Thursday Thoughts ~ 10/21/21

Time keeps on slipping, slipping, slipping into the future … all Steve Miller Band like. Seems to be the theme this week or forever. A constant topic of conversation when running out of small talk aka chit chat. We had a virtual conference this week, the second one we did through Zoom. Just not the same as being together in person but I’ll take it. Almost easier for the introverts of the world.

Preventing me from enjoying the moment is my dreaded enemy anxiety. The cycle continues sadly. Up, down, up, down or loop-de-loop. Enough to make me on the verge of hurling. Ugh. Pulling deep to find coping mechanisms from past therapy and really wanting to get back into that again. I tried earlier this year but after two or three sessions, I was cut loose. Told I was a breath of fresh air with a good handle on my life. I was all like what? Have you met me yet? Not even close. I’m a mess.

I’m worried again about my Lulu. She seems fragile. Crying over work and the stress of being moved from one call type to another without warning. Change is hard for her but life is nothing but change. I don’t want to diminish her feelings, she is entitled to them. Ya know, feel her feels so that they do not manifest in bad ways which has happened in the past. I can’t live waiting for the other shoe to drop. I just wanted something better for her. To not be mini-me. Heart on your sleeve gal isn’t fun.

Oh well, in the spirit of not living as if the other shoe is going to drop, I’m changing my mindset to something else. Turning that frown upside down. Kicking anxiety to the curb. Plus today is my Friday. Yay to a three day weekend!!

As always, more to come.

13 thoughts on “Thursday Thoughts ~ 10/21/21

  1. Hang in there Jilly we are all wrecks of one kind or another. Oh! It’s always been hard being a parent but since lockdown and pandemic, life and anxiety have got so difficult. We go through agonies watching our children suffer, how ever much we think it is it is not all our fault! Hugs πŸ’œπŸ’œ

    Liked by 1 person

  2. It is so hard to watch the kids struggle. Like really, did I do something wrong in the parenting department that they are not now able to cope in the world? Can I fix everything for them? No and no but it still isn’t easy. I’ve been listening to meditations in the morning when I walk the dog. Very helpful if only to teach me how to breathe. Hugs to you and Lulu.

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    1. Watching them struggle is the absolute worst.
      And yes, you’ve read my mind. Rationally I know there is nothing I can do to control but I still feel guilty. Another plug for meditations; definitely sounds beneficial.

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  3. Anxiety has increased so much during the pandemic. It is such a kick in the pants. It is so hard to watch what it does to our children and grandchildren which makes it even harder to practice self care. I listen to 30 minutes of meditative music as I go to sleep at night. It helps. I am trying to focus on early prep for the holidays and just enjoy what comes. I am thankful to be retired. I send you peaceful and calming thoughts. (And the counselor you had should be fired.)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks so much Maggie. I like what you’re doing for self care. Meditative music sounds wonderful. I appreciate the peaceful and calming thoughts. I can feel them like a warm blanket. πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

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