Jilly’s A-to-Z for 4/8/22 – Glittering / Glare

Glittering and Glare

Glittering shimmer

Mirrors harsh reality

Glares right back at me

As always, more to come.

Thursday Thoughts the Play-by-Play Edition ~ 4/7/22

I’m all checked in. Going to be a long one. The waiting room is packed. But this practice is huge. Hope I get in close to my original appointment time.

They have freaking vans dropping people off. Many are here for physical therapy. That helped me once upon a time.

Nerves are jittering. That’s fo sho. Heaven help me. I should’ve brought my rosary 📿

As always more to come.

Jilly’s A-to-Z for 4/7/22 – Face / Fearless / Forgive

Face / Fearless / Forgive

Unable to Face

Fearless she made her choices

Forgive or regret

This one is deeply personal to me. I’m going through a rough patch and sharing the physical parts because somehow that is easier. At 10:00 a.m. CDT today I have my follow-up appointment with a vascular surgeon. My therapist says keep the appointment. If anything he can rule out one more thing. Done and Done.

But there is emotional and mental stuff going on too. I’m being purposefully cryptic due to fear. The shame of having to hide myself is unbearable but if I all of a suddenly brought in all that other stuff, out of the blue, I have to wonder what people would think of me. And sadly what other people think has and will always be more important to me than what I myself think or feel. Hey feeling would have been a great 4th F if I have gone a for 5/7/5 double. So would fake for that matter.

My social experiment with an alias has backfired on me. I took a chance and made the choice to use my irl account only to be blocked by found family immediately. A virtual slap in the face. I’m not even worthy of a what the hell, get away from me.

Lulu is using her psychology on me; “Well mom he didn’t curse you out, I give him points for that“. I tried to explain my preference for a verbal smackdown because that meant I was worthy of his ire. The thin line between love and hate. Indifference and silence have been normalized and that is increasingly cruel. Oh well, I can’t make anyone like me. Relationships are a two way street.

As always, more to come.

#1linerWeds. 4/6/22

Still watching too much TV 📺. Here’s my offering for today. From the show Mr. Mayor with Ted Danson and Holly Hunter. Holly plays Arpi Meskimen. Her character is a 🦉 hoot. In response to getting help she says …

“I’ll try anything except therapy or Peloton”

Of course I’m easily amused so I snort laughed. This may be a “you had to be there” joke. But what Arpi said is funny. For anyone needing help, one of the least helpful things is to tell a person struggling to get some exercise. Certain things we already know. And while I love and need therapy, I’m not going to presume it’s a cure all for everybody.

And with that, I get off my soap 🧼 box 📦. Hope I don’t twist my ankle on the way down. To join in, Here are the rules and ping back.

As always more to come.

Jilly’s A-to-Z for 4/6/22 – Echo / Earth

Echo and Earth

Echo and reverb

Power in the clouds above

The Earth’s solid feet

Trippy dippy today. Ohm. Ohm. Ohm. Our music interlude is my salve, lemme tell ya what. Aahhhh.

As always, more to come.

Jilly’s A-to-Z for 4/5/22 – Dare / Deal

Dare and Deal

Dare to face your fears

Or you’re not really living

Play let’s make a deal

Uh yup, these are getting progressively worse and it’s only Tuesday with 22 more entries to go. Doh! There is no juxtaposition in the above. I need some hot and cold action going on, ya know like saying ice burns or heat cools. The first two lines aren’t horrible but … cliché. And what the heck brought Monty Hall here with us today. I’ll be brave by daring to take what’s behind door number three. Well lemme tell ya, that deal is probably a billy goat. I remember watching in the 70s when that happened. Let’s Make a Deal, the farm animal edition. Tee Hee. Maybe I’ll switch to songs only.

As always, more to come.

Share Your World ~ 4/4/22

Melanie cooks up the questions and I serve up some answers. Look HERE for the rules and pingback.

QUESTIONS

Are you more productive at night or in the morning? Do you think it’s possible to change and get used to another schedule? Well I was always a night owl and much more productive late into the evening but then I got a ‘real’ as opposed to fake job where I had to be in the office by 7:15 a.m. Living at least 45 minutes away meant lil Jilly became a lark. I got up early, kicking a$$ and taking names. LOL. Several years into my career, I took an after hours position when Lulu was born. We avoided daycare that way. I was up when people were sleeping and vice versa. I wandered around sleep deprived. Worst 4 1/2 years of my life. Point of this babble is yes you can change but not without consequences. My sleep patterns are forever messed up. Without enough sleep, I’m not on my A-game.

