Thursday Thoughts ~ 9/29/22

Here we go! My last thought of the month. Oh who am I kidding?!? My thoughts are a daily whirling dervish. If I’m not overthinking, I’m sleeping. I’m also scheduling this post so that I don’t miss my once a day forever goal. This is post 1508 in a row with 4112 posts in total since I began this blog for real the second time. Saved my life I tell you what!

Yesterday, not really yesterday but 9/23/22*, my monitor went out. This is a Hannspree which are hard to find but a boatload are available on eBay. I vividly remember getting the monitor. I told the guy at Best Buy, don’t take advantage of a luddite, I want the least expensive but most reliable monitor. Oh & I’m really not a luddite. I LOVE new technology & while I can’t keep up with the kiddos, I have found ways of meeting my technology needs handily … for my purposes which are limited anyway. Sometimes I play dumb to get assistance when I’m impatient but mostly when in doubt, I right click my way to something.

So back to the monitor. It is at least 22 years old because I have had it ever since we moved here. I said this recently, I mark time by life events. I worked on my little laptop all hunched over which is NOT good for my back but I couldn’t really take a day off since I was facilitating training that day. Pony had an extra monitor that he brought to me that afternoon but in doing the ole switcheroo, the gently used screen got damaged when we accidentally laid it on top of the camera. Now that screen is completely toast. He wasn’t upset because he was never going to use it again anyway.

But then a funny thing happened on the way to the forum. I mean a generally funny thing happened. The jingling around (my technical term for reestablishing connection) of the Hannspree brought it back to life all Evanescence Thank you Amy Lee. I used it for a while last night* without issue & today (really 9/24/22) I have some flickering when I delete emails of all things. Then the screen went all fuzzy like the end of TV broadcast in the old days. This means I’m getting a new monitor even though the laptop works in a pinch.

I surely do not want to go back into the office more days than mandated just to have a big screen. More so because our covid protocols at work are relaxed. The mandatory testing is done & the what to do if exposed has changed. No more quarantine. Come on in folks, the water is fine. We’ll be back to the old days of if you’re not coughing up a lung & your fever is 101 or less, we expect to see you there. FML, seriously. I’m wanting to avoid exposure at all costs because we have to help B’s parents. I’ll never forgive myself for passing this along. But all I can do is control myself so I am five times vaccinated – two shots, two boosters (regular), & one booster (bivalent). I’ll do whatever I need to do annually as well. Sure I’m overreacting but that’s what I’m known for don’t cha now. lol

As always, more to come.

Thursday Thoughts ~ 9/22/22

Borrowed these words because I couldn’t have said it better myself …

For what it’s worth, I don’t share my sometimes painful personal history to garner some sort of sympathy for myself, or in support of any causes, though I do support causes, I share so others like me will know they’re not alone. I believed I was all alone.

Anonymous

I know better now. We are legion. Sadly. This cohort that I keep alluding to here because I’m a big chicken who doesn’t want to be found out or found out further knows too. How can I be my best, most honest & genuine self if I conceal certain parts of what makes me, well me? The answer lies somewhere in between. I can’t really explain it. When I try, my response sounds like an excuse.

This post is written in response to a spam comment I received where the author accused me of whining. Damn straight I do & if you don’t like it, scroll on by.

As always, more to come.

Thursday Thoughts ~ 9/15/22

Y’all know I’m a talker who always has a story to tell. I go on repeat sometimes. Today is one of those times with a slight twist. I asked Lulu if she remembers the story of how her dad & I got engaged. She says “I sure do” & repeats this …

You’d been working at your first real job since February. In March, the rental became available on Glamis after former tenants snuck out in the middle of the night while two months in arrears. Your parents were kind-hearted people who let their tenants pay late or as much as they could when they could. You wanted to rent the house but Gran said “NO!” at the same time Grandpa said “sure why not? She’s got to grow up sometime Theresa”.

Dad was looking for a place too and said y’all should live together but you said “nope, but you can come over after work & visit me anytime.” Just like Tom Bodett from Motel 6, “we’ll leave the light on”. 😂

He’d have to leave by 10 PM sharp though. That was a Gran visitation rule because after all what would the neighbors think if his truck was parked there overnight ?!?!? Then dad says “hey you wanna we get married?” and you said “sure why not?” Six months later, y’all walked down the aisle.

That’s a paraphrase of the unromantic tale of Jilly & B Dub’s engagement.

We were so young & clueless. Meant to be a statistic. But I think we survived because with each kick in the teeth, we became stronger. We mourned the passing of so many loved ones. Some before the their time like our brothers. RIP Jim & Danny. The accidents, oh lordy. So much blood & so many stitches. ER visits with Tom. B’s cut tendon. The home break in – October of 2006. His really bad fall in April of 2014. Everything our sweet baby girl went through. To the current woes of helping his parents through the absolute HELL on earth that their lives have become.

