What Fresh Hell Is This? 7/14/19

Made you look.

Titles can do that … make you look.  But then quickly all expectations are dashed if the title is only a hook.  Or gimmick.  I almost cursed here and said mind fuckery but stopped myself.

No I didn’t stop myself.  I wrote the eff word and added ‘ery’ to the end.  I still have a hard time letting the profanity fly for public consumption.  See this post from a while back.

Oh my lawd.  I wrote “To Swear Just Like a Sailor” three years ago on this day!  I used real names too!  But before linking I did a quick edit.  Well for the family.  Me I really am Jilly. Or am I?  Only the Shadow knows. bwhahaha

Anyhoo.  Back to “What Fresh Hell Is This?”  I spruced up the place by adding a new category.  I’ll come back now and again dropping one liners or short snippets regarding things that momentarily make me take a pause to ask … you guessed it!  What fresh hell is this?

Not planning to be all Debbie Downer.  In fact, I want to make these posts funny-ish.  And likely only funny or amusing to me but oh well.  You get what you pay for. Ba Dum Tis went the drum and cymbals.

Today’s fresh hell is brought to you by insomnia sucks ass.  I mean truly.  Who gets up at 2:38 am because she cannot sleep, turns on the overhead light in her office, and goes to her old school desk top to write this post … or any post for that matter.  She should be sleeping for Pete’s sake. And the she is me.

I am manic y’all.  I go to sleep easy but I can no longer sleep through the night.  B says I just need less sleep now that I’m old.  What fresh hell you say?  Insomnia coupled with getting older!  I’m only 34 + 20 – 5 +10 -5.  You do the math.  That’s not old!!  I’m also heading into a new phase at work.  Be careful what you wish for …. Truer words have not been written!!  I may never sleep well again!

As always, more to come.

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Whatever Happened to Her Selena Rainbows?

Yes I name my stuff.  In today’s episode of rambling and musing mostly rambling, I’m talking about my eyeglasses aka my Selena Rainbows.  They’re named after the brand – Selena and the rainbow colored frames.  I first wrote about my experience here if you want to begin at the beginning.

I was going to go to a different place to have things made right.  Then after much feedback in person and on the blog, I decided that the same place owed me.  One afternoon this week I took off early to return my new specs for adjustment.  I was trying to get the deed done and get back online for an afternoon meeting which I couldn’t miss.

I’m the worst about time y’all.  Always early and worry if I’m not … or perceive I am not going to be on time.  Instead of discussing the issue, I basically threw my glasses at the girl and said I’ll be back Saturday!  Went home and made my meeting with 15 minutes to spare.  Whew!

Guess what today is?  Saturday!!!

Per the website, the place is open 8:30 to 12:30.  I slept in until 9ish which helped my case because when I got there, only one car was in the lot.  Another customer.  Turns out the Saturday hours are 9:00 to 1:00.  Yet it was after 9 and I could tell the place was still closed.  Holy hell!  I cannot take off work to come back here again.  Well I can but what a freaking inconvenience!!  I called the number thinking maybe an employee got dropped off but my call went straight to voice mail.

I got out of the car and talked to the gentleman who had been waiting since 8:30!  Mind you it was already 9:25 when I arrived.  He gave me an earful about his experience.  Hopping mad!  I was only irritated.  We both decided to leave.  As I’m returning to my car, I see a Blazer turning left and speeding to the back employee parking lot.

Success!!

As soon as I heard the front door lock open, I rushed in and proceed to word vomit why I am there.  Of course she’s apologizing as she’s turning the lights and everything else on.

She re-measures and sure enough, the lab put my Selena Rainbows at 18 and I’m 22.  The 4 degree drop makes all the difference in the world.  They will have to send back the glasses … not until Monday.  The corrected lens should be ready in about two weeks.  Thanks goodness my old pair will tide me over.

I might write a piece to conclude my saga or not … if not you’ll know things worked out just fine.

As always, more to come.

#SoCS for 7/13/19 ~ “Instructions”

Top O the Morning to Ya me Lucky Charms, they’re magically delicious!  Time for #SoCS.  I for one can’t believe it’s already middle of July.  Time you fickle construct of huMANs quit punking me!!!  The red squiggly line which you may not be able to see once this post is published means punking is not a word.  Oh but it is a made up verb for fooling.  Verbs ARE words.  The More You Know.  Ha!

This week the lovely Linda gives us the following prompt:

Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “instructions.” Write instructions for anything you know how to do. As detailed or as rambling as you’d like. Enjoy!

Hmm!  Well shut the front door and don’t call me Shirley.  I remember this line … when reluctant pilot Ted Striker (Robert Hays) tells Dr. Rumack (Leslie Nielsen), “Surely you can’t be serious,” and Rumack replies, “I am serious — and don’t call me Shirley.  I still LOL everything I hear this line.

Or Don’t call me late for dinner.  Geez Louise!! Why am I doing this?!???

