Oh RatZ!

Okay all you English majors, don’t be harshing on my misspellings.  What happened deserves a RatZ.   With a capital Z!

File this story under the category of you can’t make this stuff up.

Here is where I mentioned cows and putting my car in the shop.   I got my car back and you will never believe the cause of the problem.  Guess?  C’mon.  Would you like to play this game?  Going once … going twice … Don’t wanna.  Well okie dokie.  I’ll tell ya.

James:  Jill this is James give me a holler.

Me (returning voicemail): Hey James, what’s the verdict?

James: Remind me, you still live in the country?

Me: Yes, same place.  Why?

James: You’ve got RatZ.

Sure enough said, RatZ chewed through wires affecting my stabili-trac, ABS and A/C.  According to James, the insulation around the wires is like candy to them mice.  He said it happened at his deer lease about two years ago.  They got two barn cats and no ratZ have been seen since.

So odd, we have community cats and have never had a rat problem in the 19 plus years we have lived here.  We do not keep anything out that might attract them either.  The dogs are outside most of the time too though in their luxury suite.  Spot has been known to eat a bird in mid flight.  I’m sure he’d attach a rat.

When I took my loaner vehicle back to my father in law, he told me he believes it was parking at the Riverwalk with all that construction.  I was there four years without incident but the construction is new which might cause the ratZ movement.  Then there is being back at the mother ship and my recent memory shared of the varmints who live there.  B reminded me though that was more likely for raccoons but ratZ?  I have heard we have them all over the building.

Now I am on high alert.  I am ready for a rat to jump out at me while I am driving.  Like an wanna-be airbag.  Lawd yes, I am neurotic.  I am also looking around my parking space for remnants.  B says it didn’t happen here.  Two nights with traps and poison have gone undisturbed.  Hmm, inquiring minds want to know how this happened.  I will just have to settle for random acts of strange.

As always, more to come.

 

I Win!

I’ve said before that my mom was a garage sale shopper.  I hate paying full price for anything.  Re: shoes I wear them until the fall apart.  You’ve all seen it right here.

I had a pair of brown boots that I had to throw away since they basically fell apart.  I think I had them about a decade.  They were cheap to begin with but that’s my MO anyway.  Today I was looking for replacements when lo and behold, I received an email about a 3 hour sale.  30% off ANYTHING!  I also had a $20 off boots expiring today.  I chatted up the online helpers at Designer Shoe Warehouse (DSW) to see if I could stack my discounts.

Drum roll please – ratta tat tat ratta tat tat ratta tat tat

Full price $199

Compared to DSW price of $119

Clearance $49.99

Minus $20 and 30% (of what I am not sure but I do not care)

Total $16.19 – woo to the hoo!!

I will have them in 4 to 7 days – no shipping fees either.

See I told ya I won!

Happy Sunday!!

As always, more to come.

Lemons, Maui from Moana, and the Purge

I posted this yesterday.  Then promptly found my first lemon.  Which is good because I am making a mighty tasty lemonade.  I re-connected with a former teammate who I may never have seen again had it not been for my move.  She is someone who our former boss sat next to me on purpose telling us we HAD to become friends.  We didn’t HAVE to do anything.  That happened all on its’ own.  Yay for catching up.

Today I was at an offsite planning conference.  The theme was luau.  Our host is a fantastic guy.  He wore a Maui costume.  Hilarious.  Basically was like skin-tight bodysuit with fake tattoos all over, giving the appearance of being shirtless, grass skirt, and of course the black curly wig.  Convos were sort of like this …

Thanks Moana!

I’m Maui

Hey C, are those your pajamas?

No! it’s a costume

You sure?  Looks like your pjs

I’m sure, I bought it off Amazon

You can see his jiggle

Oh my god, I meant his middle

I’m still laughing

In between the obsessing of course

I had a VIP meeting tomorrow that was cancelled for like the 4th time.  The other cancels were re-scheduled but this time no new planner was forthcoming.  My mind goes crazy with making up reasons for the cancel, that probably isn’t a cancel but rather an un-invite because why?  well because … you know they must hate me.

Me to friend – should I text big boss and see if meeting is really for sure cancelled?

Yes don’t overthink, just do it

Me … never did – over thunk it of course

Me at home to B … I’m gonna text big boss about cancelled meeting, tell him I will be offsite but available if anything changes

B – you just said it was cancelled

Me – yes but I don’t want to be offsite again tomorrow if I’m needed onsite

B – didn’t you just say the meeting was cancelled?

Me – yes off of my calendar but maybe there is a new planner I didn’t get

B- then you didn’t get it, so you don’t go – sheesh

Well of course, that is logical but why be logical?

I’m dying of esophageal cancer anyway

Not today but maybe

My anxiety is not a joke or meant to make light of someone diagnosed

I am waiting for my other shoe to drop

I’m worried and not taking that damn medicine which I took for about 4 days and promptly stopped when someone shared on FB a warning that Zantac causes cancer.  This med I took is the pharmacy grade of Zantac. The package insert says may cause kidney cancer.  Seriously??? Yes Meredith Grey.

