No thoughts today … I can only think one day a week and I gave a midweek update yesterday. LOL
Just kidding, my thoughts are 24/7 (even in dreams as I’m sleeping). They are off the charts, flying around in my brain. Too much!! I can’t even attempt to gather them together into some semblance of a coherent post.
Having off Monday was in hindsight a godsend. We started the ball rolling on assisted living care (ALC) for MoMo. Not cheap by any means but surprisingly less expensive that a nursing home. I’m learning quite a bit trial by fire and there is a difference. People would be surprised to know (at least I was) that ALC is a precursor to a nursing home. I always thought they were all one in the same.
And things have been a bit sales pitchy with call after call coming in after I placed my inquiry in “A Place for Mom” search tool. A free service that gets paid by the facility who wins your business. Yep, seems a bit like a racket but people have to make their money some way.
I told my FB friends I was going to write a book of ‘how to‘ so no one else has to go through this but then A Place for Mom came through. They already have the ‘how to‘ manual. Connie is the best even checking in yesterday evening to see how we were doing. No sales convo, just an Are you doing ok? and remember to breathe. Nice touch. Turns out she is a former social worker and while precluded by law to recommend, etc, she did send me all the details we could consume for how to maneuver this otherwise shitshow. Yep I said it. We are in a cluster right now. Aaaaahhhhhh. Stress kills I tell ya what. Life is not for the faint of heart.
As I closed my day out yesterday, I was happy. Satisfied. Giddy almost. Nothing all that special happened and I cannot account for my feelings. Maybe I was covering but I do not think so. We all have our coping mechanism and mine is pretend joy. But not yesterday … at least I hope not.
I added this video to our group chat right before I logged out. I asked does anyone else think they’re a professional dancer and get up outta their chair when this commercial comes on? You see, I do … for a while now … every single time I see it. Recently Lulu got up and did a little move with me herself. Fun times I tell ya what.
I’ve got lots more where that came from but we’re burning daylight as the not so nice John Wayne once said in The Cowboys. Gotta get to work … cattle must be driven. Wishing you the best rest of your day.
I wrote quite a bit more this week than I have in a while. It’s nice to have something diverting my attention. We’re finally experiencing winter these last few days and I don’t like it. Brrrr. I told B we need to consider retiring to a warmer climate and he looks at me like I have two heads. Fall has always been my favorite season, a respite from the heat but not bitterly cold yet. However the great state of Tejas, at least our part of it, doesn’t have a fall season. Start from hades into the arctic, well arctic for me anyway. And with my pain, the cold makes the symptoms worse. I need heated up muscles. Alright enough whining. Too early for cheese and the only way to enjoy a good whine is with some fresh gouda. On with the recap …
On tap for this week, work and blogging. I’m also going to attempt to reframe my sour disposition. Yep I may feel bad but my attitude can either make things worse or make things better. I’m opting for better, come what may, no matter what.
A couple of things percolating in ye ole noggin. Only because I’m still in pain and we’re living the end of days. I’m reminded of a chapter from the Stand where someone on team Stu Redman … maybe Stu himself attempts an appendectomy despite not having the skills to do so knowing it was the only thing that could possibly save a life. They had found a medical text book and tried to learn as they went. Of course the guy still died. Life is imitating art. No telling how many people we’ll lose due to treatable illnesses because Covid has overrun the hospitals. Levels severe in SAT with no end in sight. I get that I’m being dramatic but dammit I hurt.
The other bee in my bonnet is people who knowingly spread the vid. B’s extended family members had a Christmas Eve gathering where everyone got sick. All but one who might have some sort of miracle immunity. Today it was shared that so-n-so and her niece were already feeling sick and went anyway. Didn’t disclose to allow folks to make an informed decision. They were the source. Talk about being pissed. Three of the attendees who had planned to skip were talked into going! Told it was ok. And it may have been if the sickies had stayed away instead.
Still I’m convinced not if but when. I hope I don’t keel over waiting until it’s safe to go in. Maybe by my February/ March follow up things will be better. One can hope.
The 2nd day of 2022, only the 1st Sunday, and I’m already exhausted. The good news is that I have therapy session tomorrow. Virtual, which allows me to sneak off during a scheduled break without the fuss and muss of driving anywhere. I need to get back into this swing of things so to speak, put on my own air mask first, yada yada. Secretly, I don’t think I can help anyone else anyway unless it helps for me to support by basically shutting up. I can’t live someone else’s life. How presumptuous to think I know best and/or can be the fixer for anyone but me. Feels very selfish … this self-care … being kind to myself. I pray my loved ones will do the same for themselves.
Alrighty. Enough prattling about. On with the show. Here’s what went down in the haze that was last week. With time off, I had a few more entries than normal.
