Where do I begin? To tell a story of some convoluted crap. There may be some love there but there’s also so much angst. Where do I start?
Ha! Three guesses for which song I borrowed. Give up? Move on over Ali and Ryan. This isn’t Love Story ❤️. Instead this is Jilly’s story. My 🖤 emotions are raw as I wear my fragile ❤️🩹 on my sleeve.
“Nobody cares Jill” is what B says to me but only to fiercely protect me from more pain 😔. He really believes, that if I believe, that no one cares, that I can’t possibly be disappointed. He sees his Pollyanna bride full of innocence and naïveté who hopes beyond hope that feelings are mutual. But the short answer is you can’t force a relationship on people.
Sadly, I’m damaged. Through the fault of no one. I’m not in this to assign blame. I’m not bitter or angry 😤 anymore. Not that I ever really was bitter or angry. Instead, I was so far in denial that I was sans all emotion. Does that even make sense? A paradox of feeling so much that you lose feelings. Comfortably numb.
Alrighty that is all for today because I am spent. I’ll write more later with less innuendo. Or not. 😂
As always, more to come
J-Dub's Grin and Bear It 