A Ramble and A Confession

I have been having quite the week. I laugh to power through but there are times that laughter does not work. Like now. I think I have gone off the deep end.

Okay, I can hear you …

Well not really because this is virtual yet real as opposed to fake rambling. I imagine you’re thinking what’s new?!?! She’s neurotic. I am and I own it.

Okay to I have these physical symptoms that have become impossible to ignore. I had a tele-med appointment on 8/17 and on 8/18 I had labs and now I sit waiting. Scared to find out what the eating habits of the home bound have done to me. Weigh-wise I am good, maintaining but I have known forever that you can be a thin unwell person.

The Sunday before my Monday appointment I was surfing the net and taking surveys. I got two calls this week to follow-up on my responses with offers to assess my health. Despite having my doctor’s appointment, I thought what the hell why not????

The first place was something called Wellness Hormone Center WHC. For the low, low price of $3,000, I get labs, B12 injections, and hormone pellets injected into my backside. The crazy part is I am actually considering this insanity. Because I hurt and I am tired of hurting. And taking pain meds would put me on the path to addiction. Of that I am certain.

The second place was called the Pinnacle. They are a research group trying to diagnose fatty liver. This place does something like a sonogram and labs. If I do not have fatty liver, they cut me loose but if I do, then they try different treatments on me. Uh ya, wait! Why? Cuz I know … that you know … that I know … that I am not going to consent to treatment by these quacks. Are they “real” as opposed to fake doctors????

B keeps asking me what kind of places these are and am I sure? I have no idea to either. My guess is they are pseudo scientists trying to help people OR they are con men and women. And I am always unsure. All of this scares the bejesus out of me but like I said I am tired of hurting.

I’m fairly certain I will not participate in the I pay 3K for hormone and B12 injections. I’m too much of a cheapskate. Re: fatty liver, does me no good to find out I have a fatty liver. Ignorance is bliss. I won’t take the treatments anyway even if I qualify. I can’t un-ring the bell as they say.

I’ll report back if I take a leap of faith right off the ever loving bridge.

As always, more to come.