I normally do my shopping at odd hours like the b’crack of dawn on any given day. That way I avoid all the riff-raff OR the patrons get to avoid the riff-raff that is J-Dub. Either way everyone is happy, happy, happy to shop in peace, peace, peace.
Every once in a blue moon I have to shop with the regulars … like today around 6/6:30ish. I get a cart even though I need just a few items. Of course my cart has a bum wheel. Not because I am unlucky … why lawd no … I am the luckiest girl alive remember. Go Back. Click Link and You’ll See.
Onward through the fog (Canadian duo, anybody know who?). I get this particular buggy (as the Brits might say) because non-rolling grocery cart makes for hilarious blog post. Too much? Yep probably. The remainder of this stream of consciousness musing won’t be hilarious … though maybe, just maybe the story will be mildly amusing.
I am entering and two beautiful ladies are leaving and I can’t hardly steer around them. One says “oh, so we gonna dance?” As they continue on their merry way.
I grab two avocados and think how I can’t wait until our two trees start producing. After a failed attempt, we are at it again with trying to grow avocados.
Pushing along and sort of crab walking sideways, I stop for graham crackers, then Hershey miniatures, paper towels and finally ginger ale. What an ecclectic variety!
My final stop before self check out hell is the photo lab. I am loving the photo lab. Well last time I did. This time I wait and I wait. Place is empty.
I am not patient and there is someone else waiting just ahead of me. Well I get creative and I called the store and got the automotive department. Not sure why as the number I dialed or punched/typed (I mean who dials anymore? 😉) was listed as the general store number.
Anyway, I ask to be transferred to photos. I thought maybe a ringing phone would get someone over but instead the other guy and I just stare at each other as we listen to the phone ring, and ring, and ring some more. Doh!
The automotive department comes back on the line and I say “Hey I am in the photo lab, please page someone to go there. We are two deep and no one is around” She says “sure” but then she hangs up on me!
In a second or two I hear CUSTOMERS IN THE PHOTO LAB over the loud speakers and this kid strolls over without a care in the world. Leisurely stroll. I mean we were on his time. Jeff Spicoli wanna be. Just call me Mr. Hand. I’m about to eat that kid’s pizza or make him late to prom!
Eventually he checks me out. I have a single print and a personalized plaque for a steal. Anyone remember developing pictures and the insane cost. Now just 16 cents! Can you dig it? I knew that you could.
That’s the love part of Wally World. Low, low prices. We tried Shutterfly and you know what I think? Shoo fly don’t bother me. Your freaking uploader reeks havoc on the slow as ass molasses DSL internet. I’ve tried deleting the application/softwareor whatever the hell it is called 4 different times now. Shoo! You’ve been replaced.
Made it to check out for the items in my cart when a guy comes right up to where I am as he is talking on phone he says “no honey, I’m getting the little basket. If it doesn’t fit, we don’t need it” Not exactly to the level of things I’ve overheard but something is better than nothing. I should have hung out. Eventually I bet I’d hear something juicy.
Amused? Well you should be 😂. Several subtle references. I know don’t quit my day job.
Wait! Before you go. Make this interactive would you? Puhleese with sugar on top. If you get one of my subtle references then list said references in the comments. Shameless attempt for feedback! Feed me Seymour feed me.
As always more to come!
J-Dub's Grin and Bear It 