Friday Free For All ~ 1/27/23

Sticking to my two-a-day workouts for January mind bending experiences, I’m rambling nonsense. Where are my bee pictures? I’m saving WP real estate & my media is 80% full. Guess the bee pictures will have to stay in FB land.

I worked for a boss once upon a time who had a peach orchard as a side gig. He knew first hand the importance of bees. When people would say You catch more flies with honey, he’d respond Nope! you catch more BEES.

The Texas Department of Health & Human Services are bees in my opinion. Stinging lil bastards. I could tell you all my trials and tribulations but it takes too long. Short story, today’s follow up to obtain personal records to which I am entitled ended up with me being hung up on twice & then an escalated complaint to the Ombudsman’s Office. OO bite me!

The last time we had this situation, B helped me. Pretty sure I wrote about it too but I cannot find the post. Today I told him, you need to leave this room. LOL

Nothing ventured, nothing gained. I may need to take a road trip to m*therf**cking Austin. How much you wanna bet that the people who are responsible to answer my inquiry work in a call center in Cleveland? C’mon, let’s make a pool. What are the odds that little Jilly would drive all the way to Austin for nada? Except to be arrested for trespassing on government property. Guess I should get an attorney on speed dial.

Seriously, I won’t do anything of the sort. I’m a little yappy dog who just yaps away. The mo-fos.

And with that happy FriYay!

As always, more to come.

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Friday Free For All ~ 12/23/22

Lulu & I made an early morning run for specialty doughnuts from Voodoo Doughnut who just opened a new store in downtown SA. People have taken bets that the store will close in less than a year. Not because of the product mind you which appears to be a booming business amid all the other pastry palaces. The reason is every prior business on that corner has gone the way of the dino. Location, location, location …

The paid & general lack of parking will keep locals away but maybe the out of town crowd foot traffic will sustain them. Our method was to order online, go early on a holiday week, me act like a taxi on the N Presa side street, flashers on while Lulu did a mad dash. We were there @ 30 minutes ahead of our order but they don’t package until 20 minutes til for optimum freshness. They had to do some computer stuff to move the order ahead but all in all, we made good time. Then we took the long way home to see the beautiful holiday lights along the Riverwalk.

Speaking of holidays, they suck. Well not for everyone but for enough of us. I read something online suggesting to wish people a gentle holiday instead of happy or joyful one. Too much pressure & toxic positivity aka denial that these days may not be happy at all. What better way to commemorate the reason for the season than through gentleness & grace. My skip level boss replied that my wish to him for a gentle holiday had to be the nicest thing anyone ever said to him. Awww and that response made my day!

I was tearing about on my b-day about the light metaphorical fuses to blow things up. I stopped myself thank goodness. “Fuck ’em” I say instead. They are not going to ruin my peace. The mofo’s don’t even realize they’re being awful anyway. And if they do realize & are purposefully being bad humans, well then I don’t want a relationship with them anyway. Alrighty, I have to get to work. Tschüss until tomorrow.

As always, more to come.

Friday Free For All ~ 12/2/22

Ugh 😩. Yesterday’s second opinion or make that 99th opinion went horribly. I’ve skipped what led to this part not wanting to whine. No pain relief 😮‍💨 No closer to an answer. The stress is killing me before whatever this is will. Not a soul in the office besides staff & me yet I waited an hour! Only to be given a tut tut, you need to take medicine. And not just any medicine but a highly addictive opioid.

Doc tells me they know so my much now. That this dose is the smallest. It’s safer than OTC anti inflammatory because it won’t hurt my kidneys. In addition to the opioid, I’m prescribed muscle relaxers. For what? Can anyone tell me that? Nope they can’t. I’m so defeated 😔.

Icing on the cake, my car, which I just got out of the shop, smells like something is burning. That can’t be good. Back to the shop it goes. Ugh 😩

Peace Out. Until next time.

As always more to come.

Friday Frolic & the Unexpected Driver ~ 11/18/22

Ashanti was my unexpected driver this morning. I planned to wait for my car but apparently Cavender won’t conduct diagnostics for someone waiting. They are so backed up that they’re only doing diagnostics drop off with 2-3 day turnaround times. Thank goodness I’m on vacation. The convo went something like this …

  • Me: When I made the appointment, there was no message about this, I planned to wait. I have no way to get home.
  • Cavender Employee: Ya our online system isn’t the best. That was supposed to be fixed by now. We’ll just get you an Uber.
  • Me: Good luck with that, I’ve tried. We live out in the boonies.
  • Cavender Employee (as she is ordering an Uber on her phone): Let’s try. Oh look he’ll be here in less than 5 minutes.
  • Me (surprised): Then I Uber back? And who pays for that?
  • Cavender Employee: We do.

New convo started in less than 5 minutes as promised …

  • Me: Can I ride in front, I get car sick.
  • Ashanti: Whatever makes you comfortable.
  • Me: You know where we’re going right? Am I in your service area?
  • Ashanti: This is what I do, drive.
  • Me: Uber wouldn’t come out to where I live before so just making sure.
  • Ashanti: What? they cancelled on you?
  • Me: Yep
  • Ashanti: Naw, that ain’t right. Get in, we’re going.

