So, … I lied. So, … Sue me. Wait! Don’t sue me.

I gone and done did it. I looked to Google. I wasn’t going to stress. Trying to be a no fuss, no muss me. A better Jilly! But it’s raining here. And I blame the rain for all my woes. Sure we NEED the rain. Without the hail of course. My mood is affected by weather and gray rainy days do me no favors. I’m exaggerating of course. Miss queen, comma drama.

My lab results are online y’all. So despite me not retaining a thought in my head as my Doc gave me the results; scheduling my colonoscopy, I was able to commandeer the report she was reading to me from just now! When I highlight certain key words in the report then right click, a brilliant option known as Search Google for “epigastric pain” comes up. I mean c’mon, it is like they’re begging me to look. Am I right?!?!?

Despite having no medical degree, I have decided I will no longer take my H2 blocker. I even blame my H2 blocker for the step backwards. Of course I will talk to my doc about this on Friday to make sure I’m okay to do stop. If I need to start back up again I will. Though mentally, that one step to stop the H2 blocker is freeing. Poor B, he is worried about me. Not because of the lab report, but because of my fixation. I’m worried about me too. Less worried now that I got some control back by seeing my results. I really needed to read this part of the report ….

“Liver, gallbladder, pancreas, spleen, adrenal glands, right kidney, uterus, adnexa, and urinary bladder have a normal CT appearance.” “Abdominal aorta has normal caliber. No adenopathy or ascites. Lung bases are clear. No suspicious bone lesion.” I left off the potentially bad stuff about inflammation and narrowing, cysts and what nots. Denial is powerful. Plus there is enough “looks normal” in there to help my crazy brain realize this … whatever this is … is absolutely treatable.

Ta-ta for now. Off to an early grocery run. Going today since the church picnic is tomorrow. We’re still ordering ‘to-go’ but this is a step up from last May when all was shut down tight and the picnic got cancelled.

As always, more to come.

#SoCS ~ 5/1/21

And away we go …

Linda writes and I (Polly Wanna Cracker) repeat Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “may.” Use it any way you’d like. Have fun! To join in the fun and games, HERE are the rules and ping back.

I may have become a bit rigid in my way of attacking this weekly prompt. For the last few weeks, I have used the same opening. So much for stream of consciousness. But I liked Polly Wanna Cracker, I really really liked it.

Alrighty, let’s commence shall we? MAY. Hmmm. Think, think, and think …

Sr. Angelee. When I as Co-Commissioner of Religious Affairs my 8th grade year asked Sr. Angelee “can I please have the keys to open the church?” She replied “I’m not sure if you can but I’m sure that you MAY … Ask again”

I looked at her like huh? Then the light bulb went off. Spoken in true grammar police fashion. “Sr. Angelee, may I please have the keys to open up the church?” And she reached beneath her habit and pulled out the biggest key ring I had ever seen. One that contained keys for all 16 classrooms, all the offices, the gym, the library, the cafeteria, and finally the church doors (which all used the same master key). She gave me that key plus a smaller key to get into the room behind the sanctuary.

Every Friday we went to Mass and every Friday of my 8th grade year, I went in early to “set up”. Turn the lights on, turn the juice on and/or otherwise plug in the microphones at each lectern. There was a list of things to do to prepare and I did ’em all.

Let’s say that I may or may not have enjoyed the tasks. So much so that I would ask my dad to get me to school earlier than usual on Fridays so I could complete everything on my own. Without any help from anyone. I’m still that way a lil bit. I may or may not have my own way of doing things a certain way. I like order.

Maybe I should chill out. Dial things back. Be less controlling. On this first day of May, maybe I should turn over a new leaf. Forget new years resolutions. Let’s change things up mid-year. May 2021 is as good a time as any.

And with that, my stream may have run its’ course. I’m off to do a bunch of nothing. Trying not to think about what’s wrong with me. It’s nothing until it’s something!!

As always, more to come.