Tick Tock Or Tics and Tock?

A watch pot never boils

Tick Tock

Tick Tock

Time waits for no one

For as long as I can remember, I have had ways to soothe myself which were legal and not harmful. ¬†I didn’t realize why I was doing what I¬†was doing, I just did it! ¬†A silly little game of drawing a “nervous” candle and then X’ing out the flame. ¬†The act of making that X destroyed the flames and away¬†went the nervous energy. ¬†I drew pages and pages of these candles. ¬†Can you say obsessive? ¬†But it worked.

Now one pays good money in therapy to get anti-anxiety techniques. ¬†When my thoughts were overwhelming, I played repetitive games like the candle game or I got up and moved. ¬†Why yes you CAN shake it off. ¬†Thank you T Swift!! And while some of what I did may not last long-term, a¬†change of scenery does a world of good. ¬†So does occupying your mind with something other than the madness. ¬†I don’t mean to make light or over simplify; I just share what worked for ME. ¬†I don’t claim to have a corner on what works for anyone else.

Have any of you watched the new show American Housewife? ¬†Katy Mixon and ¬†Diedrich Bader aka Katie & Greg Otto are¬†awesome. ¬†The youngest daughter, Anna-Kat does all these hand gestures to combat her anxiety. ¬†You may have watched the recent episode where they forego meds despite the almost constant, “that child should be medicated!” ¬†They are trying everything else first. ¬†Where the hell was this fictional sit-com family when I needed them??? ¬†I wished someone had advised me to try everything else first. ¬†I (we because daddy was here too) made the wrong decision regarding our child. ¬†Once that monkey is on your back, getting him the fuck off is hard. ¬†That’s a bridge we will cross together one day I hope. ¬†I have to believe things can be fixed. ¬†In the meantime, I am glad shows like this exist to bring awareness to the issues.

Die if you do, die if you don’t. ¬†Yes this is life or death stuff. ¬†To medicate or not to medicate, that is the question. ¬†I watch a piece of my heart, my child, ¬†who is stuck on a cycle of meds are not really working but stopping is¬†terrifying.

I firmly believe mental illness is a REAL illness. ¬†As real as diabetes. ¬†We still have ways to go to understand ¬†all the diseases of the mind though. ¬†I believe the mind is powerful, steel or titanium and that makes me believe that the mind can be healed. ¬†And cue the eye rolls, right on time. ¬†I know people who do not agree. ¬†“Snap out¬†of it” they say. ¬†“Fuck you” I say! ¬†If it were only that simple, we’d all¬†be mentally well.

Left with no answers, so I am just venting.  As always, more to come.