Sunday Steps

Because We All Need A Little Levity, Things I've Overheard

Last week I called it getting my steps in. Several folks reached out to me and asked if I had joined AA. Nope and I don’t really think you’re supposed to ask me that. You know the anonymous part is truly supposed to be anonymous. At least I think it is. 

Anyhoo I’m at in again.   Getting those steps in. Here is proof 😂.  


Now for a little levity.   As I was walking, I overheard the following on the 📢 

Attention Wally World shoppers! Attention! For your safety please do not ride the bicycles or run or get on the skateboards while wearing an animal head. 

Your safety is our utmost concern.  Thank you for shopping at WallyWorld! 

These are direct quotes except for the use of Wally World.    Instead Wally World is my veiled attempt to use a synonym for the behemoth retailer we all know and love or we all love to hate.  

Yup I know don’t quit my day job. 

As always, more to come.

You can judge your realtor by his preset radio choices

Because We All Need A Little Levity

Ours had Fox sports, ESPN, Highway (J-Dub says yuck),  Alt hair nation, and lithium 🎶

So? Well in my opinion he’s a pretty good guy. He sure did have a lot of patience. Our experience was like Goldilocks and the three bears. 🐻🐻🐻 Too hard to soft and just right. 

I would’ve posted this sooner, but we had no cell service for the majority of this trip. Going forward that might just be a deal breaker. I might’ve said I would live under a bridge with Billy Bob?  Yep, I did and I would. But under a bridge I would still have the Internet 😂

I didn’t take pictures. He asked me not to and I complied. I didn’t even try to sneak any this time.  

As always, more to come.

Another Ehhh Moment 

Because We All Need A Little Levity

A competitor’s commercial uses a Doris Day song Bushel and a Peck.  The conversation went something like this:

Me: You know that commercial with the remodel? The lyrics are I love you a bushel and a peck, a bushel and a peck … even though you make my heart a wreck.  It’s wreck right?

Billy: Yeah, its wreck.  The commercial was just on. 

Me: That’s not what I heard 😁

Lulu: I know what YOU heard. But they’d never say that on TV.  

Me: Oh sure they would.  I think you can even say the 3rd best f word on TV now. 

Billy: Not on regular TV.  They’d lose commercial revenue if they use that word 

Me singing MY version 🎶 I love you a bushel and a peck, a bushel and a peck … even though you make my heart erect 🎶

Lulu: MOM. Stop it! You’re not allowed to sing anymore. 

Billy:  Yep. No singing AND we’re getting you a hear aid.  

I can’t believe I ate the whole thing

Because We All Need A Little Levity

Well, almost.  I ate 3/4 of the thing.  Plus fries.  Plus a fully leaded Dr.  Pepper.  Oh no, she’s on the sauce again. See this oldie but a goody.  

And by thing,  I mean sandwich.  Triple decker.  

And by triple decker, I mean not one or two BUT three slices of bread. 🤤 

I should’ve stopped at half. 

I keep thinking today’s Friday too. I hate when I lose a day.  I’ve got so much to do.  

And I was just 👀 ing for my phone.  That is in my hand 😂.  Anyone else do that?  Say yes puhleese.  

Oh well, lunch is over.  Back at it. As always more to come. 

Ehhh What’d You Say?

Because We All Need A Little Levity, Sing Along Song Of The Day 🎤

Ehhh – I love sound effects. Go on click it :); you know you want to.

After many years wearing a headset for work and listening to blaring music, I cannot hear as well as I once did.  I am better about it not bothering me when I have to ask someone to repeat themselves. Better to ask  What’d you say? than to pretend I heard something that I didn’t.  One can get in muchos trouble that way.

This afternoon Lulu and I had our hair done.  Me the usual covering the roots and Lulu an asymmetrical pixie cut and dark chestnut brown.  Lots of hair hit the floor.  Sometimes she is fearless with her look.  I need to remember that can translate into other fearlessness and why not in a good way??  I am only allowing positive thoughts!!!

She looks adorable.  To keep the look, she needs wax spray.  It’s a thing y’all.  And we bought some.  As I checked out what I heard was that’ll be $165.

Ehhh, what?  

Followed by $21.65 <insert look of J-Dub’s confusion>

Cuz what I heard again was $165

Ehhh what?  

Followed by $21.65 <insert, look of J-Dub’s understanding>

Oh thank goodness!!  Lulu was gonna have to melt some crayons for that wax.  Lol!

Of course, that is not all.  Why no.  I am on a roll.  As we drive along, the song Attention by Charlie Puth comes on.  I hear this song at least once a day five days a week.  I have no idea what the words are but I think they are weird.  The conversation goes something like this:

Me: What the hell is turtle on my knee?

Lulu: What do you mean?

Me: The song, (I sing) you’ve been running round, running round, running round throwing that turtle on my knee

Lulu: Turd all on my name (she did not say this, though it is what I heard)

Me: What is a turd all on my name mean?

Lulu:  Turd?  I said DIRT all on my name.  You know talking trash about someone. Trashing talking is an expression from your era right?

Me: Yea it is.  Well I guess he is not saying you just want to touch me

Lulu: The title mom, he is saying You just want attention.  I think you do too!

Me:  Lol!  Tis true I sure to DO!!!!

Take a listen peeps and tell me what you hear!   Attention by Charlie Puth   I picked a video that has the lyrics for ya.  You can thank me later 😉

As always more to come.

Getting My Steps In

Because We All Need A Little Levity, Music To My Ears

And so MUCH more!  All links are active.  Feel free to wander around this post at your leisure.  Enjoy!

