For 1/12/18 ~ Aggravate

Prompt by: Fandango and it is a juicy one.  Checkout his blog.  You’ll be glad you did.

Post by J-Dub

Decisions, decisions. Aggravate has a multitude of applications and while in my opinion aggravate does not fall into the same category as yesterday’s humiliate, it is still more on the negative side of things.

Aggravate … to annoy or make worse

Drinking coffee aggravates his acid reflux

Big brother aggravates little sister with his teasing

Jill becomes angry when she can’t have her own way.

See below … that was written at the end of my Kindergarten progress report in 1970.

Before I was diagnosed with depression in my mid 30s, I knew I was angry, irritable and easily aggravated.  Not all the time but often.  A perfectionist, extremely competitive but always against myself.  Me, myself and I (to borrow from Truly Unplugged) having internal conversations to one up and push each other.  Wondering will I ever measure up?  I have standards so high that no one can reach them, least of all me.

III. Emotional behavior on my progress report shows an even split 2-2 excessive anger and self-assertion juxtaposed against justifiable affection and joy/happiness.  I’m an oxymoron.  But then again, I think we are all flexible human beings.

And that was kindergartener Jill.   Surely I am no longer that irritable child. Or is that the core of my personality?  To be easily aggravated when I do not get my own way.

No, I am better than I once was … I have proof.  My family will attest to the strides I have made.  I cannot remember that last time I screamed like a banshee over some slight.  When the kids were younger, that was a daily occurrence.  How many times do I have to tell you to (fill in the blank)?  And I didn’t politely ask, I barked orders.  You’ll do what I say, when I say, and how I say!

Seriously disgusted with the old me.

The core part is being a perfectionist.  The improvement is realizing what is important and knowing made beds do not matter … despite recent book that say doing so will help you win the day.  Sorry Admiral.

It is ok, just to be ok and it is ok that I will forever be a work in progress.

Who knew #JusJoJan would be like free therapy.  Day 12 and I have not missed a day yet.  Yep, that’s me competing against me! Rules and Ping Back  so you can compete too.

As always, more to come.

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2 thoughts on “For 1/12/18 ~ Aggravate

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