Thoughtful Thursday ~ 12/31/20

New Years Eve!!! Yeah buddy. One of my favorite days of the year. And not just this year but for as long as I can remember. To me, New Years Eve is magical.

I may have mentioned this before but my parents were social creatures. Raising kids in the 60s, 70s, and even 80s was sort of fend for yourself. The “go outside to play and don’t come back until the street lights come on” mentality which really meant run the streets like wild filthy animals. Guess we were social creatures too.

Back to my parents. They went out every single weekend to some place or another. They belonged to so many organizations I lost count. Sometimes these events included bringing the kids along but more often than not, these were adult only gatherings. New Years Eve was always a dance at Martinez Hall. BYOB with set ups provided and a swing band like Adolph Hofner or another local band.

Dad would make black eyed peas from scratch no canned stuff like I get today. He’d fill thermos full and take these little paper cups so that each person (if they wanted) got a spoonful at midnight. My mom wasn’t much of a dancer. My dad on the other hand danced with all the ladies never leaving the dance floor.

While the cats were away, we mice played. By mice, I mean me and my brothers. We’d have snacks and what seemed like endless soda. We’d play board games and/or watch News Rockin Eve. We had fireworks! Always! And WITHOUT adult supervision.

I remember some bitterly cold New Years Eves shooting bottle rockets down the hill on Howerton about 1/2 a block. We never hit a car driving down Dollarhide thank goodness. But we sure could have. Except mostly the streets were deserted.

I also remember holding roman candles, arm straight out to my right side while I looked left, eyes closed. One star, two stars, three stars! Boom, boom, boom. All this despite the instructions which clearly say do not hold! Again fortunate that I never blew a finger off. Or worse! We were lucky.

One year, not sure when only that I was not of driving age, our neighbor Mr. Jerrold was three sheets to the wind. He had his own cache of firecrackers too. He called us to come outside to see the show. He had a pile of “black cats” in the middle of his driveway. And an acetylene torch! Which he fired up to light the pile. After all the popin subsided the grass continued to burn. Doh! My brother, Jimbo Pete ran over to help him hook up the hose and put the fire out. Wild and crazy times! His wife was mortified by his behavior and kept apologizing but us kids thought it was the best show ever!!! Yeah buddy.

Damn to be young again. Haha.

Yesterday as I filling out paperwork for nine months no interest on new tires, the clerk wished me a belated happy birthday. He then said something like “my back hurts, don’t ever get old”. I replied “considering the alternative, I’ll keep getting old”. Chronologically only. In my mind, I’m forever that tween who lived life to the fullest with all the zest she could muster. I think I lost her for a bit in 2020 but she’s back. Now to keep it that way.

Wishing you all the best in 2021. May the New Year be peaceful by hook or by crook, in every nook and cranny! Cheers to you and yours!!!

As always, more to come.

Thoughtful Thursday ~ 12/24/20

Our Christmas Eve will be spent socially distanced at the in-laws. We are walking over, down the lane that connects our two properties. Only six people. That number was almost going to be five as I threatened a boycott. Not for any other reason than my anxiety. I’m sure the Rona is going to get me.

Their house has an open floor plan. We’re sitting more than six feet apart. I’ll keep my mask on since one can never be too careful.

I’d say this gathering isn’t worth the extra precaution. That perhaps we should just skip. But we’re going for it since tomorrow isn’t guaranteed. Which is sort of a conundrum in the context of COVID. People going for it without a care in the world kinda contributes to the problem. But we will follow all the rules and then add some of our own.

I already have my seat picked out. Back to the wall. In a corner by the backdoor. Hand sanitizer ever at the ready :).

Wishing folks a blessed day.

