See if he notices 

Because We All Need A Little Levity

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A SaturDAY in the Life

Because We All Need A Little Levity

The Beatles ~

Woke up, fell out of bed, 
Dragged a comb across my head 
Found my way downstairs and drank a cup, 
Looking up I noticed I was late.

I had every intention of leaving the house at 9:30 this morning to go to the Shops at the Quarry.  Specific places I planned to visit – Amy’s Hallmark and Bed Bath and Beyond.  After those quick errands, I was going to North Star Mall to walk laps until I hit 10,000 steps.

Note to self – do not go to Amy’s Hallmark when you are in a maudlin mood.

Actually I was not maudlin until I got there.  My coffee was not of the Irish variety.  Damn you keepsake memories.  I was a deer in the headlights.  I wanted it all and I wanted none of it.  Oxymoronic.  I left with one small tchotchke for Lulu.

To get my steps in, I walked over to Bed Bath and Beyond.  Those who know the Quarry layout those two stores are close.  To drive and park closer would have been ludicrous.  I have been know to be that silly before but it was early and still cool.

Note to self – do not go to Bed Bath and Beyond … ever

All I needed was a new shower gel cush.  I had already planned to window shop and take a few laps to increase my step count. Sweet Mother of Pearl.  I was in for sensory overload.  They had coasters y’all.  I was going to by some.  I do not need any but I had to look.  Then I passed this little guy and he spoke to me.

Some such nonsense … hey you there … how dare you walk past me … and it was his duty to save the store.  Bull hockey Spidey – bug off you bugger.  I think I like him better with the sensor over his mouth.  Shut your pie hole!  lol.

Of course I have to smell all the smelly stuff.

I probably should have bought one or the other of the following cuz my back hurts y’all.  And I sit all day.  $39.99 for the pain relief butt coaster or $79.99 for the extreme seat cushion.  Oh hell no.  I’ll make my own.

Oh and what about this … I am on a health kick after all.

IMG_3185

Or something from the ever-loving wall of As Seen On TV Crap.

If I had purchased the baseboard buddy, I would have gone on a frenetic cleaning spree.  I just know it! Don’t nobody want that.  I have too many other compulsions to deal with.

Now for the piece de resistance.  See my feature photo would ya?  I could have walked 203 more steps but and it’s a big BUTT.  It’s the principle of the thing.  If I shatter all my records now, I will have nothing to work towards.

Tomorrow is another day folks!

 

 

 

My Million Dollar Kitties

Because We All Need A Little Levity

If you’re looking for smut, move along.  Lol!  Just kidding.

Wait, what do you mean J-Dub?  There is smut ahead?  Nope, just musing and rambling.

Taking pictures is one of my most favorite things, along with reading, writing, and generally observing.  Yesterday the conversation went something like this:

Pony: Mother, are you using your phone to take pictures of my personal belongings?

Me: Maybe.

Pony: I am not signing a release and why are you doing that?

B: Oh, she does that now; she takes pictures with her damn phone … of everything.  Everywhere … even at HEB.  For her blog mostly.

Pony: You’re still blogging?  Hmmm.  One day maybe I will take a look.

Me: You should, but fair warning, you’ll find out I am crazy.

(Side bar to the convo – don’t be all hating my word choice.  I kind of like using the term crazy.  Smash the stigma.  Plus I am only speaking about me.  In this case, I mean crazy … like a fox! And that my friends is a good thing)

Pony: Find out? I already know.  Oh and by the way, I charge for animal pictures.  I need the money.  Did I tell you what happened with the cats? They cost us a bunch recently.

Me: No, what happened?

Pony: The apartment complex management found out about the cats.  They charged us the pet deposit and then retroactively for two years we’ve lived here.  $2600 and $100 more a month going forward.

B: Why didn’t you tell them you just got the cats?  How would they know otherwise?

Pony (chuckles): What? You wanted us to lie? Maybe say we were going to tell you … Hmmm, I guess we should have done that but naw.