What’s the biggest vehicle you’ve driven?  A Chevy 2500 Crew Cab. If you don’t drive, what’s the biggest vehicle you’ve ridden in?  A greyhound bus.

What songs would be played on a loop in hell?  Some syrupy jingle like Limu Emu. Ugh

(Deep and chewy philosophical question):     What does it mean to be a person?  What constitutes “personhood?” (there may be some diverse opinions, but we’re all mature adults in here, so be respectful of others please). Heck I don’t know. Maybe by living the golden rule you’re the best kind of human?

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GRATITUDE SECTION (Always Optional)

How were your spirits (mood) over the past week?  This gif

I love it and it makes me laugh and boy do I need to laugh.

haiku – eyes and sand ~ 4/4/22

open your eyes wide

see the world in its beauty

sand can turn to pearl

I don’t even know if that’s true but it sounds like it could be. I’m also experimenting with lower case. I kinda like it though my grammar happy mom wouldn’t like it … She would also hate me using kinda. lol

Written for Ronovan Writes #Weekly #Haiku #Poetry Prompt #Challenge 404 EYES and Sand.

Jilly’s A-to-Z for 4/4/22 – Crow / Cause

Not sure why I picked crow because that bird sort of scares me. I think Jinx was a crow or maybe a magpie I forget which. Similar. Anyhoo I took a brief look at Dr. Google and found this Corvidae is a cosmopolitan family of oscine passerine birds that contains the crows, ravens, rooks, jackdaws, jays, magpies, treepies, choughs, and nutcrackers. Nutcracker, this ain’t a ballet. Move on, nothing to see here except for today’s haiku. I used the verb crow too which makes my preamble convoluted. Welcome newcomers! For oldcomers, just more of the same. Haha!

Crow and Cause

When you’re passionate

Crow at the top of your lungs

Rebel with a Cause

And for the tunes, we have James Dean on deck.

As always, more to come.

I Gotta Ramble ~ 4/3/22

• My mother in law MoMo isn’t doing too good. She is going through her stuff to give away. That’s actually good, better to give while alive than inherit is my motto. Maybe I Like that because that is what my Mamaw did. But yesterday she told us that she picked out the pictures for us to display at her funeral which she hopes comes quickly.
• My father in law PoPo is back home from rehab after an inflection did a number of him causing him to lose the ability/strength to get around. His using a walker and still has a catheter but he’s healthy so the doctors say. Better off than MoMo. And when I saw him yesterday and talked to him again today, I can tell just by his voice that he’s doing a-okay.
• B’s cousin Johnny Holt Hurst died March 20, 2022. I didn’t write about it then and won’t say much now other than #cancersucks. When little Johnny (His dad had the same name) was in his 20s, he had Non-Hodgkins lymphoma. He survived many years, enough to be considered cured before a recurrence in 2015. The doctors think the chemo from his recurrence may have caused his lung cancer which was stage 4 when finally diagnosed late last year. Mother fuckers want to blame him for not going to any follow-ups after the 2015 scare. They would’ve found the lung cancer sooner or so they think. For reasons not known to us, his funeral won’t be until May. It’s not due to Covid either, it may just be not having enough money. Overall the whole thing makes me sad.
• There is a wild hog rooting around our front yard. You cannot make this stuff up I tell ya what. On a Monday morning a few weeks back I was going to the dentist and as I was turned to the front door locking up I heard all variety of snorts and grunts. I turned and saw him, big ole boar with tusks. He ran off before I could snap a picture. I was stunned but I went to my appointment anyway. I assumed he was lost and wouldn’t be back. But nope, we have signs mister wild hog is visiting us nightly. He particularly likes our new lime tree. B went to look for a hog trap today but tractor supply had one that wasn’t strong enough. No idea what we’ll do next.
• We planted assorted wildflowers last year and only a few bluebonnets came back up. We noticed it for the first time this Friday. Lulu got some micro photos. I love that. Brightness amongst the other nonsense.

I could go on but I feel better just getting this lil bit off my chest. I have errands to run and time is not waiting. Off I go. See if marking some things off the continual to-do list improves things for me emotionally.

As always, more to come.