Nervous Nelly ~ 7/9/22

I used to fancy myself as a intuitive person, dare I say someone who had ESP. I have examples of times where I predicted things before they happened. Of course mostly it was luck. Or maybe a bit of educated guessing.

These predictions would always start with the butterflies. That unsettling feeling. That tingle that won’t quit. And I have that today. Right at this moment. Which is why I come here to release the anxiety.

My nerves are like spurs that jingle jangle jingle. If that makes any sense? I have the feeling of foreboding doom. I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop.

B’s mom has been in the hospital for a week. Sadly she rolled out of bed, hit her head on the nightstand, had to be put back into bed, but knowing that something wasn’t quite right, EMS was summoned. At first they wanted B to follow the ambulance because they were sure she would not be admitted. Taking her was just a precaution (or to avoid malpractice). However after a day and a half in the ER, waiting for a bed to open up, she was finally admitted.

At first it was a bit like the Keystone cops. Everyone was running into each other. Figuratively not literally. I think there were four or five different telephone numbers given out because of the room situation. And while she had her cell phone, it was likely out of battery and even if the was charged she has to this day no clue how to use it.

Can you imagine being in the hospital alone, not really understanding anything, with your husband and son frantically trying to get a hold of you? They couldn’t even get a status. Until yesterday that is. Diagnosis: She has been having mini strokes for quite some time. The fall gave her a concussion. She has a very large bruise from where she fell as well to the point where she’s insisting she broke her arm when she didn’t. She is in and out of lucidity. The dementia has been coming on for quite some time. Some of her prior episodes were thought to be reactions to medicine. But now the doctors think it was the strokes all along. Her MRI is showing the evidence.

On Thursday, she turned 79. Too young for this stuff to already be happening. But life choices, had other ideas. Sadly and quite honestly the dirty laundry is that even 20 years ago little Lulu remembers her Grandma drinking her bubbly at 9 o’clock in the morning. And continuing throughout the days upon days upon days. Maybe that’s something I should’ve kept quiet about it. Nope, this calls for honesty, it is what it is, and maybe her story can be a PSA to others. In hindsight, I have to wonder, if we had said something sooner, would she have tried to stop? Not that it matters really because we can’t re-create the past. Time to move forward.

B & Pony are at the place in Rocksprings today. They almost stayed home because you know his mom/grandma is in the hospital. But B decided to go since there isn’t anything he can do but wait. He might as well work/keep busy. And I sit here nervous, worried to pieces that we will get the call while he is gone.

Alrighty folks. Let me let you go. I’m gonna walk this off. I have found that movement can be a cure to what ails you

As always, more to come

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10 thoughts on “Nervous Nelly ~ 7/9/22

  1. Whatever happens, may she be comfortable and pain free. Try to remember that no amount of worrying will change anything (easy to say I know!), and may you all look after each other with love and compassion. 🤗

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  2. Thinking positive thoughts. You can’t beat yourself up about other people’s choices. I know it’s hard. We just lost a friend who had a drinking problem. He wasn’t even old enough to collect Social Security yet 😦

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