#SLS ~ 7/31/22

This week the theme is a song about Illness, Injury, Scars suggested by Angie of King Ben’s Grandma.  Thanks Jim for hosting! These prompts fit my mood. I picked Scars by Rush. Writer(s): Neil Peart, Alex Lifeson, & Geddy Lee. I’m not feeling terribly chatty, I just love the bassline in this song. Hope you enjoy too.

As always, more to come.

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Sunday Reflections: A Week in Review

Oh the joy this past week has been. Said in my very sarcastic and disingenuous voice. For there is no joy in Mudville, mighty Jilly has struck out. Get it? A poem from my 8th grade memory banks has resurfaced. Can I get a do over please?

I did a lot of strolling down memory lane last week. Looking at scrapbooks and other assorted memorabilia from my youth. It got so bad that at one point that B came to me sitting on the floor in my office, took the scrapbook from my hands, made me stand up, and hugged me. For the longest time, he said nothing. Then gently he said Jill, this has to stop, you’re only hurting yourself.

We’ve had the discussion many times before. I can’t make people act a certain way, the way I would act in the same situation. To be loved just as I am, just for simply existing. Some people flat out don’t care and others care too much. Guess which group I fall into?

What galls me the most is how I sit around waiting for scraps. Any little bit of acknowledgement, I glom over & hang onto for dear life. Gives me hope for something more concrete one of these days. And I panic because I feel like I’m running out of time.

No roll call today. Instead I will wallow in my self pity party. Those sad soirees are happening more frequently than my liking. I promise I won’t stay here long. I just need a break from pretending I’ve things all figured out. Yeah I know, I wasn’t fooling anyone.

As always, more to come.

#SoCS ~ 7/30/22

Good morning fine folks of bloglandia!! The final Saturday in July 2022 is here. Woo to the Hoo. Not sure why I’m in such an all fire hurry about except maybe this means we’re one step closer to the fall. C’mon September!

The lovely Linda G Hill writes & I copy paste: Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “wash/awash.” Use one, use both, use ’em any way you like. Bonus points for using both. Enjoy! If you’d like to join in, HERE are the rules & ping back. Game on!

I am awash with emotions at the thought of bonus points! Okay, we have derailed, earworm alert, I was born late, meaning I took on the likes of a generation ahead of my own. This is a South Pacific moment! The musical opened in 1949! Was later made into a movie. Could have started as a book? Who knows because this is stream & I’m not stopping to research.

Bet there are some of you reading this post who have no idea what I’m talking about. Funny how some songs hold a memory or two. I never saw the musical on Broadway but the movie is something we would’ve watched as a family. Which is why my first thought when I saw wash was this clip from the movie version …

Alrighty, on tap today is a piercing for Lulu. I’m riding along so we can share a nice breakfast & to get out of the house. Well that and to scope out an artist for my first tattoo. Nothing good can come from staying inside feeling sorry for myself. P/T continues with no harm despite not much improvement either. Our leak from yesterday was fixed & we’re still on track for Monday delivery of the new refrigerator. I’d say that’s pretty darn good. Wishing you a sensational Saturday my friends!

As always, more to come.

Friday Free For All ~ 7/29/22

We bought a new refrigerator to be delivered Monday. To prepare, we moved the old one out. We were planning to take it to the place in Rocksprings. Win/win.

That’s when we found out the dang thing had been leaking for who knows how long. You see the ice maker stopped working some time ago. B is usually very handy but he didn’t think he could fix it & didn’t even try. Despite the ice maker being turned off, we never turned off the water line leading to it. Now that everything is out of there, the darn water won’t stop running. A very steady but not terribly fast leak. Now we need a plumber before we can get the refrigerator.

We’ll have to give up the old refrigerator. The back side is completely rusted out. Oy vey! Never a dull moment at Casa de Dub. I freaking give up. But looking on the brightside, at least we have water. Thank goodness it’s FriYay! Alrighty, tat-ta for now.

As always, more to come.

Thursday Thoughts ~ 7/28/22

I’m back in physical therapy (P/T) giving it a 110% chance to avoid more invasive treatments. Of course my MSU = making stuff up is sure it’s cancer. Deep in my bones cancer is where my crazy mind goes.

