04/22/2021 – J-Dubs Grin and Bear It

my anxiety is on high alert

the weather makes my jumpy

we survived snowmageddon

we surely should survive a little rain

but for some reason ….

my thoughts are

popping like old fashioned pop corn

in hot oil

no less

Y’all, I’m writing to get out the heebie jeebies. Why? Oh Why? So many swirling thoughts.

My Gastro doc has ordered a CT scan with contrast which has been scheduled. If the test is negative, she is putting me on one of two meds, tricyclic antidepressants, that are no longer prescribed for that purpose though. These meds in very low doses help with nerve pain. Which is the likely culprit of my woes once the CT rules out anything else.

I make no secret that I am RX adverse. While I have been on a certain med for over a decade, I really do not like taking something without a firm diagnosis. I have already read the side effects of both potential meds. Elderly can have heart problems and everyone can have eye pressure issues. Not likely with low doses but still gets me going. My obsessive mind worries that I will die of a heart attack trying to get pain relief. Either that or go blind. Especially since I already have eye pressure/vision issues.

What I’d rather have happen in all silliness would be for TX to legalize a certain substance which in my mind is somehow “safer” because it is all “natural”. “Alright, alright, alright”. Hehe. If anyone gets my innuendo, drop me a comment. I’d love to hear your thoughts on the matter.

As always, more to come.

Starts with S – Show True Colors

Jilly’s Take: The origin of this idiom goes back to 1551. Wowser! Who knew? My take has always leaned toward the negative. Someone being a fake until sH!t hits the fan showing you who they really are behind the facade. Isn’t façade such a lovely word? Words are my jam. Moving on …

People showing their true colors is why I cooled it on facebook aka Faux Book (FB). I probably should have left when they banned my blog. The week I deactivated my account for seven days, my screen time dropped by over 40%. I am no longer deactivated because I have way too many pictures there which I have not figured out how to move. Stuff back to 2011, pre-blog which are not saved anywhere else. The only thing I do on FB these days is create picture stories, no words which fly out to Instagram. Any comments go to my private messenger. I can reply without any fanfare on my actual feed/page. I also unfollowed several people to save myself from myself with that urge to be a keyboard cowboy.

For more on today’s idiom LOOK here.

Now for the song. In my effort to be more positive, I think of Cyndi Lauper singing the anthem for being yourself! Showing your true colors in a good way. Show your real authentic self. Be damned what others say or think. Here is a stripped down version. Songwriters: Billy Steinberg / Tom Kelly.