And that’s OK because I’m saying it about myself. For as long as I can remember I’ve been a nervous person. I overcompensated and somehow I lucked into this life that is blessed and that I would not trade for anything else in the world. It’s as good as it gets. However I realize that nothing is perfection. In fact, things really fucking suck right now.
I said early on in my “About Me” or maybe one of my first few posts that I wouldn’t tell other peoples stories. Right now my life is a classic example of someone else’s story. I sit here powerless and watching events unfold.
It is weirdo nervousness that is making things worse than they truly are. I’m an enigma. A fatalist Pollyanna! WTF!
I worry. I know I do that for no reason and I’m powerless to stop myself. And even if I have my reasons, worrying changes nothing. I feel awful; this cycle is vicious. I’ve recently been helped immensely by reading my fellow bloggers pearls of wisdom. I grab onto those words like a life raft in this unreal virtual world 🌎. Some of you have no idea how much you’ve impacted my life.
Hey wait a minute “real” is relative. I think real equates to people who know me in my face to face life and in the blogosphere it’s unreal because we’ve never met face-to-face. Yeah and despite that, I’ve shared some pretty horrific things … personal things with you. As I sit here musing, I’m struck by how humankind is connected. Despite our differences we are more alike than we some times admit.
As always, more to come.
J-Dub's Grin and Bear It 