To win!  I have already succeeded had there been bonus points … for rambling that is.  I cannot “Keep a Thought in My Head” “I’m All Over the Place” “What Else is New?” “I Resemble that Remark” “Calgon Take Me Away” “And What’s All This Got to Do With the Price of Tea in China?”  Stop it with the incorrect quotation marks already would ya!!

“Instructions! … We don’t need no stinkin instructions … Or is it badges? We don’t need no stinkin’ badges!” It’s the latter from the 1974 film Blazing Saddles. This famous line is both a quote and a misquote.  My suggestion is you Google for more details because I am hot, I mean I am streaming!!!  Or it is steaming?  As in The Boys Are Back In Town by Thin Lizzy.  When I say she was cool she was red hot.  I mean, she was steamin’  Ooh I LOVE that song!!  Or all songs!  I haven’t met a song I didn’t like or is that a donut?  I have never met a donut I didn’t like.  And puhlesse don’t ask me to pick a favorite … song or donut.

Oh snap, Oh behave, Oh stop it already Jilly Beans.  “You don’t have to tell me twice!”  You have to tell me over and over again until “you’re blue in the face”

In closing, the only instructions for how to write a #SoCS post are there are no rules!! Wait!  There are eight of them.  The first two say it all!  Minimal planning while letting  the words carry you along until you’re ready to stop.  Guess I am done now.  Until next week.

To join this merry band of prompt respondents and/or read their works extraordinaire, here are the rules aka instructions and ping back.

Happy Saturday all.  Now let’s go to the crossroads  where Teagan Ríordáin Geneviene has created lovely escape.  Aaahhh now that’s the stuff.

As always, more to come.

Feedback is a Gift

Once upon a time, I was a new quality manager.  My job was to oversee the auditors and provide a monthly summary to our executive.  WT was a very approachable fellow who always joked around.  Taking liberties one month, I sent my summary email with the tag line:

Feedback is a gift and today is your birthday!! 

The next morning my boss, CJ called me into his office.  Well okay he called me over to his desk because he didn’t have an office.  He gave me feedback on my email.  Apparently it was MY birthday.  My tag line did NOT go over well.

I was embarrassed.  I wanted to clear the air.  Go apologize to WT.  I meant well, I was trying to soften the blow of the month’s less than stellar results.   CJ told me DON’T do anything else … just to NEVER do that again.

Mind you I didn’t modify the official report.  My lame attempt at humor was in the cover email.  Ha!  I still laugh … today is your birthday … because it’s funny.

Years later … or maybe fast forward to June, I saw WT in the hallway at work.  Though I no longer work with him, I brightly smiled and said “Hey W.  Happy birthday! Wink wink.  Get it?”  Surprisingly he did.  We had a good laugh.

And that’s the back story.  Because I’m rambling.  I save my one-liner posts for Wednesdays.  Today is Friday.  Haha.  I slay me.

Okay!  Here we go, here we go now.

I participated in Write Club 2019.  I didn’t place but this year they did something different by offering feedback.  I got about eight word docs with my 500 or less story followed by critiques.  I’m in heaven y’all … hog heaven that is … or I’m high on cotton … lol.  That ain’t right.  I’m something else … tickled pink.  Yep, I am tickled pink.

The first critique was good.  I made his or her top 45, not top 30 but man y’all that’s close when the top 30 compete for reader votes.  My entry was written in an hour-ish, rough draft, not polished.  Yep I’m telling on myself.  I joined for fun with zero expectation of placing.

Guess what critique #2 said?  It said and I quote “this looks like a draft and not a polished piece or perhaps part of a larger story??  Maybe with more context this would make sense.” Winning!

The remainder were neutral.  Several said I had grammatical errors throughout.  Did I think this was #SoCS?  uh ya!  That’s my style.  And I did a head hop thing at the very end.  “Just how did Missy know what Stella was thinking?”  Well geez Louise, mind reading of course.

But I jest!  I LOVE my feedback and I’ll do better next time.  I know what to work on.  Not being facetious either.  Constructive criticism makes us better.  Now I am off to eat b-day cake and ice cream. Maybe play a little pin-the-tail on the donkey.  Hit that pinata.

As always, more to come.

 

 

So, … Dang Nabit AT&T! More Funny Math

I’m on automatic pay aka AUTO Pay and rarely check my bill.  I get all the automated notifications of course but more often than not, things simply go through.  Then while on vacay last week I have the opportunity to pay closer attention to “stuff”.  That’s when I see where our cell phone bill increased by $30  month.

Come to find out AT&T changed our plan without our consent.  Oh but they “notified” us two prior statements ago.  And this was AT&T being good stewards of our account as the UN-REQUESTED upgrade was completed by the loyalty team.  They did us a favor!!  Ugh.

