#JusJoJan & #SoCS ~1/28/23

Linda writes & I copy paste: Your prompt for #JusJoJan the 28th and Stream of Consciousness Saturday is: “throw in the towel.” Use the phrase “throw in the towel” somewhere in your post. Enjoy! WoW 😮, the final #JusJoJan & #SoCS of 2023 is here. Blink & 1/12 of 2023 will be in books.

Throw in the towel isn’t in my vocabulary. I’m a dog with a bone. Ruff ruff 🐶. I can’t remember ever quitting anything. I do remember continuing on through the sludge when I probably should’ve quit. Ugh 😑 And that’s all she wrote.

Join you if you can. HERE are the rules and ping back. Hope everyone has a sensational Saturday.

As always more to come.

Advertisement

#JusJoJan ~ 1/27/23

Linda says Your prompt for JusJoJan January 27th 2023, is “amenities.” Use the word “amenities” any way you’d like. Have fun! Kim provides the word of the day. Woo hoo! Visit Kim’s blog to read her posts and say hello. And follow her while you’re there. HERE are the rules & ping back.

Well alrighty. Amenities. I’m a snob. I want the spa in the hotel I stay in, with room service, a swimming pool, and stunning views. When I was growing up we vacationed pulling a travel trailer behind our Ford station wagon with a way, way back. Sometimes the KOA campgrounds had fantastic amenities & other times just running water.

Little bratty Jilly would say “when I grow up & have my family, we’re staying in hotels”. Then as an adult, I realized the price point, camping was way more affordable. Plus the important part was the places we were seeing & experiences we were living. Big Bend, Grand Canyon, Yellowstone, Pikes Peak, the Royal Gorge, Carlsbad Caverns. Indeed, I had/have a charmed life. Where we slept at night was secondary.

One year I remember going to California with just the station wagon & staying at motels. This was a smaller family trip since my two of my older brothers were working & did not come with us. I had just got my license so my dad & I split the time driving. When you’re going IH 10 west, after you get out of Texas, it is flat and straight with little traffic for much of the way. The allure wore off real quick. One year we took the train from San Antonio to Santa Barbara then rented a van to drive to Lompoc. The amenities on the train were seriously lacking but the experience is one I treasure to this day.

As always, more to come.

#JusJoJan ~ 1/26/23

Thank you fine people of bloglandia. I couldn’t be more pleased. It was my honor to be nominated …

Oh wait! I won?

Well, if having your word of the day featured then yes, Jilly you won!

FAMILY

My family is my ❤ My definition of family is expanded given my life experiences, it is not traditional or linear. Taking it up several levels, humans are my family. That means you who are reading this post. Right now. You’re family. Hi Mom! LOL.

Ya, that’s extreme maybe but I feel what I feel. After 58 years on this planet, I haven’t quite figured out how to tamper those feelings. Sensitive, look it up in the dictionary & you’ll see a picture of lil Jilly.

I found more family recently. Well not recently, over a year ago in December of 2021. On my freaking birthday. That has me in a tailspin and I failed dismally. I want a ‘do-over’. I keep thinking if only I had approached the situation differently, I’d get that unconditional love we all crave. Hence my attachment to my dogs, they love me like I hung the moon, without any conditions whatsoever.

Despite my failing, I’ve come to some conclusions that have helped me grow. DNA without experience does not make an automatic family. Sometimes friends & non-blood relatives are more like family. I cannot make people like me just because the same blood flows through our veins.

If the situation was reversed, I’d be 100% all in no questions asked. If my parents were alive, they would be leading the charge for reunion. But, and it’s a big but, the situation is not reversed & everyone is entitled to their own opinions. I’d be a hypocrite to say otherwise.

Damn that hurts to say it out loud. I have to accept their lack of response to my awkward attempts to connect which feels like indifference to my existence. At least I quit saying I think they hate me because truly how can you hate someone you don’t even know? I may not like these terms we’ve come to but I have no choice but to accept that ‘it is what it is’. I cannot force myself in where I do not belong. And on a positive note, I now have an Auntie who has accepted me sight unseen. Without her, I truly think I might go right over the edge.