To be fair, I hurt almost constantly. I get relief when I sleep and for a while in the mornings. Sitting is worse than standing. And today I’m beyond sore because I got an adjustment yesterday after P/T. Felt good while the angel who is Christine was working her magic and the ice afterwards was as fan-freaking-tastic as I remember. But right now it’s ouch 😣. She warned me I’d feel it today but also if I stick with her, I’ll improve. No skipping for me. Gentle yoga type exercises and at-home P/T stretches at night, for life.

I go back to my PCP for reassess once I run through these P/T sessions. There’s a plan B if I don’t improve. You’ll be the first to hear about it here.

Oh and on a positive note, a friend who I went to elementary school with works there. Last time I saw her was 1977! She told her coworkers about a party I had at my house. She remembered some sort of game we played where we followed strings. Kind of like Twister with thread. She had no idea 🤷‍♀️ why she’d keep that memory. She said probably because it was fun 🤩.

I’ve no memory of any parties but knew that had to be my mom. She was a planner & I’m pretty sure the party game was all her idea. My relationship with her was complicated for reasons I’m just now coming to terms with but this made me smile. Cheers to more pleasant memories of the woman who loved me when no one else would.

Okay, time to get to work. Boo! I’d rather stroll down memory lane a bit longer. Oh well! Until next time.

As always more to come.

#1linerWeds. 7/27/22

Another from Bob’s Burgers. This requires a backstory. Another family trip from hell. The family is taking a snake 🐍 back to some sanctuary. Their guide is riding along with them. The convo went something like this …

Bob: Are we almost there?

Guide: Yes! We’re 10 minutes away …. Uh from it being another hour & 1/2 until we get there!!

Bob’s Burgers 🍔

Now that’s funny 😁 (or not). Speaking as someone who took a ton of road trips growing up, this was very relatable.

Rules and Ping Back

As always more to come.

Share Your World ~ 7/26/22

Melanie provides the questions & I toos in my two cents, worth 1/2 a penny due to inflation.

QUESTIONS

What mythical creature would improve the world most if it existed? A fairy who could make pain disappear. Not just physical pain but mental anguish too.

Should the death penalty be re-instated?  Why or why not? In Texas, we have the death penalty & the distinction of being #1 executing on average 12 people a year. I’m not quite sure how I feel about that. Makes me sad, I guess. Very, very sad that there isn’t another alternative.

Spontaneity Or Stability? Depends on the situation, mostly I crave stability & fortunately I hit the jackpot with that but every once in a while to be spontaneous is exciting. My goal one day, if I ever get my head on straight again, would be to get on an airplane to anywhere with only my purse. I could buy what I need when I get there or better yet go somewhere that doesn’t require me to need very much. If only, …

Can a dog/cat suffer? What about an ant? What about a plant? What about a bacteria cell?  Why do some humans think we’re the only species that does suffer?  Your thoughts? Yes a dog or cat can suffer. As for ants, plants, or bacteria cells, I have no idea. Humans are one of the most egotistical of the species which is why some of us (not all) think we’re the only ones who suffer.

GRATITUDE SECTION

What are two things that have brightened your day today? First, I accidentally slept past the alarm. I quit snoozing after reading an article that said I’d feel better if I just got up with the alarm. Going on two years now, I just get the “eff” up. Today after a bad yesterday & for reasons that will be kept under wraps, I said ‘eff’ it, I’m going to snooze today. Only I hit stop on my alarm instead of snooze. Oh well, I got an extra hour!! I must’ve needed it. Second, I learned a trick for a new tool at work where you right click to open a tab in a new window then you can toggle back and forth. This tip will make for smooth sailing on an upcoming assignment.

haiku – prize & wait ~ 7/25/22

for years I wondered

the prize just beyond my reach

was it worth the wait?

Okay, I’m not crying you’re crying. I’m sure many things are worth the wait but when one has an idealized notion of things, as I surely did, disappointment is inevitable as you learn the truth. Or the truth as you see it. Nobody likes me, everybody hates me, no wonder I was kicked to the curb.