Thoughtful Thursday ~ 12/17/20

Howdy folks, Thoughtful Thursday might be a new weekly exercise for me. I’ll call this potential new topic a cousin to Ramblings and/or Reflections. I might even formalize and get a tag line going. Just spit balling ideas – so many thoughts so little time

Naw, that sucks. I’ll noodle it over and get back to you with something profound. lol

Back to basics with a definition:


1- absorbed in or involving thought;

2- showing consideration for the needs of other people;

3 – showing careful consideration or attention

Example: “brows drawn together in thoughtful consideration”

Similar words: pensive, thinking, reflective, contemplative, musing, meditative, introspective, prayerful, philosophical, cogitative, ruminative, absorbed, engrossed, rapt, preoccupied, deep/immersed/lost in thought, brooding, broody, serious, studious, solemn, dreamy, dreaming, wistful, melancholy, sad. ruminant, profound, deep, intelligent, sensitive, pithy, meaty, weighty

Well look at that would ya. And here I only associated thoughtful with kindness. But pensive is a stressed word. And so is brooding and/or brows knitted or drawn together. Not sure what this will turn into eventually but for now, placeholder space for drum roll please ………………….. MY THOUGHTS ❤

As always more to come.

Rambling ~ 12/10/20

I am not an expert, I just play one on TV. Oh how I wish I had paid more attention is school to become someone who could deal with our circumstance though I guess they don’t let you treat your own family for a reason anyway. Painful to watch but learning through the pain. Now understandable how things get so bad. Help is elusive. Time we are out of time. Effectively done. At our wits end with no place to turn. Countless others before us and after us in the same state. Not much else to say other than hold on … hold one for one more day.

As always, more to come.

Life’s Messy ~ 12/4/20

Does anyone remember the commercial for Bissel? Life’s messy, clean it up. I’ve been thinking about this slogan quite a bit lately. My friend FJ used to say that was our friend L’s motto towards life.

Pony is about the same age as their kids and despite having not seen them in over a decade, we spent copious amount of time together during what would have been their formative years. Poor Lulu did not have a similar cohort and that makes me sad but that is a story for another day.

Whenever we got together for play dates, the kids wanted to be at L’s. She’d let them do just about anything. Why? Well because doing just about anything was fun. Five kids playing their hearts out created a mess. After all the shenanigans were all done, then you cleaned stuff up. But you didn’t stop playing because you might create a mess.

There is something philosophical in all this rambling I promise.

FJ and I were the opposite. I can’t claim to be a neat freak since I’m not but I do like things nice. If I spent an inordinate amount of time deep cleaning to get ready for a play date, I wanted the house to stay that way for a while. I’d come behind with a rag or broom. Never living in the moment. Trying my best to hold it all together. FJ was the same way to a point that she stopped cleaning completely. Why bother when things would get bad again anyway?

Out of all of us, who was the happiest? Why L of course. Let them make a mess, let them have fun, let go and live a little. When it’s all said and done put things back in their rightful place. This is akin to using the good towels. I spent way too much of my life saving things for a “special” day instead of making every day special even in the mundane. And the guilt is overwhelming some days.

Would’ve, could’ve, should’ve … the bane of my existence. You’d think I learned from my past therapy. And mostly I did but I still slip back now and again. Today is one of those “again” days. Where I can’t turn off my brain or stop blaming myself.

The controller in me wants to go behind with a rag and a broom. Ever at the ready to stop the catastrophe that is about to occur. Worrying about ‘what if’ instead of letting go. Whatever happens, happens. I mean I have cleaned up messes before right? Some pretty horrific ones too. I am telling myself I can do this as I watch, waiting for the proverbial other shoe to drop.

As always, more to come.

