I used to drop this stuff in a journal but since I’m not actively keeping a journal anymore, I’ve started tidbits on the blog. This is where I can get the intrusive thoughts out of my head. Let the world see how neurotic I truly am. Ha! Which you’ve known all along. Ain’t no big surprise.
Lulu started a new job today. That makes three places but four attempts. Ugh!
The first post college gig ended due to ISP woes. Then she got back in same place but quit before she restarted. There are very painful reasons she didn’t go back. Things that are not my story to tell. I’m still very grateful that Kyle gave her a second chance. I’m also glad she didn’t go back because the ISP woes returned. We could say the other bad stuff happened for a reason savings a repeat ISP debacle.
But now the ISP excuse is behind us. Even in Snowmageddon, we were fully functional. We also have our own concierge at Spectrum who promises no more trouble.
Gig two was in person as a mental health technician helping girls just like herself. I was very skeptical but helping people is good. Maybe doing so would give her a sense of self worth.
She made it through two days of orientation but actual day one on the job was the last. She shows up and no one even knew she was supposed to be there. They put her on the wing with the older girls. Apparently the worst unit if she is to be believed. She did shadow someone who couldn’t be bothered and sometime during the 12 hour shift, she was threatened with bodily arm. To quote “I’ll use your dead body for a step up and out the window”. Her person casually said “ah don’t worry, they just talk big”. Somehow she made it to the end of her shift but she never went back.
Puts us to gig three. Call center scheduler. She is in orientation as we speak. During lunch I’ve gotten a barrage of texts. It’s bad. She wants to cry. But she’s not stopping. It’s that last sentence I’m holding on to. “Mom I’m not stopping. I can’t quit again”.
Oh but she will. Quit again. Maybe not today or even tomorrow. But realistically this isn’t a forever job. Of course I said something similar 37 years ago.
Ugh! I’ve failed to help her become strong and independent. I want to cry too. But this is not about me! And just maybe this time she’ll figure it out. At least that’s what B thinks. And we all know he’s usually right.
Alrighty. Time to end my worry session. Once again releasing the hounds has helped. If this is meant to be it’ll be. Cue music.
As always more to come.
J-Dub's Grin and Bear It 