I’ve always had a flare for the dramatic which means I could be making stuff up. I was so sure that knowing would make all my cares go away. I’d get a benefit long overdue. Instead I have more turmoil (self induced) & heart ache coming from unreciprocated love. My heart is bursting at the seams.

Written for Ronovan Writes #Weekly #Haiku #Poetry Prompt #Challenge 420 PRIZE and Wait.

#SLS ~ 7/24/22

Jim tells us to feature a song by a group or an artist that surprisingly never reached #1 on the charts. I picked The Who. They might be one of the most famous bands of the ’60s and ’70s, but they only had one song make it to the top 10 & no number #1s. Here is my favorite Baba O’Riley, songwriter: Pete Townshend. Lyrics within. Hope you enjoy!

As always, more to come.

Sunday Reflections: A Week in Review ~ 7/24/22

There was a flurry of activity this past week. The big surprise is I kept my big mouth shut. Until now that is! I’ve got to spill the tea as the kids say. Lulu hates when I say that. Mom just stop. Okay I won’t say it, I will only write it. lol

The Dubs are doing what we always doing, laughing to keep from crying. I may or may not have mentioned that MoMo was released from the hospital into a nursing home for P/T. Her MRI confirmed that she was not having reactions to medication as was previously thought but instead she was having a series of strokes. This has left her unable to walk. Oh and she did break her arm, that part was true but we’ve yet to figure out why they never told us that. It happened at the beginning when she fell out of bed, hit her head, and the rest of the events unfolded. Her mind is not right either. Alcoholic dementia. No way to sugar coat that. In her current state, she has come up with some fantastic stories I tell ya what.

PoPo & B are doing their best to talk to her when she gets riled up but that is not enough. As a favor to PoPo, B asked Lulu & Pony to call her. Not me. I’m the outlaw who tried to put her into a home when this all first started happening in January. B warned them that she wasn’t making sense. She claims the facility is run by homeless people stealing her underwear. Yep, cannot make this stuff up. Pony asks do I really have to call her? Just tell her I did. Haha. Then he talked his sister into going first.

Lulu was able put her psychology degree to work. I heard her on the phone. She’s got her community liaison voice on. Sugary sweet. Just as agreeable as can be. Afterwards she comes to tell us. No mention of homeless underwear stealers but instead she is getting out Monday & PoPo can’t keep her there because the doctor knows what’s best. She said PoPo & I are at it again, conspiring to keep her locked up. Well this go around folks, I purposefully stayed OUT of it. She also said her mean grandson who says awful things to her was probably in on it too. The mind is a funny thing, she is remembering Christmas Eve 2019 where truly some ugly things were said but they were all warranted!! Doh! They even made amends with him apologizing & her accepting his apology (we thought). Pony has decided he is not going to call her for fear that would make things worse.

Tuesday was the first day B was able to visit her & Thursday they called to tell him she tested positive for Covid that morning during the weekly screening. He called his doctor who cancelled his pre scheduled appointment for Friday. They told him no need to quarantine since he is double vax & double boosted but to wear a mask around people for a full 10 days regardless. He needed to test in 5 days (for sure) or if symptoms develop. If negative test on day 5, halfway there and should continue to wear a mask for at least 5 more days. If positive and/or he develops symptoms to call them back for next steps. He has remained symptom free & yesterday’s day 5 test was negative! Oh and I should mention MoMo is asymptomatic. That’s another thing she claims is a farce/ruse to keep her locked up. She insists she doesn’t have the virus. But what are you gonna do? She has to stay there until she is mobile again. Tomorrow is another big pow wow to game plan her treatment plan. Wish B & PoPo luck!

And because this blog is all about ME. I started back to physical therapy last week, trying to stay upbeat. The pain isn’t worse but it isn’t any better. I’m giving time, time & all that jazz. Despite finding out family health history which I was positive would help, I’m no closer to a diagnosis much less a cure. Feeling a bit sorry for myself.

Now for a very quick roll call then I’m going back to bed. Lazy day Sunday is the ticket. Tomorrow is another day for bright & shiny faces.

Peace y’all. Until next time. Stay safe.

As always, more to come.