This morning I left my phone at home when we went to Denny’s.  Partially on purpose in order to “Be Here Now” and have breakfast conversations with mi familia but also I simply forgot.  I am a creature of habit and when I fell asleep reading last night, I left my phone on the living room end table instead of the usual spot.

Well if you have read any of my prior posts, you know we always forget something at the grocery store.  This despite always having a list.  Since my first trip to the store was without a phone, I was unable to track my steps.  I told B and Lulu that this time I was taking my phone and before I picked up the aluminum foil (we are having BBQ chicken tonight YuM!) I was going to walk some laps.  You see almost two years ago, I was told I have osteopenia (precursor to osteoporosis) and I need to talk I mean I need to walk daily (Freudian slip).

After I parked the car at the opposite end of where I needed to be, I checked my step count.  24!  What the what? I said what but I didn’t say it twice ;).  I am branching out from my real vs. fake and it’s a BIG butt material in my schtick.

Well only 24 steps has to be because I do not have my phone attached to my hip.  No way is it because I am a couch potato who does nothing but read as I lounge.  Hey  the weekend calls for this indulgence y’all.

I make one lap of the store perimeter.  Then I go for lap two.  I pass the sports section and think “that’s what Billy and I need, a basketball hoop.  We can play H.O.R.S.E or D.O.G” You know D.O.G. just another version of H.O.R.S.E for when you don’t have time for 5 letters.

I keep on trucking past the toys and I see bicycles.  That’s what we need.  No we don’t, we’d break a leg or worse.  Now I am really moving, picking up speed.  55″ TV’s, Why not?  Well, because we  are going out on a limb to potentially purchase land.  And hey, why didn’t I see this stuff on my first round?

Still going, I blew right past the beer and wine.  Ain’t nobody got time for that. Well maybe make time for that?  Next, I detour up the aisle and I grab the foil.  I stop briefly and check my steps.  Looking good Mr. Kotter.  Then I think, this sucks.  Boring!  Am I right?  I have my phone but no ear buds and I didn’t want to disturb others.  But this needs something …

Well alrighty then.  To shake things up, I decide for maximum effect that walking up and down every aisle is better than perimeters laps.  More steps! And more variety!  But alas, as typical with me.  I should have quit while I was ahead.  Does anyone have any idea what treasures are contained within those aisles.  Scrap booking, sewing, home decor (maybe Tchotchke but still counts).   I gotta stop before I go overboard.  I pay for my foil and escape to the safety of my car.

The featured photo shows just how weird I am.  Why am I wearing black Sketchers with that non-matching dress?  Why did I even take a picture of the floor as I was walking along? Why do I use my blood donor bag instead of a purse? You can see it there in the corner.  And what is my aversion to purses anyway?  And good lord woman, shave your legs.

This version of J-Dub’s sham-a-lama ramble was brought to you by her worried and frenetic mind and Layla – Eric Clapton (acoustic)

As always, more to come.

Dinner Conversation With The Brain Trust

Because We All Need A Little Levity

And who is the brain trust you ask?

Mi familia.

Pony “I hate when someone says you can do anything you want if you just put your mind to it”

Wise “truth”

B “no kidding”

Lulu “I wanna rule the world, poof I am Queen”

Me “Wait a minute.  That’s not what people mean.  It’s more practice makes perfect.  Or if you really want something bad enough, you have to keep going until you get it”

Kids in Unison “Mom practice all you want and you still won’t be the next American Idol”

Me ” Of course not BUT only because that show was cancelled!”

LOL!!!!

As alway, more to come.

 

My tude needed adjusting

Because We All Need A Little Levity

Tude= attitude

I went to the Bill Milker’s drive through for supper as B is working in Utopia and I’m clueless in the kitchen.  I jest. He’s got all my recipes.  He’s just better at cooking than me.  Than I am. No time for  grammar police 👮 .

Anyhoo.  The bad tude started when I lost my dang data.  A day’s hard work.  I was online from 6:30ish until 5:30ish because I worked from home.  I had everything properly documented.  I’m sure I hit save.  Well as sure as I can be when I’m wrong.

B says that’s when I’m the most positive I’m right … when I’m the most wrong.

Anyhoo.  T man came over real quick to change our A/C filter.  B was prepping for the work he’s doing tomorrow to determine exactly where is our shower leaking.  That left me to grab the grub 😂

I look a frightful mess.  You’ve no idea but I was working … my ass off … at home!   Shower is leaking … did I tell ya?  Drive through was my best option.

I get there and no line! Thanks be!  I’m ordering for the picky people aka everyone but me.  Girl is adding items, deleting to correct.  No, I say again. Finally she asks “does everything look right on your screen?” 

Jackpot lottery!  But before she gives me a total and says drive up she says “we’re out of straws are you OK with that?” 

What?!?! Uh no!  I’m not!   Call another Bill Millers!  Or go across the street to Laguna Bills and get three straws for me!   Post haste!

I mean come on.  Why ask me that?  Say nothing or say we’re out of straws.  Don’t ask me if I’m ok with that.  I’m obviously not okay😂

I’m a B!!!!

I told her I was kidding.  Cuz I wuz.

When I got to the window I felt bad. She’s probably about Lulu’s age.  I flustered her and she tried to give me free brownies.

I almost said “We don’t need no stinking brownies.  What we’ve got here is failure to … deliver the straws”. 

Bonus score to anyone who reads this and can figure out which movies I’m referring to above.  Very loosely but still.

Anyhoo, at least she’s got a funny story to tell her family just like me!   B laughed.  Lulu is all MOM YOU DIDN’T!   I did.  Poor Bill Millers cashier caught me being persnickety.

Smoochy smoochy dear ones 💕. Wishing you a wonderful weekend.

As always more to come.