So, … I Think We’ll Be Okay

All of us go through stuff.  Different crosses to bear.  In the immortal words of Prince Rogers Nelson

“Dearly beloved.

We are gathered here today.

To get through this thing called life.”

Life is not easy but if we are really lucky we get by with a little help from our friends so sang the Beatles.

Old me never shared that bad stuff.


You can stop laughing.

It WAS true.

Pre-blog Jilly was hardy stock.  Puritan.  Pick yourself, dust yourself off and start all over again.  My parents would be mortified at the blabber mouth I have become.

What’s new for me now is that I ask for help.  And with an overwhelming sense of the other shoe is about to drop because the regular bad stuff isn’t quite bad enough, I talked to Lulu Belle and B.  We’ve been doing this game night kind of thing and last night we turned it into our own version of what would you do if … then I spilled my guts.

Surprisingly it was the child who spoke with wisdom.

She does that for me but she cannot do that for herself.  Weird how that works sometimes.  Today was going to be rough.  I knew that.  And my heart was breaking.

When I look at her I am overcome.

So many conflicting emotions.  I want her to leave but I know I will miss her and I wish she would stay.  Watching with worry does nothing for either one of us.  I tell myself that whatever comes in the future just is what it is.  I cannot control my universe.  But I can control my reactions.  When that damn shoe does drop, I will finally feel relief. Kind of, sort of, well maybe??!?

Who knows? But I have to think that we’ll be okay.

As always, more to come.



J-Dubs Review of the Nest by Cynthia D’Aprix Sweeney

This one was the book club selection for July and we will be discussing it Monday.  Can’t wait!  Excited to see what is on tap next too.  But before I get ahead of myself, here’s my take on the Nest.

The book revolves around the four Plumb siblings and has many more story lines.  I won’t spoil anything but just suffice it to say, there are nuggets of gold which delve into real human psyche – character flaws and all.  Love and acceptance or bitterness and betrayal.  What does one do when he/she loses an inheritance (the Nest) that had been counted on to cure any number of personal woes?  Does one rise to the occasion or falter?  How do you think you’d react?

Me? I’d like to think money isn’t everything.  Spoken as someone who is comfortable while not affluent.  I guess I’d be bitter over the broken promise but I’ve come to realize we are not “owed” anything.  Never count your chickens before they are hatched.  Sure an inheritance would be nice but maybe valuing people not things is better.  Actually there is no maybe about it. Chose people! Show up and but for one of them, they did just that.

I will close with some quotes that made it into my commonplace book.

“I’m curious” he said “is telling someone to relax every helpful?”  Breathe … hyperventilate, swallow … choking.  Unless admonition.

… never mind his ordinary looks.  They lent a valuable invisibility.  He overhead things he wasn’t supposed to hear, people confided in him.

She knew they called her the General behind her back and she didn’t care.  Because she also knew what it was like to grow up in a state of anarchy.

She could Google it but she preferred to wonder(ah if only J-Dub)

The shelf held nothing of value and it held everything of value

…wasn’t even sure she understood the impulse making her want to let go, but she decided not to overthink it for once. (ah if only J-Dub)

I give this book 4.28 of 5 stars.  Why? I am feeling random. Hehe 🙂

As always more to come.

Helpless Help Desk

Trying to set up automatic payments due 8/1 for the dorm.  Error message account already exists juxtaposed with your account is inactive.


You’re killing me smalls.  I called to check on a help ticket placed last week and here is how the convo went:

Rep: “Oh, we closed the ticket”

Me: “Uh why?”

Rep: “Hmmm … no idea”.

Now I sit on hold listening to gawd awful muzak. FML.

Not really, my life is muy bueno but cursing even in acronym relieves stress.

As always, more to come.