Darn You WP & Entertainment Ramble ~ 11/26/20

WP won’t allow me to be mobile. iPhone or iPad. Looks like it doesn’t recognize me being logged in. I can only read posts. No liking or commenting. Ugh. I’ll move to my desktop eventually after I run through all my goodies on DVR. The addiction is real y’all. Roll call for …

  • This is Us
  • A Million Little Things
  • Filthy Rich 🤑
  • The Good Doctor 👩‍⚕️ 👨‍⚕️
  • Next 👾
  • Station 19
  • Grey’s Anatomy
  • Dancing with the Stars ✨
  • Amazing Race
  • The Voice
  • The Bachelorette
  • The Masked Singer
  • All the Datelines, 48 Hours, 20/20, 60 Minutes
  • All the sitcoms we watch live – Young Sheldon, Mom, B Positive, The Connors, American Housewife, Goldberg’s
  • Penn and Teller
  • Whose Line is it Anyway
  • All the game shows: I Can See Your Voice, Weakest Link, Millionaire, Card Sharks, Press Your Luck, Match Game, Price is Right, Let’s Make a Deal 🤝

Whew 😅 thank goodness for Prime Time Anytime auto record from 7 pm to 10 pm week days. Without that there just aren’t enough hours in the day. When I finally sit down to watch, I skip commercials and otherwise fast forward to see just what I want. Mask Singer for example, I just watch the unveiling. For Amazing Race, I watch with a pause or two to see some of the challenges but otherwise I fast forward to elimination. Anyway you slice or dice 🎲 I’ve got a problem. My way to deal with self imposed quarantine in a pandemic 😷 is to watch TV!!!!!!!!!

Blogging is also my constant companion. And work! All with a back drop of music 🎶 and reading 📖 though truth be told my attention span doesn’t allow for much reading just for pleasure these days. At least I’m back to reading some though even if not at the same velocity. Oh well. I’m not complaining. Instead I’m grateful and my heart ♥️ is full.

Happy Thanksgiving folks!

As always more to come.

General Brambly Stuff 10/22/20

I need to check my motives. Yeah buddy. I’ve been playing the passive aggressive game instead of just walking away. But dang if I was going to be run off by a control freak. This town is only big enough for one head honcho and that’s moi. Ya see? Scram. Get outta here…

I told you this was brambly. Now I’ve got to go. Our virtual conference took away from the work week and I am off tomorrow. Putting in the time now. See ya on the flip side. Ten/4 good buddy.

As always more to come.

Mish Mash 10/8/20

A ramble from Dubsie inspired by the many thoughts popping like pop corn. Made the old school way. In hot oil, in a skillet with a non-see-through lid. Pop! Pop pop pop pop pop … you get the drift 🙂

Make new friends but keep the old, one is silver and the other gold

Man that’s what I should’ve said for #SoCS last Saturday. A gold standard Girl Scout sing-along-song. To be sung in rounds. Make new friends but keep the old, one is silver and the other gold. Belated ear worm alert.

Speaking about Girl Scouts, here is some nostalgia for ya in the gallery below. I was told Jilly don’t you dare get rid of those. Instead these were sent off to a good home. Museum quality stuff right there I tell you what. Boy howdy!!

Back to #SoCS, I was originally going to write a poem.

old is new

left is right

up is down

Look at these clowns

Oops my thought bubble escaped. Does anyone get my thinly veiled innuendo? Or am I being obtuse?

Them Dems. I am not a Dem, I am Jill. A women in her mid 50s. With the right to make up her own mind and change it if needed. As crooked as they come instead of straight down the line. In this case, in my humble opinion, crooked is good. To be lumped in to either side and painted with abroad brush is a crazy maker.

I’ve scrolled through the Internet and things are not pretty out there but that’s life said in my Frankie Sinatra voice over of voice. It is what it is. Life has always been a mixed bag but now we know about “stuff” in real time. The world is more in your face mutha-fuckers. The question is what, if anything, can we believe?

How do I deal with this insanity? I laugh! A-lot! At totally inappropriate things. In private mostly and with close family and friends who do not judge me. Sarcastic mister (missus) know-it-all as the Red Hot Chili Peppers once sang. And seriously folks, with the utmost sincerity, I do not wish ill on anyone. I am not at all happy by the turn of events. I do not say “karma” instead of ha-ha-ha you get what you deserve. None of us “deserve” any of this sH!t.

As always, more to come.

A Ramble and A Confession

I have been having quite the week. I laugh to power through but there are times that laughter does not work. Like now. I think I have gone off the deep end.