See! More unromantic. But there is just as much goodness to balance out the bad. And we can laugh to keep from crying. Inappropriate humor & snark, the ties that bind.

So much for a gushy anniversary post. No flowery, to my best friend, the light of my life. Blah, blah, blah…. Instead a simple “happy anniversary” to my partner in crime who for 38 (loooonnng or blink of an eye) years has stood by my side. Kicking ass & taking names. Haha!

And tonight we feast! Pork loin, baked potatoes, & brussel sprouts. For dessert, wedding cookies courtesy of Lulu 💕

As always, more to come.

Thursday Thoughts ~ 9/8/22

Subtitle: Street Clothes – Fashion Sense

Well, I’m back in the office at least two days a week which means I needed to get some new duds.  I used to love shopping but then hated shopping because of what happened on 10/30/06.  Maybe I should be over that by now huh?  Anyway, I was not looking forward to getting new clothes.

One thing I did during our whole work from home phase, to keep me from going off the rails, was to get up & get dressed in what my mom used to refer to as street clothes.  That was one sure fire way to tell the difference between night & day.  No half-dressed Zoom calls for me. 

Mind you I didn’t get all dressed up, just changed out of pajamas.  My uniform became shorts & a t-shirt in warm months & sweats & a t-shirt for cold months.  I completely forgot what shoes were, but I had loads of crazy socks.

At the onset of the pandemic, I had begun a fitness journey as an example to Lulu.  In the beginning of 2020 & almost that whole year I was at my bantamweight fighting weight class.  Then I got comfortable with things & started baking all kinds of heavenly delights from scratch with lard, butter, whole milk, etc. I quit walking with the excuse it was too hot or too cold.  And I gained weight.  I’m more than a number on the scale so that didn’t bother me too much.  Somehow I gained just enough to stay in the same size albeit not as comfortably. 

There is a point in here somewhere.  I promise I am getting to it.

Lulu knows how much I dislike shopping.  She asked me if I wanted to try some of her clothes.  She has a closet full of sizes that she is keeping just in case.  So, I went shopping in her closet and found two nice pair of jeans, one size up from my current wardrobe but oh so comfortable.    Two days in the office = two pair of jeans, shopping spree averted.  I have so many USAA branded polos that I could wear a different one on the two in office days of each week & not wear the same shirt for two months.  For all you math aficionados out there, that is 16 polos.  Because of the issues with my feet, I’m resolved to only wearing tennis shoes.  Comfort over fashion all-day any day.  Sure makes things easy.

Now where was I? I’m not sure. Maybe what I thought I wanted to say doesn’t need to be said. Only going to reinforce, we are all more than a number on the scale no matter what anyone else tells us. Lulu has lost over 100 lbs and maintained that weight loss for going on two years.

The events that contributed to the gain have changed; basically she switched medication. The sentiment for the time prior to that was better fat & alive than skinny & dead. As if that particular medication was her life raft. She may have made the switch sooner but finding medical care for an invisible disease is rough. I don’t have enough time to go down the rabbit hole that is mental health care but options are sparse & that’s putting it mildly.

Deep down to her core, Lulu is the same person & people still remarking that she looks good makes her wonder what they thought of her before. Makes your sense of self wobbly. Think twice before opening your yap people, myself included. Be kind because you’ve no idea what anyone else is going through.

As always, more to come.

Thursday Thoughts ~ 9/1/22

Subtitle: Breakfast with the Brain Trust & Word Root Origin

Last Saturday, we ate out as a family for the first time in over a year.  I always love our family meals (at home or away) because we have the no TV/cell phone rule & we talk.  I mean really talk about whatever pops into our heads.  The conversation flows smoothly like a lazy river.  The kind you can float on all day.  This is where I get to see that my kids are wonderful human beings not because of me but in spite of me.  Both very opinionated & articulate about their beliefs & moral character.  They have surpassed their momma.  Our conversations are not always serious, we laugh.  A lot.  Even after the change in dynamics, losing my daughter-in-law, figuratively.  Pony forgave her so we should too but damn that whole situation still stings.   Moving on, we always enjoy a good sarcastic chuckle.  The kind you wouldn’t repeat in polite company yet here I am about to repeat. 

Well I won’t tell all.  I’m not my guilty pleasure, the Bachelorette(s).  Trash TV forever calling my name.  Darn you ABC & your enticing melodrama.

Here is one funny excerpt:

Pony – did you realize fascism and fajita have the same root origin?

Me – seriously or are you joking?

Pony – seriously, there’s a whole timeline of the change, look it up later

Lulu – ya, I read fascism goes back to the Latin fascia & fajita goes back to the Spanish faja

Me – how do you know that?