I’ll let you in on a little secret. I really just want one conversation with those non-responders, to ask some questions that I was unable to answer in my genealogical research. Then I could move along. Or more accurately, I want a relationship but time for that is short. I accept that others don’t feel the same. Of course, I’m told by a few souls who I have confided in that it’s not over until it is over. Expect nothing but never lose hope. Thank you fictional Charlie & George Reade.

Closing with a quote The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb”. You see blood is thicker than water doesn’t mean your blood kin will accept you. It means that warriors who do battle together (blood of the covenant) are closer than brothers & sisters (water of the womb) who do not experience war. Any soldier will confirm this is fact. Band of Brothers. And while I am not a soldier & have never been to battle, life can be that way. Not the same mind you, not even close but experience counts for a lot. So to my family who I grew up with, thank you for everything. I love you more than words can say. You’re stuck with me no matter what.

Written for Daily Prompt #JusJoJan the 26th 2023. HERE are the rules & ping back.

As always, more to come.

#JusJoJan & #1linerWeds. 1/25/23

I wish I had a “how I know” method to measure my activity too. Self care coloring is the best & it’s now new. When I was a kid & the 64 count color box was the best present on the planet, my sister-in-law would sit down & color with me & my niece. We’re talking 45 plus years ago. Awww. I have not thought about that in years. I can picture us sitting around the table at their lake house, placemats pushed to the side. Each had our own coloring book. Talking, laughing, living in the moment without a care in the world. My niece recently turned 51! But Wait! I’m only 39. How does that happen ??!? It doesn’t. Ha-Ha.

Written for One-Liner Wednesday & #JusJoJan the 25th, 2023 – How I know. HERE are the rules & ping back.

As always, more to come.

#JusJoJan ~ 1/24/23

Linda says Your prompt for JusJoJan January 24th 2023, is “ideal.” Use the word “ideal” any way you’d like. Have fun! Astrid provides the word, woo hoo! Visit Astrid’s blog to read her posts and say hello. HERE are the rules & ping back.

Ideal is a pretty high bar to reach since the synonym for ideal is perfection. If only, …

Short & sweet today, just a jot. I’m off to the orthodontist. I’m officially 1/3 of the way through my treatment. Getting out of these Invisalign trays will be ideal.

As always, more to come.

#JusJoJan ~ 1/23/23

Linda says Your prompt for JusJoJan January 23rd 2023, is “paintbrush.” Use the word “paintbrush” any way you’d like. Enjoy! Paula provided the prompt word. Woo Hoo! Visit Paula’s blog to read her posts and say hello.

I’m not all that artistic but I do love to paint. By numbers. Remember those? Wonder if they still have them. Need to check out Michael’s craft store next time I’m there.

Having the right type of paintbrush makes all the difference & would allow me to paint beautiful scenes. Or so I tell myself. Stretching the truth just a bit huh? Well sort of. Pretty sure the type of paintbrush used matters to those who know. Otherwise they wouldn’t have a bazillion choices.

Our Lulu paints for relaxation. She’s really pretty good at it. I wish we had inspired her to take an artistic track for her life’s work. She even says sometimes that she wishes could use her creative juices to make a living. I guess though if she really wanted it, she’d figure out how to do it. The cliche of you can be anything you set your mind to. Ha! I’ll never be a dancer and could practice hours a day to become only marginally better. Quick question, even if I’m not good at it, am I still a dancer if I dance all over the place like in line at the Starbucks counter this morning? Sure, I’m a dancer, just not a very good professional one.

This is getting too deep. Heavy for a Monday. And how the heck did paintbrush turn into Jilly’s failed dream of being a ballerina? Oh behave. Guess I’ll quit while I’m ahead.

As always, more to come.

