home. When the subject was broached, she came unglued. We stopped the convo immediately lest she stroke out right there in front of us. Thing is she NEEDS 24/7 care. B can’t keep running over there in the middle of the night because she incoherent and PoPo can’t get help her. PoPo is not back to 100% yet from his broken leg either. He’s frustrated that he cannot do everything for her but sad fact is he can’t. And even if he was in better shape himself, nursing is a profession requiring lots of training. PoPo is not a nurse. This is groundhog day. PoPo’s mom sweet Tutu was put in a nursing home because they realized she needed more care than they could give her in their home. MoMo was fine with that. Now that she needs the same type of care, she’s being ornery.

Of course there are people out there thinking how bad we are for not keeping her at home. Calling us selfish even. Maybe we are being selfish? Or maybe we’re feeling guilty? MoMo has never been an easy person to deal with. Let’s just say it’s complicated.

Here’s a plug for long term care insurance. Just do it! B and I have it since we were in our 20s. People think the coverage is for older folk only but anyone can need long term care. Think car wrecks and such. Now all we need is to get our pre-arranged funeral plans in order.

I’ve already told the kids if I get this way … like MoMo … to just drop me off in the hill country somewhere on our property. I’ll wonder around until nature takes its course. They can even assist me if they’d like by pushing me off the highest point on the place down into the ravine. Just make sure my death is instant. Doh! Humor even dark humor is what is called for right now. This too shall pass. God willing and the creek don’t rise.

As always, more to come.

The Saga Continues ~ 12/29/21

Alrighty. Well the broke ass phone is all packed up in its box and ready to be returned. But it is going off every five minutes with a quick little chime. All this despite not even having the SIM card in it.

So weird because yesterday it didn’t make any noise but now that it’s packed up to be mailed back, it’s pinging like nobody’s business. I sure hope that the post office will still deliver … that they don’t think it’s some sort of a bomb or something. Which makes me wonder what kind of weird things get mailed. I know they have their rules about no liquids etc. but this isn’t a liquid.

And we really have no other option but to mail, it’s not like there’s a return center we can drive to. I’m not sure whether I should be irritated with AT&T or the manufacturer Samsung. I am refocusing my ire to Samsung … the mofos. If they make and sell a phone for over a grand, then it needs to effing work. And not go cuckoo for cocoa puffs after less than a year.

I have about 30 minutes to showtime. Fingers crossed that it’ll just run out of steam. Wish us luck! And have a very happy Wednesday!