B: I don’t want you to lie but you were kind of doing that already anyway.

Pony: Oh well, we got caught, gotta pay the piper don’t we?  Tom-tom the piper’s son stole a pig and away he run.  You know like you guys taught me … the nursery rhyme and to take responsibility!

Later that day I overheard them talking … finally an idea for what to get her … a “real” camera … for either Christmas or her birthday. Me I am thinking any camera money needs to go toward paying off the credit card used to save my million dollar grand kitties.

Noctural on the left and Hallows Baby Kitty on the right.
They look like twins but they aren’t.
Which is why I am forever asking … which one is she??????

 

What Would Anne Think Of My Mints and Peas

Because We All Need A Little Levity

B: What did you say?

Me: What do you think Anne would think of my mints and peas?

B: You mean mise en place?

Me: Sounds like mints and peas but yep 🙂

B: Not too shabby

And the Anne we speak of is Anne Burrell of course.  Worst Cooks in America and other cooking shows fame.  The breakfast of champions – made to order omelets.  I can already tell it is going to be a good day!!!

The road to hell is paved with good intentions 

Because We All Need A Little Levity

And why would I put this in the levity? I feel a sarc fest coming on.  Sarc is short for sarcasm.  I might even create a new category: Sarc-a-licious.  You know instead of booty-licious. I can’t really take myself seriously when I get this way.  Instead I’m lmao😆

I found this bookmark. It’s at least 17 years old. This was employee empowerment before the buzzword came around. Empowerment is no longer a buzzword because things change on a continual loop.  I purposely said loop because it’s not always linear.  You say zig, I say zag. 

  Sheldon Cooper says bazinga!!!!

In case it’s too small to read, the bookmark says: Be a leader! Everyone can be a leader, even if you only lead yourself.  

And to close, what’s up bitches? I’m leading myself somewhere.  The where remains to be seen.  

As always more to come.  

Unsweet Sweets 

Because We All Need A Little Levity

Last week we got a jumbo bag of carrots 🥕.  We didn’t need that many carrots but that’s the only size they had.  Yes jumbo is a new term in produce.  Size right after big and just below ginormous 😆

I know, don’t quit my day job. 

Because my dearly departed parents raised me to waste not want not I had to find a way to use these carrots before they went south. I found a recipe for healthy carrot muffins.  I’ve noticed healthy just means more steps to prepare. 

Shredding carrots was a joy.  Not kidding.  Okay kidding.  Melting coconut oil is so fun.  Not fun.  B comes in and I’m in a swirl of flour. He says “that’s  a lot of work for 12 muffins”. I get him to chop the walnuts for me as I flour the raisins.  Flouring raisins keeps them from sticking.  Who knew?!??


Yummy.  Notice only seven are left.  And there are two of us. One of us ate four and I’m not saying who.  Okay you twisted my arm … it was me.  I guess I defeated the purpose of healthy eating. 

No sugar was used in the making of these muffins.  Unless you count the maple syrup.  No sugar has to count for something.  Uh maybe.  

As always more to come. 

Moved over FB ~ Life is a Bowl of Cherries 🍒 Happy 30

Because We All Need A Little Levity

And the conversation on the job site went something like this …

N aka Army “nice you and Jill been together so long”

B “yes, 30 years today”New Kid “impossible”

B “why because I look so young?”

New Kid “no man, you look old. Impossible to be with only one woman”

B said nothing 

New Kid “look at me, I ain’t even 30. I am 28 years old and I already had two wives and several girlfriends” 😳

Oh my, what a winner
… and they said it wouldn’t last. Actually no one ever said that to us directly… though I am sure several thought it because we were asked many times “are you sure? You’re so young”. I am here to tell you that age has nothing to do with it. I wish I could figure out why we beat the odds. I’m just forever grateful that we did.
So what were you doing 30 years ago today? We were at the La Vernia Chamber of Commerce Hall dancing the night away. Young and in love. Dreams really do come true!