Category: Because We All Need A Little Levity

Always Gotta Look

Published on by J-Dub19 Comments

Backstory first … we had an order that was supposed to come today. This was part of a decent size purchase arriving in separate packages 📦. We got an email that said “delivered at 1:39 pm, left at front door”. Well the results are in Maury and that was a lie! I’d been in and out the front door 🚪 twice and nothing.

Of course it was 8:30 pm before I read the email. B and I did a sweep in case the package 📦 was dropped at a different door 🚪 . We texted our neighbors. Nothing.

I did an online “call me” to report and faster than a cheetah my phone is ringing. Francisco placed a reorder telling me not to worry about it. Two day FedEx on the house and the goods will be delivered Friday.

All is well. It’s about 9:00 pm. We’re chillin 😎 watching “Guy’s Grocery Games” when I get a notification on my iPad. B Dub, your package 📦 has been delivered … left at mail box. B doesn’t believe it until I show him the email. What a coincidence seeing as I just talked to Francisco.

We get the flashlight 🔦 and make the trek to the mailbox. B telling me to watch for snakes. Now is when they move. They’re hunting.

Uh lovely said no one ever. Also it was loud AF. Grasshoppers or crickets 🦗 B says it’s what the snakes are after. There were lizards 🦎 everywhere too. Quiet 🤫 but on the move. More snake food.

Sure enough two packages 📦📦 were tossed on top of the mailbox. The missing package supposedly delivered at 1:39 pm and the t-shirts which were coming separately.

Whew 😅. I’m tired 😴. Okay the always gotta look 👀 title will be explained. It was chosen for this …

Non poisonous ☠️ garter snake

All B could say was “I thought 💭 I heard a snake when we walked by the first time”. He was right.

As always more to come.

You Be The Judge

Published on by J-Dub23 Comments

Underwear or face mask?

It’s a gator

We suited up and took cupcakes to PoPo. B is also giving his dad the gift of free labor. While Lulu and I were inside with MoMo, the boys were tearing down the pool. She had to have that pool and they used it for only two seasons. Shame too but it’s become more trouble to keep up than it’s worth.

MoMo doesn’t wear masks in HER home. We do for her sake. She’s mainly social distancing and even skipped bunco last week. With our masks on, we still spread out six feet apart.

After a bit she asks: What’s on your face?

Me: A mask.

Her: That looks like your underwear. Do you want one of our masks?

Me: No thanks. I like my gator. B got a six pack and I took this one since it’d get ruined on the job.

Her: She didn’t say anything but gave me a look … the LOOK 👀

I’m laughing now. Kinda looks like underwear. Or maybe a slip or something. And Lulu’s mask is the one with the expletive @#!$& on it. Wonder what MoMo really thinks? Lol 🙂

As always more to come.

All Rose in Titanic

Published on by J-Dub8 Comments
Picture it … China Grove TX, May 7, 2020 noontime. I’m taking my walk doing my Rose from Titanic impression, arms outstretched walk as the wind blows back my hair as my heart will go on … I round the driveway curve and see a white van.
 
Dammit! A delivery and me without my mask. Who the eff keeps ordering things?!!??! Not me!! Sacribleu!! I sort of walk jog run in the opposite direction all Minny in the Help, running from Johnny, Celia’s husband. Worried because I taught her how to fry up a chicken and he can’t know that.
 
I swear I would have thrown groceries at the man, if I had them. Panic sets in as I mentally measure six feet apart muthafucker. Want some fire scarecrow? lol
 
But seriously dude where’s your mask?
 
He rolls down the window. I stop to listen as he yells from quite a distance …
 
“FedEx for pick up”.
 
Me: “they came by yesterday”.
 
Him: “FedEx?”
 
Me: “I hope so. For books right?
 
Him: “They told me to check”
 
Me: “Check what? Can’t you tell on your device? The other guy scanned them”
 
WTF. He drives away but stops at the spot in the road where I was when I first saw him. Not leaving. Dogs going nuts. I guess he was double checking but I just wanted him to go. Those damn books, the late fees are more than the original cost.
 
Inquiring minds wanna know, do I need 14 more days of quarantine?

Who’d Have Thunk It?

Published on by J-Dub5 Comments

Thunk isn’t a word … oh but it is she said

think/thought/thunk

Say that three x’s fast.

Though those in the know say think/thought/thought

I say thunk cause ya know thunk is way cooler.

And just what am I blathering about?  Blah, blah, blah.  Well I’m getting there.  Gimme a minute.  Landing a plane is hard ya know.  Speaking of landing planes, let’s take a flight on the cheap.  Because we can.  Prices are at an all time low.

Seriously Meredith Grey.  Though Jilly will stay put. Big baby!

My sonshine had a wedding to attend this weekend.  The event is happening right about now.  No cancellations but also a rather small less than 20 people affair.  How romantic and special!!  He and his buddy along with one other person went up Friday for rehearsal and are staying tonight too instead of driving back as was the original plan.  Why?  Well because they were able to secure a room at the Marriott for only $49 dollars a night.  Normally the room is $349 plus tax.  Can you dig it?  I knew that you could.

