#JusJoJan 2023 Reflections ~ 2/3/23

LINK back to the lovely Linda G Hill.

A Sunday Poser or Cranny question recently was <has anyone saved your life & not known it?> I’m paraphrasing but the question was something like that. I answered YES!!!!!!! I’m very lucky that way & oh so super grateful for my support system.

I was thinking of my husband, B when I responded so quickly but today I realize that he’s one of many life savers. Blogging saved my life. Seriously. From filling the empty nest to now when my life is full. Linda has been a constant in my time here on WordPress with #JusJoJan, #1linerWeds., and #SoCS.

The 2023 #JusJoJan was therapeutic. Specifically this POST with prompt word FAMILY. Not because it was my word but rather because in short order, after I wrote those words, things have changed on the found family front. I’m acting a fool, not knowing what to do. Be careful what you wish for is the most apropos phrase I can think of. Life, it’s complicated.

I’ll probably write more on that subject later. Not probably, I WILL write more on that subject later. You can be sure of it.

As always, more to come.

#JusJoJan ~ 1/31/23

Linda writes & I copy paste Your prompt for JusJoJan January 31st 2023, is “write.” Use the word “write” any way you’d like. Have fun! You see what I just did there 😂. We shall indeed end with a flourish. HERE are the rules and ping back. Join us if you can.

The pen is mightier than the sword. Well howdy people 🤠. I believe that is true. From lived experience. Only it took me a while to realize it and I might forget again.

Just what the heck am I talking about? Writing ✍️ has saved my life. Yep still a Queen 👸🏻 comma drama 🎭. How has writing saved you Jilly? you ask. Well I’ll tell you. I’ve kept journals off & on my entire life. I had so many feelings swirling around in my mind that I had to write them out so more intrusive thoughts could enter. But really, writing the thoughts out made them less scary 😧. Like somehow once my fears were articulated, for the made up sH!t they were & memorialized on the page, poof they were gone. Does this even make sense? Well maybe 🤔

My journals were not only doom & gloom. There was poetry & doodles. I included happiness along with hopes & dreams. Joyful memories. Stories of my life.

Once I started working, I took a hiatus from journaling. The only writing I did was for work or school. I was on the 23 year college track but I eventually finished ✅ To this day, I can write an ‘A’ paper in my sleep 😴. I’m pretty persuasive when I want to be. Which leads me to today’s epiphany.

Writing or communicating in its many forms are how we connect with each other. What the world 🌎 needs now is love sweet love 💕 . How much better to express this gratitude than using your words wisely.

Now I’m writing daily & dang it feels good. 1632 days in a row in fact. Seems like hot minutes but it’s been years. No plans for stopping any time soon.

Time to land the plane. It’s muy frio here right now. Brrr 🥶 They’ve postponed a work celebration and encouraged us to work from home 🏡 today. I’ll be starting in 10 minutes. Maybe I should skedaddle.

As always more to come.

#JusJoJan ~ 1/30/23

Linda writes “Your prompt for JusJoJan January 30th 2023, is “canine.” Use the word “canine” any way you’d like. Enjoy!” Dawn gives the word of the day & it’s an excellent one. Visit Dawn’s blog to read her posts and say hello. And follow her while you’re there, if you’re not already. HERE are the rules & ping back.

Dogs truly are humans’ best friends IMO. My FB bio is that I’m a crazy dog lady who likes to read, write, & listen to music. I probably should take crazy off the list. I always said it’s ok because I’m saying crazy about myself. But truth be told, calling yourself crazy, even in jest, is not ok.

We’ve loved lots of dogs over the years & as I stroll down memory lane, I will name them all.

Muggsy, the Mutt, was my first. I barely remember him but once when mom dropped an egg, while making breakfast, she called him over to lick it up before mopping the kitchen floor. This might be a flashbulb memory but I swear it happened. I hear his nails clicking on the linoleum floor along with the slurping sounds.

Next was Queenie, a temperamental fox terrier. Who was already old when our families blended. She wasn’t fond of kids & set in her ways. When she passed away, we got Midnight, a jet black, border collie, chow mix.

We got him at a softball game. A person was in the parking lot giving away puppies to good home. We begged for him & mom finally agreed. Dad took more convincing. We couldn’t decide what to call him so each of us put a name on a slip of paper, dropped in a hat then drew. I had written Fluffy & was devastated when the slip with Midnight came out of the hat instead. My sister picked the name because he was jet black & it fit him well. My brother, Jim & I would sing song his name “Midnight come here boy”. He’d run right over every time. Such a sweet baby despite the chow influence. Though I don’t believe a breed is “bad” inherently. Bad owners cause bad doggies.

After Midnight, there was Suggie, a chihuahua. Originally my sister’s dog. She was working long hours and lil Suggie was eating her furniture. Leaving her crated all day every day wasn’t ideal. We took her in to give her the much needed attention she craved. Suggie came to us fully trained. She would sit, roll over, and stay like a champ. She barked her head off at the mailman. Feisty & protective.