Besides the therapy, I’ve got some big things going down this week. Some I’m directly involved with and others only on the sidelines. Wish B luck with his mom. I know I can be dramatic but amputation is a real possibility. May the medical magicians come up with a better alternative.
Pray that we steer clear of omicron, people are very easily infected even those who have taken precautions. As I hear Lulu coughing now, I’m wanting to run out to buy a test. Ugh! Why didn’t I lock her in her room? Kidding, not kidding. Kinda, sorta, maybe.
I also hope to get the taxes done no later than January 15th!! I’m much more organized this year but there is also more than one contractor. Those 1099 NECs don’t write themselves. Last year I was rushing to get the paperwork postmarked on the day it was due. Not making that mistake again.
Simply writing about everything I need to get done among the <cough/cough> makes me anxious as hell. Time to stop!! Out damn thoughts!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Deal when it happens, the future’s not ours to see. Que sera sera!
As this year winds down, I’m not sure what to do with myself. I worked a few days over the holidays since for the first time ever our entire family is gainfully employed. Without the same tenure as I have or with being a boss like B is, they had to work. Left with too much time on my hands is no bueno. Work was a respite. Plus the office is quiet and I was able to complete some long overdue “housekeeping”. No scroll inbox for one! Yeah buddy. My outlook system is back in bidness.
What a cluster. Things I have not posted about. The minor irritations I post about instead to mask and redirect. This is not my story to tell but we’re gutted.
I’ve also not written about my continued pain. No relief but with every test known to man conducted and shown as negative, I have resigned my lot. My GP will give me any pill I ask for but that is little consolation to finding out what this is and treating to cure not just take the edge off. And that comes with consequences otherwise known as side effects.
The physical therapy was a fiasco though I continue with at home exercises that do help somewhat. I always feel better when I’m mobile. I’m determined not to whine as much anymore. I’ll still bitch about it when I hit a wall like now but otherwise I’ll just keep powering through until I keel over. I told B that if I go before my time, to sue them because not finding out my diagnosis wasn’t for lack of trying.
In fact, I went in too often. I secretly think my doctor wrote me off as crazy considering the notes from her predecessor which I have in my hot little hands. She picked up where the other left off. And the other? Well I hope her concierge medical practice failed miserably. First do no harm my Aunt Frances. She left us in a lerch.
Enough already! Turn that frown upside down. Grab some breakfast, then get to work. Tomorrow is a holiday and I’ve got a book with my name on it … or not exactly on it. Lol. That ship has sailed. I’m avid reader not a writer and nary the two shall meet.
Aaaahh. I’m sitting here enjoying a cuppa even though the weather is too warm for hot tea. I have this thing, hot tea only when it’s cold outside. Otherwise I left my tea steep until it’s room temperature. But the day is a gray humid drizzle so in honor of that, hot tea is called for to break the spell of the hum drums. I used my electric kettle for which I’m eternally grateful.
The kettle actually belongs to Pony for his coffee but after last year’s February Snowmageddon, he’s discontinued using it so I claimed it for myself. Hard to believe that just a little less than a year ago we were without running water for several days. Something during that time flipped a switch in his brain. The habit was broken. Good thing my addiction lives on.
Due to medical conditions, I limited coffee to one cup a week. Then last week seeing as it was the holidays, I leapt off the wagon, and drank coffee daily. I’m paying for it now and have begun my detox with this fantastic green tea elixir. Amazing what small life changes can do. I’ll stay on the wagon. I’ve done it before and will do it again.
I’m replaying our Christmas Eve in my mind. While it wasn’t a repeat of “what the hell was that?” from 2020, it was different. We jokingly called it low key hot ass Christmas. Oh joy! And yesterday Lulu and I spent the day alone. B and Pony went deer hunting.
Alrighty. Enough blathering about. I’ve caught up on #SoCS though I’ll go back later to see if anything new comes in. And I’ve got angry music to listen to as well. And with all the time in the world, I’m going to keep reading If It Bleeds by Stephen King. The title comes from the old newspaper expression, if it bleeds, it leads. Yep yesterday and ripped from today’s headlines all rolled into one. I think his short stories are the best! I know he’s not everyone’s cuppa but I’m able to separate. His words paint vivid pictures in my head and characters who come to life. Yep just what the doctor ordered.
I’m loving the Fantasy Island reboot. And just like on the island, it doesn’t take much to make things feel like Christmas because everyday in Fox TV faux-land Christmas comes every day. The place where all your wishes come true. Ah Phooey! Though mind over matter is something until the physical reigns supreme. At least with a positive attitude, your passage of time is better than it would otherwise be. Too much waxing philosophical. I’ve been through what some may call a mind (you know what). And I am exhausted. Now without further ado, the quick roll call.