No habla ingles

Because We All Need A Little Levity

This story begins with the dreaded email from wireless.

IMMEDIATE ACTION: Update to the newest iOS or your work applications could be restricted.

Me: Sacre-bleu!

Hindsight is 20/20. ¬†I should have waited to update my phone when I got home but noooo. ¬†Impatient (I can even hear Big B say it – “Jill you’re impatient”)

I wanted to accept a call but with the update going, the call went to voicemail. ¬†I tried to pause the update and when that didn’t work, I attempted to power off my phone. ¬†Well hell, no one ever told me not to do that. ¬†Phone froze.

I tried rec-boot to fix it and a few other things online before realizing I was in over my head.  The update through iTunes would take 21 hours.  With our spotty wi-fi, that meant more like 48.  I have the big teleconference tomorrow, I must have my phone!!!!!

Me: Sacre-bleu!

I rush to the¬†Apple Store and check in as a walk in. ¬†The estimate time to see me 8:20 pm. ¬†Mind you, I arrived at 5:30. ¬†No choice but to wait since I need my work phone. I give Billy’s number for the text to tell me when to come back. ¬†Thank goodness I took his phone … wonder what they do when people’s phones are non-working. ¬†How do you send the text then? ¬†What’s the plan Apple?!?!? ¬†Your Genius Bar is only slightly above average.

I bought a gift. ¬†Ate Chick-fil-A. I wasted only 25 minutes. ¬†Dropped by AT&T kiosk. ¬†They suggest I see if Apple can fix first. ¬†I go back to the store. ¬†Pacing, asking for update on time. ¬†8:20 becomes 8:00. ¬†It’s not even 6:00 yet.

Me: Sacre-bleu!

Finding out how this walk in thing works.  An appointment is better but they freaking hide how to accomplish that.  If someone with an appointment cancels or is no-show, walk-ins are worked in.  There is no method really, no triage or troubleshooting to try to schedule with that in mind.  People are walking around congregating.  The associates all wear navy shirts but some are sales and some are tech.  Chaos I tell ya!

About every 15 minutes I ask for a time check. ¬†8:00 becomes 7:50 which goes back to 8:20 and then 8:00 again. ¬†I start to wonder if they will get to 9:00 and tell me too bad … we’re closing¬†buh bye! I start to imagine being trapped at North Star Mall overnight!

I make small talk with the people around me cuz that’s how I roll. ¬†Lol! ¬†I make complete strangers laugh. ¬†I love to laugh! ¬†Then, something funny happens to me.

A lady who came in 10 minutes before me … walk in as well … we be bitching and moaning. ¬†A guy comes in and sits by us and is almost immediately told he is next. ¬†Lady gets pissed and I say, he probably has an appointment.

Lady: Why don’t you ask him?

Me: Did you make an appointment?

Guy: Yes

Me: What time, 7:30?

Guy: No

Lady: This is ridiculous

Guy: Yes

We continue to talk about our love/hate relationship with Apple. ¬†How miserable the waiting is and how unorganized they are. ¬†Do they really even take walk-ins? ¬†If their business is by appointment only, they should say so! ¬†Bringing others into our conversation. ¬†The occasional associate would speak to us … how are you doing?

Not good my friend, not good at all!  

This guy would say either yes or no until I ask …

Me: How did you make the appointment, online or mobile?

Guy: No habla ingles

Lol!  Really???  the 3 of us had been having a conversation.  He said yes and no to questions that had yes and no answers but I wonder if he even understood what we were saying.

When I told Billy, he said “Jill, he probably did habla ingles but he was tired of you talking his ear off” ¬†LOL!! ¬†Not funny Big B. ¬†Actually, made me laugh and reminded me of when Pony was about 3 and he pretended he only spoke Chinese.

I told Billy that when I eventually get to the genius bar, he and his wife were right next to me.  The tech was speaking spanish.  He was just too polite to say no habla ingles sooner.

And I bitched my way to the genius bar at 7:50 don’tcha know. ¬†The 15 minute check-ins got to be too much and they caved. ¬†Well, not really caved as this ordeal began at 5:30! ¬†And my original estimated time was 8:20.

Who cares though because I got a spot! ¬†Eureka!!! ¬†And I was seated before the lady who got there 10 minutes ahead me. ¬†She wasn’t bitter or anything when she said “oh I see what it takes to get seen around here. ¬†Whiners are served first”

You’re on your own sister!

I was on the road home by 8:00.  Yep!  All that time and the fix was simple.  Tech forced the update through with their special corporate iTunes account and their fancy high-speed internet.

Me: Sacre-blue!

As always, more to come.

 

 

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