Where do I begin? So many swirling thoughts are flooding my brain. Got a feeling that I’m going under but I know that I’ll make it out alive (thanks Shawn Mendes). But this isn’t a lost love feeling. Thankfully I don’t have that on top of all my other woes. Counting blessings in an attempt to stay afloat. It’s just ….
Just what? Well hell if I know. If I knew, I wouldn’t be here philosophizing and such. I’d be out enjoying life. As I sit here pondering my emotional state, I realize that my life has changed in extreme ways that I never thought possible. Yet I minimize the aftereffects. Today I finally realize that acting like nothing has changed has worn out it’s welcome. I need to have a burial pyre for what’s gone so I can replace those feelings of loss with feelings of hope. Yep I know I call Hope a fickle bitch sometimes. Not today, giving Hope some much needed TLC.
I’m not able to verbalize what took me down this path of self reflection but today I got up and made it a point to reach out. Instead of sitting back and waiting or judging by what I saw online, I said I’m going to initiate. In two cases, the responses were so similar to mine it was eerie. One said “doing the best we can” and “stay in touch” while the other said “hanging in there”. And I thought these people were out there having fun without me. Extreme FOMO in my case. I was so sure I’d be starting out alone and brand new which is tricky for this introverted peoplely person. Yep still making up words. Some idiosyncrasies will stay. Okay, enough thinking and more action. Off I go into the wild blue yonder.
As always, more to come.
J-Dub's Grin and Bear It 