Then I moved out & got married. B’s aunt & uncle gifted us a pure bred collie, like Lassie. We named him Zachary. Two years later, from the same mother dog, we bought my brother, Paul a collie as a surprise birthday gift. Never do that! The dog was named Bandit. After Smokey and … B & I got him back when things didn’t quite work out. But the two collies, Z & B did not get along to the point of blood drawn. We placed an ad in the paper, old school, free to good home. Two families showed up at about the same time with only Bandit up for grabs. The little boy whose parents were 5 minutes behind the first person cried, “he’s just like prince momma, can we take him home?” I cried too, of course I did. B & I chatted real quick, we also worked longs hours with extensive commutes & this little boy would love Zachary & give him more time & attention than we could. Yep, both dogs went to good homes. That was such a lonely night. Felt good but sad simultaneously.

We were without a dog for a bit. Now we have Buddy & Spot, who are red heeler/lab mixes, littermates. They turned 12 or 13 in April. I always forget & need a FB memory to remind me how old they are. I’ve gone on so long, that I will stop for today. I might write the story of Buddy & Spot another day.

Until then, happy Monday. Hope you have a wonderful day.

As always, more to come.

#JusJoJan ~ 1/29/23

Linda writes Your prompt for JusJoJan January 29th 2023, is “exercise.” Use the word “exercise” any way you’d like. Have fun!” Wendy is the prompt originator. Woo Hoo! Visit Wendy’s blog to read her posts and say hello. And follow her while you’re there, if you’re not already. HERE are the rules & ping back.

I enjoy exercise but not the formal kind. Back in the day, I was good for a jazzercise class or two. These days I prefer to meander around out in the world. LuLu & I get our steps in every weekend walking outdoors when the weather permits. With all my conditions, walking is about the only thing I have left. I do count gardening as exercise too but that’s seasonal & very short durations. And of course my physical therapy counts as exercise too just not the aerobic kind. Slow stretching and lifting light weights where I don’t even break a sweat most days. But I do feel better afterwards. That ice stimulus electrode thing is heaven on earth.

As always, more to come.

#JusJoJan & #SoCS ~1/28/23

Linda writes & I copy paste: Your prompt for #JusJoJan the 28th and Stream of Consciousness Saturday is: “throw in the towel.” Use the phrase “throw in the towel” somewhere in your post. Enjoy! WoW 😮, the final #JusJoJan & #SoCS of 2023 is here. Blink & 1/12 of 2023 will be in books.

Throw in the towel isn’t in my vocabulary. I’m a dog with a bone. Ruff ruff 🐶. I can’t remember ever quitting anything. I do remember continuing on through the sludge when I probably should’ve quit. Ugh 😑 And that’s all she wrote.

Join you if you can. HERE are the rules and ping back. Hope everyone has a sensational Saturday.

As always more to come.

#JusJoJan ~ 1/27/23

Linda says Your prompt for JusJoJan January 27th 2023, is “amenities.” Use the word “amenities” any way you’d like. Have fun! Kim provides the word of the day. Woo hoo! Visit Kim’s blog to read her posts and say hello. And follow her while you’re there. HERE are the rules & ping back.

Well alrighty. Amenities. I’m a snob. I want the spa in the hotel I stay in, with room service, a swimming pool, and stunning views. When I was growing up we vacationed pulling a travel trailer behind our Ford station wagon with a way, way back. Sometimes the KOA campgrounds had fantastic amenities & other times just running water.

Little bratty Jilly would say “when I grow up & have my family, we’re staying in hotels”. Then as an adult, I realized the price point, camping was way more affordable. Plus the important part was the places we were seeing & experiences we were living. Big Bend, Grand Canyon, Yellowstone, Pikes Peak, the Royal Gorge, Carlsbad Caverns. Indeed, I had/have a charmed life. Where we slept at night was secondary.

One year I remember going to California with just the station wagon & staying at motels. This was a smaller family trip since my two of my older brothers were working & did not come with us. I had just got my license so my dad & I split the time driving. When you’re going IH 10 west, after you get out of Texas, it is flat and straight with little traffic for much of the way. The allure wore off real quick. One year we took the train from San Antonio to Santa Barbara then rented a van to drive to Lompoc. The amenities on the train were seriously lacking but the experience is one I treasure to this day.

As always, more to come.

#JusJoJan ~ 1/26/23

Thank you fine people of bloglandia. I couldn’t be more pleased. It was my honor to be nominated …

Oh wait! I won?

Well, if having your word of the day featured then yes, Jilly you won!

FAMILY

My family is my ❤ My definition of family is expanded given my life experiences, it is not traditional or linear. Taking it up several levels, humans are my family. That means you who are reading this post. Right now. You’re family. Hi Mom! LOL.

Ya, that’s extreme maybe but I feel what I feel. After 58 years on this planet, I haven’t quite figured out how to tamper those feelings. Sensitive, look it up in the dictionary & you’ll see a picture of lil Jilly.

