Taken from FB 5/19/14

Aftermath of the 2014 Fall

Funny what you forget.  The mind’s way of coping I guess.  This is about six weeks post fall.  About three months before he went back to work.  “It is what it is until it isn’t” is eerily similar to our mantra today. 

So Billy Bob’s bright red cast came off for a few minutes today to be replaced by what? Another bright red cast. Everything looks good but the radial break is not quite healed yet. 

 Let’s face it he has old man bones.  He now has a prescription for vitamin D. Once a week as more than that is no bueno.

He is still not released to drive. And he cannot do anything weight bearing with his right arm until Monday June 23rd. That’s when he will return to get the cast off for good. Followed by at least a month of physical therapy. 

Disappointed sure … but … and there is always a but … it could be worse. The ortho waiting room was filled with walkers, wheelchairs, and crutches. The guy next to us was visibly wincing. He had been dropped off and when asked he replied “yep I am alone again. The bus will come back for me”. For better or worse at least we have each other. This guy was alone. In a wheelchair. I’ll never complain about driving Mr. Daisy again. 

Lulu is glad to spend the summer with her daddy. Another silver lining. Maybe he can teach her to drive. Lord knows I’ve tried.  Anyhow it is what it is until it isn’t. Still sunshine and roses. Oh happy day!!!

The Prognosis is Good

Life

We offer a big heartfelt thanks for all the prayers and well wishes. ¬†It’s Not A Tumor¬†was the beginnings of this emotional roller coaster ride. ¬†Today was the BIG day. ¬†Lulu got the results. Superstitions abound. ¬†We were in Agony¬†but not worried. ¬†Musical Therapy¬†got us through somehow. ¬†May 18th had to be a good day. ¬†After all, I graduated 34 years ago on this day. ¬†Ah the memories. ¬†This lame attempt at humor is brought to you by several sleepless nights and my need to defuse any and all situations with humor.

So here are the details as we lay people understand them. ¬†I am NOT going on WebMD¬†to validate; just repeating what we’ve been told. Do NOT read any further if you don’t want the gory details.

Blood work and other assorted labs have come back with no evidence of cancer. ¬†The family history scare is silenced. ¬†She has an undefined or indeterminate ¬†(I cannot remember the adjective) pelvic cyst which is 16 cm. ¬†We no longer have to say mass or tumor. ¬†CYST. ¬†and 16 cm. ¬†That’s huge! ¬†She was given three options:

  1. Surgery the old fashion way/safest way considering what she is dealing with.  She will have a vertical incision and the cyst will be removed intact and sent off for further testing.  No cancer markers is not an absolute and further testing is a given.  Keeping the cyst intact is a priority.  If it ruptures, there could be complications.  Two night hospital stay and six weeks recovery period.
  2. Surgery a less invasive way Рhorizontal cut at the bikini line (that she is not really a candidate for because the cyst is up too high).  Significantly increases chance of rupture.
  3. Suck it out (layman’s term) for draining the cyst. ¬†The least invasive of the three options. ¬†Risk is low but could create complications.

Bottom line is that undefined, undetermined, indeterminate = not sure exactly.  The doctor will know full well what she is dealing with only after she gets in there.  I did ask if the cyst could be affecting other organs and the doctor confirmed the cyst (based on the ultrasound) is only within the pelvic area.  She further explained she will try to save the uterus Рtop priority given Lulu is only 19.  There is a chance she could lose her right ovary or right fallopian tube or both.  The odds are still in her favor.

Doc only does surgery on Fridays. Lulu is her first patient on Friday 6/2.  Tomorrow is too soon and booked solid anyway.  5/26 is a possibility.  Doc is booked 5/26 too but one surgery is pending insurance approvals.  If insurance does not go through, Lulu gets that spot.  As much as she wants this over with, we both said a prayer the insurance will approve the other lady.  See how life can sometimes suck!  Do not get me started on another healthcare rant.  Haves and have-nots.  We are in the HAVE category.  Doc said if Lulu starts having any pain or becomes emergent, to go directly to the ER.