#JusJoJan~1/22/23

Linda says Your prompt for JusJoJan January 22nd 2023, is “seasonal.” Use the word “seasonal” any way you’d like. Have fun! Kaye supplied the prompt word. Visit Kaye’s blog to read her posts and say hello. HERE are the rules and ping back.

Seasonal allergies 🤧 is all I can think of. But much better is seasonal artisanal coffee. I’ve returned to the mothership. Yep that’s what we call home office. Since then, my Starbucks addiction is back in full force. And with my Invisalign, I’m not even supposed to drink coffee. But I time my guilty pleasure for Mondays only since Tuesdays I get new trays. That’s how I justify it anyway.

Pumpkin spice latte isn’t my jam. This season, they introduced Apple oat milk macchiato. In honor of family who worked in the apple orchards of Chelan, WA, that became my go to drink. But it was seasonal so it’s gone. 😒 Replaced by pistachio latte which is close but so cigar. Anyway, that’s all she wrote until new time.

As always more to come.

#JusJoJan & #SoCS ~ 1/21/23

Linda says, Your prompt for #JusJoJan the 21st and Stream of Consciousness Saturday is: “count on it.” Use the phrase “count on it” somewhere in your post. Enjoy! HERE are the rules and ping back.

Uh 🙄 oh. Ear 👂 worm 🐛 alerts. Resistance is futile but resist I must! So many songs out there have a “you can count on it” theme or is it a “you can count on me?” Tuh-mA-toe or Ta-mah-toe. Gibberish 😂

Maybe it’s really “you’ve got a friend in me”. Ugh 😩. Toy Story and Randy Newman can bite me. Doh! Why so salty Jilly? Listen to the lyrics, you’ll feel so much better.

But you read the prompt wrong. It’s simply “count on IT!” Not ME. Take 2 🎬 & another video. This is pretty 🤩 cool 😎.

I love choirs and singing in one! Music 🎼 the ultimate therapeutic. You can count on it.

I’ll close with a gratitude. Yesterday was horrible. Not gonna lie. Effing bureaucrats. B heard me on the phone through a closed door. He came in when the call ended and asked if I got things taken care of.

Me: You heard me?

B: Yes, are you okay?

Me: the dam burst 💥 & through tears 😭 I told him everything.

I’m grateful 🥹 for my husband who loves me unconditionally. I’d been trying to do things alone. When I’m not alone. I forget that sometimes. Shame on me. Misdirected energy at the mofos. I’m going to do something about that soon. You can count on it.

As always more to come.

#JusJoJan ~ 1/20/23

Linda says “Your prompt for JusJoJan January 20th 2023, is “phantom.” Use the word “phantom” any way you’d like. Have fun!” Tuba provided the word! Woo Hoo! Visit Tuba’s blog to read her posts and say hello.

Phantom, I feel like a phantom or a big ole ghost which is another word for a phantom if you’re wondering. Well Duh Jilly. I am a ghost child, now a grown woman but still missing. Untethered to this world. I probably should wait to write this post as raw as I am at the moment. I’m so tired y’all. Yep, I got nothing. Well except this, … be kind.

As always, more to come.

#JusJoJan ~ 1/19/23

Linda says, “Your prompt for JusJoJan January 19th 2023, is “complaint.” Use the word “complaint” any way you’d like. Have fun!” John supplied the word of the day, woo hoo! Visit John’s blog to read his posts and say hello. HERE are the rules & ping back.

Complaint

ugh

That brings back memories of 2020 when I took on a new role at work to oversee regulatory complaints. Now you see why I say Ugh 😦 What I found is when you work in complaints everything is a complaint. Sort of like when you have a hammer, everything you see is a nail. People are fickle & what gets people spun up varies widely. Why complain? Just deal my dudes, just deal. These days I rarely complain. Ok, those in the back, I can hear you laughing. Or better said, I’m getting better at listening. I listen, then do what I want or what makes me happy. Ha!

As always, more to come.