Fellow San Antonians know how far a drive it is from 1604 & 281 to China Grove and in rush hour no less. With an accident on 35 North to slow us down. Still this ride was fun, maybe the highlight of my day.

We talked the entire time. He’s originally from Atlanta, lives in Houston but is in San Antonio for his show tomorrow night. Plus he used to live here, still has family here & Thanksgiving is next week so he is staying over. College graduate, who does taxes for his main gig & wants to open his office next year. But basically a jack of all trades, trying to break into the music business too. I told him how I was supposed to be in Chicago today but plans changed. Maybe in April or May.

Our conversation was all over the place … ice skating, roller skating, taking chances, baseball, basketball, school uniforms, metal detectors, & clear backpacks. Game of Thrones, Breaking Bad, Better Call Saul, or the Sopranos? Things to do if I ever get to Atlanta. Very interesting & entertaining. I love this kid, his generation is our future. So bright, let me grab my shades.

Alrighty, carry on with your bad selves. I’m forced into relaxation since my wheels have been taken away. Wishing all who happen to stumble upon this post a fantastic Friday!

As always, more to come.

Something is Wonky, Probably User in Seat (UIS) Error ~ 10/18/22

I swear I posted my apple haiku yesterday. I even got comments. Then just now I see my apple haiku in drafts with a note ‘local changes’. I published again & now today’s date shows instead of 10/17/22. Guess this is what happens when I jump around between multiple devices. I’m trying to stay exclusive to my phone but see how well that worked out for me. Now I have republished & duplicated multiple drafts with the same ‘local changes’ message. Probably time to clean out the draft bin anyway.

Oh and on a side note, lil Jilly is getting invisalign. Supposedly this will help with my headaches. I’m willing to try anything at this point. As I hemmed and hawed, “I’m too old” … the ortho asked “Are your parents alive?” Nope … oh wait … Maybe? I’m a dork. I know I am. Then he asks “how much longer do you plan to live?” Forever sir!! Lil Jilly plans to live forever!! His point was that I have another 30 years left & that I wasn’t too old for “braces” after all this time. It’s always something said in my Roseanne Roseannadanna voice over voice. I’m falling apart, literally. Pain management assessment is tomorrow. This maintenance stuff is never-ending. Oy vey!

As always, more to come.

Tuesday Extra ~ 8/23/22

Ockham’s razor (also spelled Occam’s razor, pronounced AHK-uhmz RAY-zuhr) is the idea that, in trying to understand something, getting unnecessary information out of the way is the fastest way to the truth or to the best explanation.

I thought Occam’s razor meant the simplest of all competing hypotheses was true. Maybe the above definition means the same. Cut the fluff. I’m over here today making stuff up! The opposite of fluff cutting. Oh behave. I need to stop this nonsense. In the immortal words of Styx, I’ve got too much time on my hands.

Last day of my short vacation that I’d previously decided to waste in bed. This rainy day is the best for that kind of thing. But in between all this lounging, I overthink. Ugh 😑

Maybe I can channel this angst into my next short story. I got the dreaded rejection from my last submission but one of the panel members said if I had more poetry samples to send them! Of course now I’m blocked. I couldn’t write another haiku right now if my life depended on it. Oh well pretty sure there’s some trash TV calling my name.

As always more to come.

Friday Filler ~ 8/12/22

I still haven’t settled on a feature so I’m using filler instead. I didn’t finish another book but if I get going, I could bring back Book Club. I really enjoy reading but lately I have the attention span of a gnat. Guess I’ll release the hounds. My worries in no particular order …

  • Losing my job. There were layoffs this week. Our area is already lean whatever that means but seeing your brethren get the ax is a mind fuck. Sorry 😢 it just is 🥹.
  • If I lose my job, I lose my health insurance & those mofos just approved me for six more sessions. I can’t afford physical therapy without insurance. I’m not better yet anyway. I need to find out what ails me.
  • My mother in law was sent home from rehab before she was ready. She was barely mobile & in one week, she has fallen three times. B rushes over to lift her back up but he can’t stop his life waiting for her to fall again so he can go rush to her aid. The social worker was supposed to arrange in home care prior to releasing her but that wasn’t done. Their housekeeper who worked part time in a nursing home is helping but she’s not equipped for this. They’re living in hell over there.
  • PoPo wants to change his will. WTF 😳 to leave everything to B without exception. That means cutting out his only brother’s kids. They should get their dad’s 1/2 imo. Not sure where this desire to change is coming from.

There’s more too but that’s enough for now. Except to thank those in my alt Twitter cohort. We are strong as steel. Able to face the storm ⛈ . To end positively, we got another thunderstorm yesterday. Still at a deficit 💸 but every drop helps 💕

As always more to come.

Friday Feelings ~ 7/15/22

A firestorm of Friday feelings ready for a word vomit 🤢 in no particular order. Bittersweet first. Today is Grandma Tutu’s heavenly birthday 🥳 She was the glue that held the family together. We miss her deeply.