Still I sit and ponder with all this extra (same amount) of time on my hands.  What’s the true cost?  Will we ever really know?  Does it take a pandemic to find out? Are they just giving it away since $49 is better than $0?  I have often thought hotels make out like bandits.  Smoochy, smoochy said in my Jason Mews voice over voice.  The nice ones anyway.  They are bought and paid for I would think.  And sure there is upkeep but using my own home as an analogy, without a mortgage, we’re sitting pretty.  Maybe I should start renting out bought and paid for rooms?   Any takers?  Of course I hear the owner is a tad bit off her rocker.

Things that make you go hmmm.

As always, more to come.

Well Hello

Published on by J-Dub13 Comments

Look what happened this morning while I was out gallivanting around, getting my nails done and walking around window shopping?  I now have 1,000 followers!!  I cannot believe it.  Happy to achieve this milestone on day 544 of consecutive posting!!

If I knew it would not go dormant like all my other bright ideas, I’d create a category called “things one overhears … at the nail salon”.  Fun!  And here goes nothing.

Nail Tech: Be a nail tech and make no money, that’s how you keep them away.

Customer (not me):  Oh honey, not true.  Your personality and sense of humor is what will draw women to you.  I’d rather have someone with no money than a cheater.

2nd Customer (also not me): She’s right.  I was married 30 years when my Ex decided he wanted to be with someone else.  Two weeks later he was begging me to take him back.  I said no.  Best decision I ever made.

Customer (not me): See I hate that.  Is he still with her?

2nd Customer (also not me): No, he moved on to # three.

Then the Nail Tech proceeds to tell the group how we got it all wrong here in the states with how we celebrate Valentines Day … for the couples.  He says “other countries have something like Valentines Day that is for singles only.  You wear a certain color that shows you are ready to mingle.  We need that here so I can find somebody to love me.  Happy couples don’t need to be so greedy!!!”

Then Customer #1’s cell phone rings.  It’s her husband calling to see if she is ready.  He drops her off every other Saturday then goes to wash her car.  She says “come in here and meet these ladies”.  And he does, all stooped over.  I thought he was injured and she was the queen of her castle making him do for her.  She tells him, “oh Russell stand up straight you goof”.    He does, laughing and says “this is what a husband of 52 years looks like … worn out”.   As they parted, he gave us this advice for relationship happiness “never do anything, NEVER EVER! that saying I’m sorry can’t fix”.  And with that he whisked his beloved away.

As always, more to come.

Seriously Meredith Grey?

Published on by J-Dub7 Comments

WP just gave me the 9 day streak badge.  But I posted for #SLS this morning.  I guess since I scheduled #SLS they count the day that post was written?  Somehow they have changed my dangling carrot and I do not like it.  Not one bit!  Lol!!  So silly.  I am better now.  B really helped me this weekend, to see the error of my ways.  We’ve had so much fun starting with Friday night’s Pink in the Rink, yesterday’s shenanigans, and today’s Sunday Funday!!

Example badge …

img_5610
Rat bastards!!!!!! LOL

As always, more to come.

#QQ4U on This Super Bowl Sunday

Published on by J-Dub8 Comments
B and I got up at the b’crack of dawn to go shopping at HEB for the week’s goods plus Super Bowl extras, PoPo’s B-day and my almost 36 year service anniversary. Combo partying is not for the faint of heart!! I’ve already started.
 
I had a donut for breakfast with a Dr. Pepper Icee chaser so screw it! I am off the WW wagon for one day .. okay two days because yesterday the Original Donut Shop was right next to where I had my appointment. It would’ve been sacrilegious to NOT get something. Don ‘cha think?
 
Anyhoo. Back to the b’crack of dawn … I really wanted to wear my penguin pajama bottoms to HEB. B gave me his look so I changed into sweats. Close enough but not nearly as soft.  Comfort over style I always say.  
 
We arrive and as we are parking, a couple walks through the crosswalk, hand in hand wearing what? Well pajamas of course! Ha! “See” I tell him. “I think this has become socially acceptable”. B responds “no Jill, it has not”
 
Once inside the store, I began my count. Every time I saw another pair of pajama bottoms, I gave him my look which said “see pajamas”. I counted 7 if you include the 2 people we saw walking in, that we never saw again btw. I’m a child of the 70s, I dressed much more inappropriately back in the day.
So I have to ask WordPress friends, what’s your thoughts on wearing pajama bottoms as regularly pants?

Easily Amused

Published on by J-Dub5 Comments

I got a new book Saturday. I mentioned to B that I expect him to be around while I’m reading because the book is very scary. So much so that it’s says to read it with the lights on. In typical B fashion he asks me “well how else are you supposed to read it? In the dark?” Cracked me right up. Yep I’ll be reading in the dark. Duh 🙄

Proof this is part of the liner …

I’m not scared … yet.

As always more to come.