After a fairly lively chat I am offered a VALUE plan which is $5 less per month than the upgraded plan with the only difference being we no longer get the AUTO pay discount because the VALUE plan is already deeply discounted.

Huh?  What?  Take two.  Funny math about to ensue.

The old plan was $85 – $10 AUTO Pay discount or $75 a month and let’s not forget $20 a line to activate or some such bullshit.  And why not price at $75 and be done with it!!

The upgraded plan moves us from 3G to 4G/5G (when it becomes available) for $95 – $10 AUTO Pay discount or $85 a month and let’s not forget $20 a line to activate or some such bullshit.  And why not price at $85 and be done with it!!

The VALUE plan I was offered as consolation costs $80 per month for 4G/5G (when it becomes available).  No AUTO Pay discount. BUT still $5 less than the $85 for upgraded with discount.

I have it on good authority that under the old 3G plan we did get speeds of 4G LTE already but I guess they’re taking that away.  My non-technical mind seems to think these air waves cannot be contained really.  I wonder if with our 4G phones we’d still be hitching a ride on the faster 4G waves even under the old plan.  Which they offered to retroactively put back btw.

For Pete’s sake!  How did we ever LIVE without SMART phones?  What should we do? Take the old plan back?  Go VALUE? Leave well enough alone?  Which is what I did because B doesn’t care. Which is what they are banking on because I am a Luddite light.

End rant!  FIN!

As always, more to come.

#1linerWeds. 7/10/19

Here’s a good one for anyone who says they do not have time to read.  My suggestion is make time 🙂  Well if reading for joy is your thing anyways.

Books don’t take time away from us,” she said. “They give it back. In this age of abstraction, of multitasking, of speed for speed’s sake, they reintroduce us to the elegance—and the relief!—of real, tick-tock time.”

Elizabeth Berg

Rules and Ping Back

Uh Yea, That’s Gonna Leave a Mark

The title does not fit the post … I have no mark only a very sore neck.  Ya see I got a new pair of glasses recently.  I was all excited to be rainbow styling.  I was on vacay and not looking at my screen.  Sweet nirvana aka heaven aka time stopped y’all truly it did.

Yesterday was my first day back using le PC.  I thought I was losing my mind.  Everything was blurry.  I kept craning my neck to see.  When I held my glasses up to the center of my forehead, I could see just fine.  Back on my nose and blurry again.  Ugh 😦  I guess the bifocal line went in the wrong spot.

I LOVE my eye doctor but his staff well ….  The whole company was re-branded in an effort to save this once stellar flagship from imploding.  This was the first year I was brave enough to get my frames from them because of the new system.  Sadly much like the old.  My measurements are way off.  Let’s see what the behemoth that is Visionworks can do.

I feel guilty for not going back.  I should try and give them a chance.  At least I will get my exam done there.  What would you do fine folks of bloglandia? Inquiring minds want to know.

As always, more to come.

For 7/7/19 ~ “Dog Days Are Over”

Jim gives us the following #SLS prompt for today – July 7, 2019 – Zodiac animals those being a Rat/Ox/Tiger/Rabbit/Dragon/Snake/Horse/Sheep/ Monkey/Rooster/Dog/Pig.  

I have to say before I get into the music that I had the MOST delightful time picking a song.  As my compulsion pulled me, I tried to find a song for every animal.  With more options than I knew what to do with, I sat with analysis paralysis trying to find perfection.  And that search was amaze balls.  However perfection is an illusion.  I was going to take the easy route and go with Survivor’s Eye of The Tiger since I alluded to it last week but then I was reconnected with Florence + the Machine.  The rest shall we say is history.  What a grandiose introduction.  LOL 🙂   I hope you enjoy.

Lyrics
Happiness, hit her like a train on a track
Coming towards her, stuck still no turning back
She hid around corners and she hid under beds
She killed it with kisses and from it she fled
With every bubble she sank with a drink
And washed it away down the kitchen sink
The dog days are over
The dog days are done
The horses are coming so you better run
Run fast for your mother run fast for your father
Run for your children for your sisters and brothers
Leave all your love and your longing behind you
Can’t carry it with you if you want to survive
The dog days are over
The dog days are done
Can’t you hear the horses
‘Cause here they come
And I never wanted anything from you
Except everything you had
And what was left after that too, oh.
Happiness hit her like a bullet in the back
Struck from a great height
By someone who should know better than that
The dog days are over
The dog days are done
Can you hear the horses
‘Cause here they come
Run fast for your mother and fast for your father
Run for your children for your sisters and brothers
Leave all your love and your loving behind you
Can’t carry it with you if you want to survive
The dog days are over
The dog days are done
Can you hear the horses
‘Cause here they come
The dog days are over
The dog days are done
Can you hear the horses
‘Cause here they come
The dog days are over
The dog days are done
The horses are coming
So you better run
Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Florence Leontine Mary Welch / Isabella Janet Florentina Summers
Dog Days Are Over lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group