We know that’s¬†not going to happen. ¬†What’s supposed to happen is already rolling along. ¬†As always, more to come.

Musical Therapy

Life, Music To My Ears

I came home to this song blasting If I Die Young by the Band Perry .  Doh! Not sure I like her song choice.  But you do what you do to get through ya know.  The lyrics rock me to my core.  

Lord make me a rainbow, I’ll shine down on my mother
She’ll know I’m safe with you when
She stands under my colours, oh and
Life ain’t always what you think it oughta be, no
Ain’t even grey, but she buries her baby
The sharp knife of a short life,
Well, I’ve had just enough time

I have some theories about Lulu’s situation.  If it was bad, there is a liability potential and we would not be waiting until tomorrow to be seen.  If the labs were bad or the ultrasound showed something bad, we’d be called in early, like yesterday.  Might not have even been released.  Therefore, we have to say “it’s nothing until it’s something”  Wevhave to trust our choice in doctors who we’ve only just met.  We have HOPE (damn you fickle bitch, do not let us down). 

Plus thanks to Aunt K, we have Our Lady of Fatima on her 100th anniversary and blessed oil that we are treating with reverence.  I have to think Jesus forgives and doesn’t consider the picture irreverent. Instead it’s a beautiful homage. 


As always, more to come.

So Sick And Tired

Life

Really I am. Misdirected frustration for sure.  I’ll snap out of it once we get Lulu’s diagnosis.  For now, I’m gonna bitch and moan.   

All this Plan B bull shit about how failure is really success. The door to new opportunities.  Everything happens for a reason. Blah blah blah.  Mark Walberg and 50 Cent had criminal histories but look at em now.  Or some super star named Sarah who was fired from Virgin Airlines and Atari only to make it big later at Nike and then Flywheels or some such place.  Blah, blah, blah. 

I’m sorry but fuck that.  They are not representative of the whole.  They are exceptions to the rule.  The rest of us commoners muddle along.  Rags to riches my ass.  

Sure, you can pick yourself up and dust yourself off and start all over again. It’s just not the same as Marky Mark.  Few reach his height of superstardom.  The rest of us enjoy a mundane existence.  I believe failure is not life ending but failure is certainly not game changing either.  Can we acknowledge that it’s ok to take a pause and feel bad for a second? 

So FB quit sending positivity articles to my newsfeed.  Articles that are supposed to make me feel better but instead make me feel like shit. Of course it’s my choice to read or not to read.  Guess I will be rearranging my schedule and my agenda of things to do to include reading only articles that are not saccharine laced bull shit. 

Dang, that felt good! ūüé∂I feel good. I knew that I would now. So good so good. I’ve got you!  ūüé∂.  I should vent more often. ūüėā

As always more to come. 

#16

14 To Infinity

A good night’s sleep ūüėī.  Since those nights are hard to come by.  Few and far between so take it when I can get it.  Even if it’s medicated sleep.  Yep that’s me but only when I hit the wall ūüėā

Agony

Life

… I knew we would not get an answer today.  Still wishing we already knew exactly what’s wrong with Lulu.  I’m semi freaking out. She wanted me in the room so I was in the room. She asked me to look at the screen so I did.  I have no idea what I saw.  Tons of pictures were taken.  Now we wait and see. 

It’s not likely gynecological.  We aren’t supposed to know that, the tech let it slip.  Well, sort of.  We inferred.  Tech thinks doctor might order one more test, a CT.  

The mass, thought to be a cyst of some sort is up high.  It’s also not round but cylindrical.  I saw tentacle looking things that could be blood vessels or arteries.  Like I said, I have no idea what I saw. My mind is working overtime.  

Doctor told us 90% definite for surgery considering the size but if not her lady parts, would she be referred away?  Delaying the inevitable.  We all feel worse after this final test.  Worried sick. 

I’m still staying off WebMD.  Come on Thursday.  Can’t get here soon enough.  It’s nothing until it’s something.  

As always, more to come.