This morning I spit up bright red blood.  A minuscule amount.  I flossed; there were no bleeding gums.  Blood came from my nasal area most likely but I am sure it is acid re-flux turned esophageal cancer despite no other gerd type symptoms.  All day today my throat was sore and I hurt … achy all over.  I pounded down a boatload of Halls for temporary relief of my throat.  Nothing cures the aches.  Nothing quite like writing out my stupidity.  Damn that purge felt good.

See you later folks.

As always, more to come.

 

 

Homage to the Little Dog

Inspired by my fellow Texan by way of somewhere else maybe?  I need to ask John where he originally hails from one of these days.  I could not find any video of the entire “Where oh where” song.  Those lyrics may be lost forever.

The little dog song as we called it growing up was sometimes coupled with “How Much is that Doggie in the Window” when we broke out the 45s to take a listen.

Reading John’s post reminded me of something from earlier today.  I may not be able to remember all the lyrics of days past but I can retain most of my earlier in the day memories.  Anyhow, Lulu and I were out gallivanting around this tax-free weekend.  Amidst our high-jinx, somehow songs of my youth came up … songs like the one above.  But not that specific song.  Any song we knew by heart.

Our main discussion yet again centered around physical beauty.  You see we had just gotten Mani-pedi’s.  The torture pure spa luxury we go through!  I mentioned how my hands really show my age and make me look ninety!

img_5037

Lulu tells me not to say things like that.  And that even 90 year old hands are beautiful.  And like that “Everything is Beautiful” by Ray Stevens popped into my head.

Ah now that’s the stuff.

As always, more to come.

17 More Days

I am close y’all.  Today is day 348 for posts in a row.  As I look back over the last almost year, I wonder what was I doing on this day.   Only nice thing about FB is that feature of having memories pop up.  Maybe we could petition WP to do the same.  Sure archives are fine but a memory would be icing on the frigging cake doncha think?

Hey youse guys who run the blogosphere make it happen will you? Pretty puhleese with sugar on top.  Since I can’t eat sugar, I may as well add that sweet white stuff to my wishes.  Too much?  Well of course, I’m always too much.  That’s the only way I roll.

Wishing you a wunderbar Saturday!

As always, more to come.

Feedback is a Gift

Once upon a time, I was a new quality manager.  My job was to oversee the auditors and provide a monthly summary to our executive.  WT was a very approachable fellow who always joked around.  Taking liberties one month, I sent my summary email with the tag line:

Feedback is a gift and today is your birthday!! 

The next morning my boss, CJ called me into his office.  Well okay he called me over to his desk because he didn’t have an office.  He gave me feedback on my email.  Apparently it was MY birthday.  My tag line did NOT go over well.

I was embarrassed.  I wanted to clear the air.  Go apologize to WT.  I meant well, I was trying to soften the blow of the month’s less than stellar results.   CJ told me DON’T do anything else … just to NEVER do that again.

Mind you I didn’t modify the official report.  My lame attempt at humor was in the cover email.  Ha!  I still laugh … today is your birthday … because it’s funny.

Years later … or maybe fast forward to June, I saw WT in the hallway at work.  Though I no longer work with him, I brightly smiled and said “Hey W.  Happy birthday! Wink wink.  Get it?”  Surprisingly he did.  We had a good laugh.

And that’s the back story.  Because I’m rambling.  I save my one-liner posts for Wednesdays.  Today is Friday.  Haha.  I slay me.

Okay!  Here we go, here we go now.

I participated in Write Club 2019.  I didn’t place but this year they did something different by offering feedback.  I got about eight word docs with my 500 or less story followed by critiques.  I’m in heaven y’all … hog heaven that is … or I’m high on cotton … lol.  That ain’t right.  I’m something else … tickled pink.  Yep, I am tickled pink.

The first critique was good.  I made his or her top 45, not top 30 but man y’all that’s close when the top 30 compete for reader votes.  My entry was written in an hour-ish, rough draft, not polished.  Yep I’m telling on myself.  I joined for fun with zero expectation of placing.

Guess what critique #2 said?  It said and I quote “this looks like a draft and not a polished piece or perhaps part of a larger story??  Maybe with more context this would make sense.” Winning!

The remainder were neutral.  Several said I had grammatical errors throughout.  Did I think this was #SoCS?  uh ya!  That’s my style.  And I did a head hop thing at the very end.  “Just how did Missy know what Stella was thinking?”  Well geez Louise, mind reading of course.

But I jest!  I LOVE my feedback and I’ll do better next time.  I know what to work on.  Not being facetious either.  Constructive criticism makes us better.  Now I am off to eat b-day cake and ice cream. Maybe play a little pin-the-tail on the donkey.  Hit that pinata.

As always, more to come.