Lulu – Twitter

Me – LOL encyclopedia Twitter for the win

Pony – So, fajita = strip of meat & fascism = strip of rights … think about that …

And we laughed because it is dark humor.  Not funny ha-ha but funny that makes you think.

As always, more to come.

Thursday Thoughts ~ 8/25/22

I only have two more physical therapy appointments before my doctor’s appointment. I’m nervous because I’ve been at this for a while, but I’m not really better. Sure I joke around. And I really like all the people at the facility. Staff and fellow patients alike. It’s really a nice social structure. We laugh & encourage each other. Believe it or not I am enjoying each session.

Feels like these exercises have kept me from getting worse. But the pain was already pretty bad to begin with. Hard to believe I’ve dealt with this sH!t for over 12 years. When the pain began it was intermittent. I’d just had my foot surgery. I was working for TD & had the cushy desk by the window. That’s how I keep tabs by remembering other life events that coincided.

Now I can’t remember when was my last pain free day. At least I’m ok for about an hour post physical therapy. But I think that’s the ice keeping the pain at bay. I’m not really pain free, I’m frozen. And I can sleep without the pain waking me up. That’s a plus. Anyhoo, when I whine and complain, as I often do, know it’s physical pain that’s driving me to the edge.

Alrighty enough feeling sorry for myself. I’ve got plenty to appreciate. A list in fact. I’m going to be grateful for my good fortune.

As always more to come.

Thursday Thoughts Part Two ~ 8/18/22

I’m back in the saddle again. Aka two days a week with butt in seat in the behemoth that is 9800 Fredericksburg Rd. Y’all heard me whining before about going back. Things were unofficial until the email of 7/28/22. Now there’s no doubt. Hybrid means come back.

I was scared 😳 of the vid. I still am. I haven’t had it yet but if I’m around people more, my chances increase. We’re to test weekly on the honor system. You know I’m swabbing but not sure about anyone else.

I’ve lost count of others who’ve had it. Including my elderly infirm mother in law. She made it through okay & many do. I also know people who’ve died. Back to two things can be true at the same time. I also read where as much as 95% of the US population have immunity from either the vaccines/boosters or natural immunity from contracting the virus.

Time to take some chances I guess. I’m not quite ready to retire. With recent events at work, I’m grateful 🥹 to keep my job as others around me received the 60 days or else love letter. I’m hearing there’s life after. Still hope I don’t have to find out.

As always, more to come.

Thursday Thoughts ~ Because Ya Know ~ 8/11/22

Holy smokes, I almost wrote ’21 when adding the date to the title. Ugh. I had tons of thoughts until just now as I sat down to write this post. And I still kind of do … have tons of thoughts because ya know, if I’m not thinking, I’m not breathing. But these pearls of knowledge aren’t coherent. They are a whirling dervish. I’m putting off some actions I need to take before I can move on from the morass that has become my situation because ya know, don’t ask the questions if you don’t want to know the answers. Instead I stay in the churn of not knowing as time keeps ticking waiting for no one. Last day of physical therapy is today and then on to plan B or whatever the insurance company decides for me because ya know they are in a position to determine what this old infirmed person needs, medical license or no medical license. Such a racket.

Ta-ta for now.

As always, more to come.

Thursday Thoughts 💭 ~ 8/4/22

I’m in a silly 🙃 mood. I’m remembering when I first got my cellphone 📱 & didn’t really know what I was doing. I was getting all my contacts together. Pony grabbed my phone when I wasn’t 👀 looking & changed his name to “Kickass P”. I’ve had what feels like a dozen phones since then & and his contact name still carried over as kick ass 🤣

We are not texters. Or at least we’re not good at texting 💬. Except for Lulu. To a point where B made Lulu answer his phone calls when she was away at college. “Give your old man a break”. And she did.

Pony even prefers to talk instead of text. Reminds me of his friends calling the house phone 📞 back in landline days asking for him. His voice over the phone ☎️ as he grew up sounding more & more like B’s dearly departed brother ❤️‍🩹. May Uncle D Rest In Peace.

Last week we were staying put due to Covid. B was exposed at the nursing home when visiting his mom. His doctor told him to wear a mask 😷 or social distance. To test on day 5 & if a positive test or he got symptoms to call back. Thankfully, he was negative on day 5 & none of us caught it. But this meant we were all at home last week 🏠. To maintain a social distance, instead of mask wearing inside the house, we went to four corners and texted each other.

I’m telling ya what, I’ve never laughed so much. I’ve learned how clever & funny 😁 they can be when forced to write. And oh m gee, the memes 🤣.

We’re back to normal, talking instead of text. I’ve decided I’m never 👎 going to delete our group chat 💬. When I’m gone they can scroll through & laugh while remembering me.

Okay 👌🏽 now. Lemme let ya go.

As always more to come.