All Rose in Titanic

Picture it … China Grove TX, May 7, 2020 noontime. I’m taking my walk doing my Rose from Titanic impression, arms outstretched walk as the wind blows back my hair as my heart will go on … I round the driveway curve and see a white van.
 
Dammit! A delivery and me without my mask. Who the eff keeps ordering things?!!??! Not me!! Sacribleu!! I sort of walk jog run in the opposite direction all Minny in the Help, running from Johnny, Celia’s husband. Worried because I taught her how to fry up a chicken and he can’t know that.
 
I swear I would have thrown groceries at the man, if I had them. Panic sets in as I mentally measure six feet apart muthafucker. Want some fire scarecrow? lol
 
But seriously dude where’s your mask?
 
He rolls down the window. I stop to listen as he yells from quite a distance …
 
“FedEx for pick up”.
 
Me: “they came by yesterday”.
 
Him: “FedEx?”
 
Me: “I hope so. For books right?
 
Him: “They told me to check”
 
Me: “Check what? Can’t you tell on your device? The other guy scanned them”
 
WTF. He drives away but stops at the spot in the road where I was when I first saw him. Not leaving. Dogs going nuts. I guess he was double checking but I just wanted him to go. Those damn books, the late fees are more than the original cost.
 
Inquiring minds wanna know, do I need 14 more days of quarantine?

8 thoughts on “All Rose in Titanic

    1. just a bunch of puns … silliness with no real meaning but I’ll try. I walked with my arms out to the side the way Rose did in Titanic at the front of the ship. As I walked I was singing my heart will go on, very low and sort of off key. The Help reference comes from the book/movie when Minny gets caught and that is what it felt like … I got caught without a mask and had to make a get away. The final is returning my daughter’s books to her school … she was ordered home under emergency and never went back. They sent us a packing slip and FedEx label. The fine was more that the books if late. Over $600 for 3 books. Highway robbery. The guy in the van was here to pick up with his co-worker picked up the day before. I hope they got wher then needed to go …

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