I stayed in bed until after 9 am this morning. When I mentioned this to my sonshine, I added how I had not done that in years to which he quipped “yep I remember, 5 more minutes … thanks for screwing me up mom” Of course I laughed because in his reply, I heard my own smart ass voice talking back to me. He was kidding not kidding. I was queen of the five minute snooze … weekends only but that was apparently enough to warp my child. Continuing on Pony says “well at least one of your kids didn’t take after you. The good one!” lol. His sister is just like their father.
Now this made me think. Are our children extensions of us or are they their own people? There is no easy answer. I imagine most “normal” people want their kids to grow up into strong independent helpful contributors to society. Most do not expect perfection. Life is perfectly flawed. I wish I had learned that 31 years ago.
I am replaying a #SoCS post that I read yesterday full credit to Author: Na’ama Yehuda in that sometimes there is no unconditional love or acceptance if our children dare be who they are and they know it. Even when we try to hide our desire for them to be who we think they should be as was my case. Though I did not hide it well enough resulting in a pretty dark path for our girl. Now that she has climbed out of the tunnel (that was really never even that bad), I am still struggling. I know better and I can recognize it instantly when others helicopter their kids. I remain a work in progress trying to achieve unconditional love. Even at my ever advancing age because it’s never too late. Acceptance is within my grasp.
As always, more to come.