Next B’s mom was moved from the hospital to rehab for post stroke physical therapy. You’d think 🤔 that’s an upgrade but it’s not. Last time, she had PoPo help her leave rehab AMA = against medical advice. The difference this time is she’s not mentally competent enough to resist. He’s so worried though 😟 and keeps saying they need to bring her home 🏡. That would be a disaster.

Last for today, my coworker learned he has liver cancer. Liver was the Wordle answer yesterday. So weird. Means nothing but I’m superstitious so I mention it. Anyway this guy is already showing signs of greatness. The kind of person who despite his illness is more concerned about helping others. Reminds me of my brother in law, who upon learning he had incurable pancreatic cancer, asked people to pay it forward in his name.

My coworker’s PSA was about being your own health care advocate in search of answers. He was searching for months and now it’s too late. Incurable. Had they figured some things out earlier, prognosis would be better. My Mamaw died of liver cancer. Diagnosed in July 1987, dead by October 1987. Hoping treatment has improved to make his time left comfortable ❤️‍🩹 And of course I worry. I’m still looking for answers to cure for what ails me. Not that I think I have liver cancer just that I don’t want to be in that same position of finally finding something when it’s too late.

Sad way to end this work week. I’ll be looking for ways to do good. To do what I can, to make things better.

As always more to come.

Nervous Nelly ~ 7/9/22

I used to fancy myself as a intuitive person, dare I say someone who had ESP. I have examples of times where I predicted things before they happened. Of course mostly it was luck. Or maybe a bit of educated guessing.

These predictions would always start with the butterflies. That unsettling feeling. That tingle that won’t quit. And I have that today. Right at this moment. Which is why I come here to release the anxiety.

My nerves are like spurs that jingle jangle jingle. If that makes any sense? I have the feeling of foreboding doom. I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop.

B’s mom has been in the hospital for a week. Sadly she rolled out of bed, hit her head on the nightstand, had to be put back into bed, but knowing that something wasn’t quite right, EMS was summoned. At first they wanted B to follow the ambulance because they were sure she would not be admitted. Taking her was just a precaution (or to avoid malpractice). However after a day and a half in the ER, waiting for a bed to open up, she was finally admitted.

At first it was a bit like the Keystone cops. Everyone was running into each other. Figuratively not literally. I think there were four or five different telephone numbers given out because of the room situation. And while she had her cell phone, it was likely out of battery and even if the was charged she has to this day no clue how to use it.

Can you imagine being in the hospital alone, not really understanding anything, with your husband and son frantically trying to get a hold of you? They couldn’t even get a status. Until yesterday that is. Diagnosis: She has been having mini strokes for quite some time. The fall gave her a concussion. She has a very large bruise from where she fell as well to the point where she’s insisting she broke her arm when she didn’t. She is in and out of lucidity. The dementia has been coming on for quite some time. Some of her prior episodes were thought to be reactions to medicine. But now the doctors think it was the strokes all along. Her MRI is showing the evidence.

On Thursday, she turned 79. Too young for this stuff to already be happening. But life choices, had other ideas. Sadly and quite honestly the dirty laundry is that even 20 years ago little Lulu remembers her Grandma drinking her bubbly at 9 o’clock in the morning. And continuing throughout the days upon days upon days. Maybe that’s something I should’ve kept quiet about it. Nope, this calls for honesty, it is what it is, and maybe her story can be a PSA to others. In hindsight, I have to wonder, if we had said something sooner, would she have tried to stop? Not that it matters really because we can’t re-create the past. Time to move forward.

B & Pony are at the place in Rocksprings today. They almost stayed home because you know his mom/grandma is in the hospital. But B decided to go since there isn’t anything he can do but wait. He might as well work/keep busy. And I sit here nervous, worried to pieces that we will get the call while he is gone.

Alrighty folks. Let me let you go. I’m gonna walk this off. I have found that movement can be a cure to what ails you

As always, more to come

Friday 🐏 💍 ~ 7/1/22

Stranger Things dropped today! Ooh 😮 can’t wait! But alas I must be patient because life is happening. We’re planning to binge watch on Sunday and Monday though.

I’m powering through. Overthinking as usual. In a tremendous amount of physical pain. I’m wondering 💭 if the mental is once again causing the gut twist. My referral was delayed until 7/12. Ugh 😩. But all isn’t lost 😞. My friend GG helped me without even realizing. How? He shared a story about identical twins.

Paraphrasing, these boys were raised by an abusive father. Horrifying man. Sparing the gory details but overall very extreme.

When they grew up, one twin became a carbon copy of dear ole padre. The other twin became the polar opposite. They were interviewed and asked what’s your strongest influence in becoming who you are today? Can you guess their responses? Same! Daddy dearest.

So you see, we do have some sense of control. How we react to certain situations makes us or breaks us. I’m not only a product of my nature. Nurture has a place.

Maybe 🤔 like anything else, absolutes are rarely true. Not always or never 👎 Instead it depends. Mind blowing huh?

Okay 👌🏽. I’m trying to make myself feel better ❤️‍🩹. Surprisingly I feel strong 💪🏻. First time for everything.

Alright folks, that’s all she wrote.

As always more to come.