Okay, I can hear you …

Well not really because this is virtual yet real as opposed to fake rambling. I imagine you’re thinking what’s new?!?! She’s neurotic. I am and I own it.

Okay to I have these physical symptoms that have become impossible to ignore. I had a tele-med appointment on 8/17 and on 8/18 I had labs and now I sit waiting. Scared to find out what the eating habits of the home bound have done to me. Weigh-wise I am good, maintaining but I have known forever that you can be a thin unwell person.

The Sunday before my Monday appointment I was surfing the net and taking surveys. I got two calls this week to follow-up on my responses with offers to assess my health. Despite having my doctor’s appointment, I thought what the hell why not????

The first place was something called Wellness Hormone Center WHC. For the low, low price of $3,000, I get labs, B12 injections, and hormone pellets injected into my backside. The crazy part is I am actually considering this insanity. Because I hurt and I am tired of hurting. And taking pain meds would put me on the path to addiction. Of that I am certain.

The second place was called the Pinnacle. They are a research group trying to diagnose fatty liver. This place does something like a sonogram and labs. If I do not have fatty liver, they cut me loose but if I do, then they try different treatments on me. Uh ya, wait! Why? Cuz I know … that you know … that I know … that I am not going to consent to treatment by these quacks. Are they “real” as opposed to fake doctors????

B keeps asking me what kind of places these are and am I sure? I have no idea to either. My guess is they are pseudo scientists trying to help people OR they are con men and women. And I am always unsure. All of this scares the bejesus out of me but like I said I am tired of hurting.

I’m fairly certain I will not participate in the I pay 3K for hormone and B12 injections. I’m too much of a cheapskate. Re: fatty liver, does me no good to find out I have a fatty liver. Ignorance is bliss. I won’t take the treatments anyway even if I qualify. I can’t un-ring the bell as they say.

I’ll report back if I take a leap of faith right off the ever loving bridge.

As always, more to come.

Thursday Hodge Podge

Hey folks.  I feel the need to ramble a bit.  One good thing that has come from the Rona is my continued good attitude.  Mind you it is not constant because that is not humanly possible but more often than not, I can shake it off.  Like water off a duck’s back baby.

I used to hate that expression.  Was used in my limited sports career.  Ball in the face … shake it off.  Kicked in shin … shake it off.  Well you effing shake it off would ya?  Maybe we, the humans, should power through the pain.  Embrace what hurts and not shake it off.  Reminiscent of  fake it until you make it.  Wait! No faking aloud.  Feel the pain and experience growth.

What is she blabbering on about?  Even she has no idea.  Some stuff happened this week that gives me serious perspective.  This is not a reflection, this is my Hodge Podge as I think of it list:

  • I just learned a co-owner has a 13 month old who has been in the hospital 9 months out of her short little life.  Mamma has been working remotely from a hospital waiting room.  Perspective.
  • Family friend’s brother wasn’t feeling well.  They ran a blood test last week.  Monday he found out he has liver, stomach, and brain cancer.  Another relative of theirs just passed away from stomach cancer this year.  Perspective.
  • WD nursing home where my disabled brother GP lives has the first cases of Rona.  He doesn’t have it but building 400, where they kept that covid-bitch out of since March finally has four people.  I am told he is not one of them and all patients are no longer allowed to leave their rooms. Perspective.

Me after hearing the above:  Well that’s not a problem right?  I mean I was told that he’ll never walk again.

Nurse:  Oh no honey, he figured out how to maneuver his wheel chair.  In fact, we’re having a hard time keeping him in his room.  He wheels on out to the nurses station several times a day.

Me: no words but felt a giggle bubbling up.  That scoundrel.  He is managing to survive despite what those horrible people did to him.  I have never written about his captivity except in innuendo.  I may have a short story in me one day.

Happy Thursday!!!  Only two more days to #free48.  Make your day the best day ever 🙂

As always, more to come.