#SoCS for 5/2/20 ~ Directions

How the hell is it already May?!??!  Mother lovin May.  We ask about the time suck as we age but there is just something about COVID-mania that makes the question more impactful.  Texas has re-opened but our mayor ain’t playin y’all and people are losing their minds.  We Dub’s are in still for a bit.  And this Dub is playing her usual prompt madness.  Here is what the wonderful Linda G Hill tells us:

Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “directions.” Find a household cleaner/bottle of shampoo/something in the freezer/anything you can find with instructions on it, then copy down a single direction (just one) on how to use/cook/etc. your chosen thing, and make it the first line or word of your post. Then keep writing whatever comes out. Have fun!

Homework!  lol.  Well good thing this student knows how to follow directions.  The above is filler and what comes next is the first line of my post:

  • Simmer gently with lid tilted until tender …

Ha! well my “lid” is always tilted.  This should be easy.  If only I could quit giggling.  Lid for one is an unusal word if you think about it.  Many meanings and I am going with of the 1970s Mary Jane variety but without any experience, this will not make an entertaining post.  I have made pinto beans for years and never ever did I notice this direction.  But seriously Meredith Grey, I’ve got zilche, nada, nothing.  Unless you count a hat on my head that is skewed sideways.

Let’s try this again. From the top maestro.  Lysol in hand.  Silently reading.  Realizing yep, that is what it says …

  • Leave for two minutes before wiping …

I am regressing to 4th grade Jilly.  That’s gonna burn.   Or, if people are going to drink bleach, no telling what they might spritz on their bum.  Bwhahahahahahaha.

Funny?  Not even.  Welp, guess I’m done.  And no worries folks, I won’t quit my day job.  They’ll have to pry my position from my cold dead hands.  Cuz one day that’s what’s gonna happen.  I’ll keel over at work.  Hopefully we’ll be back in the office before then so someone will find me.

If you’d like to join in to the shennigans that is #SoCS, here are the Rules and Ping Back.

As always, more to come.