Share Your World ~ 5/11/21

Here we go! Thanks Melanie for the questions. To join in, here are the rules and ping back.

What do you believe but cannot prove? Hmm. I can’t think of an example. If I can’t prove it, I don’t believe it. While I’m very good at making stuff up due to nerves and idiosyncrasies, when faced with evidence, I typically come to terms.

Do animals have morals? Exclude human beings from the equation please. Not a clue.

Is there inherent order in nature or is it all chaos and chance? I think it’s an inherent natural order that only looks like chaos and chance.

Where is your least favorite place in the world? Any confined space.

GRATITUDE SECTION (Participation Always Optional

Feel free to share something about the seasons that makes you smile! This time of year I enjoy all the May flowers. It’s a beautiful time of year.

#SLS ~ 5/9/21

Heaven/Hell are our prompts today. Thanks to Amy, aisasami for the suggestion and thanks to Jim for hosting. To join in, here are the rules and ping back.

I decided to go with the 80s today picking “Just Like Heaven” by the Cure. I even chose a clip from MTV. memba that? Totally tubular. LOL. More on the song at the WIKI.

“Show me, show me, show me how you do that trick?
The one that makes me scream.” she said
“The one that makes me laugh.” she said
And threw her arms around my neck
“Show me how you do it,
And I promise you,
I promise that
I’ll run away with you,
I’ll run away with you.”

Spinning on that dizzy edge
I kissed her face and kissed her head
And dreamed of all the different ways
I had to make her glow
“Why are you so far away?” she said,
“Why won’t you ever know
That I’m in love with you,
That I’m in love with you.”

Soft and only
Lost and lonely
Strange as angels
Dancing in the deepest oceans
Twisting in the water
You’re just like a dream
You’re just like a dream

Daylight licked me into shape
I must have been asleep for days
And moving lips to breathe her name
I opened up my eyes
And found myself alone alone
Alone above a raging sea
That stole the only girl I loved
And drowned her deep inside of me

Soft and only
Lost and lonely
Just like heaven

Sunday Reflections: A Week in Review ~ 5/9/21

The first week of May was a good one for the most part. Some sadness occurred as my dear friend/former co-worker was laid to rest after her fierce battle with cancer. A celebration of life was held and the family is inspirational in how they are dealing with their grief. L was one of a kind. I know people say that alot, too much to where you might not believe it but in her case, it’s true. The strength she drew from in her final days, showed she was thinking of others before herself until the very end. Makes me think only the good die young is the reality.

This week’s roll call is only the usual suspects due to the wrap up of A2Z. Without further ado, let’s get crackalackin.

  • Sunday May 2 – #SLS I picked We Built This City and then I asked Why Not Me? my nerves were working overtime. Reminds me to call the therapist EAP found for me. On my to-do list for this week.
  • Monday May 3 – Haiku – Red & White had me thinking I was Snow White
  • Tuesday May 4 – Share Your World is still top of my list! Keeps the hounds at bay. I also took some time to reflect on AtoZ.
  • Wednesday May 5 – One liner Einstein style and a second post caused by nerves that had to come out. Little did I know when I used Woman and Sheep by Kiki Smith as my Tidbits feature image that I would find another gem at the McNay yesterday. Kiki Smith is my spirit sister. I’m telling ya what! She also did the porcelain Woman with Arm Raised. I snapped a pic but since I am running out of space, it may be some time before I get it off my phone into a usable format. Still in my mind’s eye, this find is FANTASTIC!
  • Thursday May 6 – The usual Thursday Thoughts. This week the topic was health insurance.
  • Friday May 7 – Book Club – my shortest non-spoiler review yet. A rough read.
  • Saturday May 8 – #SoCS we looked to the left. Then I wrote about my Best Night’s Sleep before Lulu Belle and I spent the morning at the McNay. We arrived before the doors opened to allow time to stroll through the gardens before becoming the first customers inside. Masks required indoors along with social distancing. Good thing we got there early because the crowds came quickly making the distancing part harder to maintain.

I’ll write more about our visit in a separate post in the coming days. For now lemme let ya go. Until next time, wishing you the best!!

As always, more to come.

Best Night’s Sleep ~ 5/8/21

I used to write my dreams down in a journal. I don’t know if I ever really did any interpretation of my dreams. It was just something I did to get those thoughts out of my head. Not like I would remember much anyway. If I didn’t write them down immediately upon waking that is.

After my procedure yesterday, we grabbed a bite to eat, and then came home. Instead of taking a nap, I forced myself to stay awake. We played around with the dogs. We went out to the garden and picked zucchini. B and I generally had a lovely afternoon. There was even some swing time in the mix.

As with the other times before, I had the best sleep of my life because of my sedation earlier in the day. They’ve improved quite a bit over the years. Less grogginess. Faster wake time. But what remains the same is being out stone cold and recovery with zero pain. Then following the procedure is when I have the best night’s sleep.

And I know the propofol was probably out of my system, but I slept so soundly last night. Yet I did dream. Vividly. I went to visit ‘C’ my best friend from grade school. In my dream, she was living somewhere in Europe. I was much younger, single, with no children. My mom tried to stop me from going but I went anyway.

As C showed me around, we were looking at a large body of water. And there were amazing things happening in the sky. She told me every evening could be like this. I also made new “dream” friends quickly. With all that goodness, I decided to stay. Move in and work with C. I woke up at the part where my mom threatened to come get me.

So what does this dream mean? Probably nothing. But I am going to interpret myself. Sometime tomorrow or the next day. Because right now is exhibit day at the McNay. Say that three times fast. Off we go. Happy Saturday!

As always more to come.

