All of us go through stuff. Different crosses to bear. In the immortal words of Prince Rogers Nelson
We are gathered here today.
To get through this thing called life.”
Life is not easy but if we are really lucky we get by with a little help from our friends so sang the Beatles.
Old me never shared that bad stuff.
You can stop laughing.
It WAS true.
Pre-blog Jilly was hardy stock. Puritan. Pick yourself, dust yourself off and start all over again. My parents would be mortified at the blabber mouth I have become.
What’s new for me now is that I ask for help. And with an overwhelming sense of the other shoe is about to drop because the regular bad stuff isn’t quite bad enough, I talked to Lulu Belle and B. We’ve been doing this game night kind of thing and last night we turned it into our own version of what would you do if … then I spilled my guts.
Surprisingly it was the child who spoke with wisdom.
She does that for me but she cannot do that for herself. Weird how that works sometimes. Today was going to be rough. I knew that. And my heart was breaking.
When I look at her I am overcome.
So many conflicting emotions. I want her to leave but I know I will miss her and I wish she would stay. Watching with worry does nothing for either one of us. I tell myself that whatever comes in the future just is what it is. I cannot control my universe. But I can control my reactions. When that damn shoe does drop, I will finally feel relief. Kind of, sort of, well maybe??!?
Who knows? But I have to think that we’ll be okay.
As always, more to come.