I found more family recently. Well not recently, over a year ago in December of 2021. On my freaking birthday. That has me in a tailspin and I failed dismally. I want a ‘do-over’. I keep thinking if only I had approached the situation differently, I’d get that unconditional love we all crave. Hence my attachment to my dogs, they love me like I hung the moon, without any conditions whatsoever.

Despite my failing, I’ve come to some conclusions that have helped me grow. DNA without experience does not make an automatic family. Sometimes friends & non-blood relatives are more like family. I cannot make people like me just because the same blood flows through our veins.

If the situation was reversed, I’d be 100% all in no questions asked. If my parents were alive, they would be leading the charge for reunion. But, and it’s a big but, the situation is not reversed & everyone is entitled to their own opinions. I’d be a hypocrite to say otherwise.

Damn that hurts to say it out loud. I have to accept their lack of response to my awkward attempts to connect which feels like indifference to my existence. At least I quit saying I think they hate me because truly how can you hate someone you don’t even know? I may not like these terms we’ve come to but I have no choice but to accept that ‘it is what it is’. I cannot force myself in where I do not belong. And on a positive note, I now have an Auntie who has accepted me sight unseen. Without her, I truly think I might go right over the edge.

I’ll let you in on a little secret. I really just want one conversation with those non-responders, to ask some questions that I was unable to answer in my genealogical research. Then I could move along. Or more accurately, I want a relationship but time for that is short. I accept that others don’t feel the same. Of course, I’m told by a few souls who I have confided in that it’s not over until it is over. Expect nothing but never lose hope. Thank you fictional Charlie & George Reade.

Closing with a quote The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb”. You see blood is thicker than water doesn’t mean your blood kin will accept you. It means that warriors who do battle together (blood of the covenant) are closer than brothers & sisters (water of the womb) who do not experience war. Any soldier will confirm this is fact. Band of Brothers. And while I am not a soldier & have never been to battle, life can be that way. Not the same mind you, not even close but experience counts for a lot. So to my family who I grew up with, thank you for everything. I love you more than words can say. You’re stuck with me no matter what.

Written for Daily Prompt #JusJoJan the 26th 2023. HERE are the rules & ping back.

As always, more to come.

#JusJoJan & #1linerWeds. 1/25/23

I wish I had a “how I know” method to measure my activity too. Self care coloring is the best & it’s now new. When I was a kid & the 64 count color box was the best present on the planet, my sister-in-law would sit down & color with me & my niece. We’re talking 45 plus years ago. Awww. I have not thought about that in years. I can picture us sitting around the table at their lake house, placemats pushed to the side. Each had our own coloring book. Talking, laughing, living in the moment without a care in the world. My niece recently turned 51! But Wait! I’m only 39. How does that happen ??!? It doesn’t. Ha-Ha.

Written for One-Liner Wednesday & #JusJoJan the 25th, 2023 – How I know. HERE are the rules & ping back.

As always, more to come.

#JusJoJan ~ 1/24/23

Linda says Your prompt for JusJoJan January 24th 2023, is “ideal.” Use the word “ideal” any way you’d like. Have fun! Astrid provides the word, woo hoo! Visit Astrid’s blog to read her posts and say hello. HERE are the rules & ping back.

Ideal is a pretty high bar to reach since the synonym for ideal is perfection. If only, …

Short & sweet today, just a jot. I’m off to the orthodontist. I’m officially 1/3 of the way through my treatment. Getting out of these Invisalign trays will be ideal.

As always, more to come.

#JusJoJan ~ 1/23/23

Linda says Your prompt for JusJoJan January 23rd 2023, is “paintbrush.” Use the word “paintbrush” any way you’d like. Enjoy! Paula provided the prompt word. Woo Hoo! Visit Paula’s blog to read her posts and say hello.

I’m not all that artistic but I do love to paint. By numbers. Remember those? Wonder if they still have them. Need to check out Michael’s craft store next time I’m there.

Having the right type of paintbrush makes all the difference & would allow me to paint beautiful scenes. Or so I tell myself. Stretching the truth just a bit huh? Well sort of. Pretty sure the type of paintbrush used matters to those who know. Otherwise they wouldn’t have a bazillion choices.

Our Lulu paints for relaxation. She’s really pretty good at it. I wish we had inspired her to take an artistic track for her life’s work. She even says sometimes that she wishes could use her creative juices to make a living. I guess though if she really wanted it, she’d figure out how to do it. The cliche of you can be anything you set your mind to. Ha! I’ll never be a dancer and could practice hours a day to become only marginally better. Quick question, even if I’m not good at it, am I still a dancer if I dance all over the place like in line at the Starbucks counter this morning? Sure, I’m a dancer, just not a very good professional one.

This is getting too deep. Heavy for a Monday. And how the heck did paintbrush turn into Jilly’s failed dream of being a ballerina? Oh behave. Guess I’ll quit while I’m ahead.

As always, more to come.