#SoCS ~ 5/8/21

Howdy y’all. Time once again for #SoCS. Our host with the most, the one and only Linda G Hill gives us the following prompt:

Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “to your left.” When you sit down to write your post, look to your left. What is the thing closest to you? Write about the memories that thing induces. Enjoy!

Hmm, not a word, nor a plane, but Superman! Or at least his writing assignment. Should you choose to accept this mission, proceed expeditiously … whatever the heck that’s means. If you’d like to play along, HERE are the rules and ping back.

To the left to the left …

Songwriters: Amund Bjorklund / Mikkel Eriksen / Tor Hermansen / Beyonce Knowles / Espen Lind / Shaffer Smith

Well, that’s odd. Beyonce’s is not to my left. Hehe. However her song popped right into by brain when I read “look to your left”. This is stream after all and the mind wanders like the mind wanders. Like the heart wants what the heart wants.

On the desk to my left (which is where I write #SoCS despite the options of iPhone and iPad), I have a shelf with a small collection of personal stuff. So yea, I’m going to write about multiple things. Rule breaker! For a day.

There’s a shell casing from daddy’s burial, the 21 gun salute. The casing was Pony’s but he was young and dare I say careless. He gave it to me for safe keeping. I also have a pair of daddy’s cufflinks and a mini USS Copahee figurine. That was his ship where he was head cook while he served in the Navy. The last of my homage to papa is his Texas shaped named tag which we wore while serving in many volunteer activities.

The shelf also contains a mini horse statue from my friend Jane and a mini elephant statue that hails all the way from Pune India. I can’t remember which co-worker brought that back to our team but we each got one. It’s terrible getting old and forgetful. I should remember who gave that to me. I think I wrote before where I tossed my name in the hat to go to India but wasn’t picked. They had more who wanted to go than slots available.

All things considered, that’s a good thing since they would have had to sedate me to get me on the plane. Business class or not. Safer than a car or not. 17 hours is too damn long to be in the air. And I’m a nervous flyer anyway.

Speaking of air travel cuz we were … or are now, I will never fly again. How do I know this? Well, despite wanting to go somewhere … anywhere but here, there is enough in my own backyard that I still haven’t seen. And I don’t have to stay in Texas. I can drive to states close by too. Which is why I have decided that is how I will see the country once I retire. Look at me planning for a future like nothing is going to happen.

I got only partial results yesterday. I’ll find out about the two biopsies on Monday or Tuesday. It’s nothing until it’s something. Say it with me!

Alrighty, the water is slowing down. Just a trickle. So lemme let ya go.

As always, more to come.

Thursday Thoughts ~ 5/6/21

Time for another edition …

So far so good regarding the prep for tomorrow’s procedure. In fact, better than I remembered since I have been down this road twice before. Thanks to the awfulness that is health insurance, I took a new kind of prep. And that will be the topic of my Thursday thoughts.

Originally the insurance declined to cover my prep med. They said it required pre-authorization from the doctor. I called the doctor’s office and they said “that is ridiculous. we don’t preauthorize medicine”. Had I just said screw it, I would have paid $$$ out of pocket for the declined solution.

But, I called and talked to people to find out why they would do something that stupid. The insurance parent of Aetna called CVS Caremark the child. What a family affair! Finally the doctor’s office called the insurance company. And found a suitable substitute. As I was brought along for the ride in this dialog, I asked “what’s the cost; is that why you won’t pay?” The original RX was $133, the one they approved was $166. Hmmm, that theory was blown. Except when I googled the new RX, big as day across the banner of the landing page was the following statement “Exclusively sold Aetna/CVS” What the everloving hell???! It is ABOUT money. Always and sadly.

And who pays? All of us. And what about people without insurance or crappy insurance? Seriously! What about them Meredith Grey!!

In other news, the procedure itself costs close to $2000 when you add in gastro-doctor, anesthesiologist, and facility. I paid in arrangements out of pocket because I have yet to meet my deductible. BUT in 2018, when I had the exact same procedure as preventive instead of follow-up for firm diagnosis, the insurance covered the entire thing! Yep, deductible not met then either but preventive covers all.

The true cost is absolutely the same regardless of why something is being performed OR it should BE. Because I am pretty sure the insurance didn’t pay almost 2k last time. What a crooked slimey process.

And with that, rant ended. Hope to see you on the other side sometime tomorrow afternoon. Until then, hope all is well in your corner of the world.

As always, more to come.

Tidbits ~ 5/5/21

Cheers to Cinco de Mayo!

Things never come out of my head onto virtual paper the way I think they will making it hard to follow me. Today I am going to use bullet points …

  • I had to go in for more blood work yesterday, nothing stirs the worry more than blood work for cancer markers
  • No need to worry, this is standard and precautionary
  • The CT does NOT show cancer
  • The CT doesn’t show enough of anything which is why the second test is needed
  • Stick to your lists and plans that the EAP lady gave you
  • They help, they truly help

I tried to be helpful and told the phlebotomist about my soft wide easy to stick vein that John the FR told me about. Since I was still bruised, she went to the other arm. Before I knew it, she was drawing my blood. She said “yep I see what he means but when you’re as good as I am you can get blood from anything”. Score!

This morning I received an email about lab results in my patient Portal. I stayed away. Yep I sure did. No one screens this stuff. I will just find out Friday at the appointment. I admit I was tempted but I resisted. Doing so actually helped alleviate my anxiety. Imagine that?!?? lol Plus no one from the office called me. If it was bad news they’d call right?

Ah who cares?!? I’m going to make my liquid lunch for tomorrow. Jell-o that is … kind of solid but not really … qualifies as liquid for this purpose anyway.

As always, more to come.