Heavy Heart ♥️

When I was a child, my mom and Mamaw would takes us to Papaw’s grave. They’d pack a picnic lunch and always had a thermos of coffee and one with Koolaid. The cemetery was maintained by the loved ones. Mom and Mamaw made sure to represent.

They brought the push reel mower for cutting grass around the headstone. We all had a hand in pulling weeds. Fresh flowers and sometimes an ornament or two. After the “yard work” was done, we’d eat.

These are not morbid memories. My brothers and I would run around and play freeze tag or “it”. We had fun. Death was not scary. We talked about Papaw often not just on visiting days. He was in a better place than us.

Then around the age of nine, I had a realization that losing someone was hard. A few days before our caretaking trip, a baby grave was added. The mound of dirt still fresh. As we chased each other, I stopped when I noticed the new polished headstone with the following verse:

King James Version 1 Corinthians 2:9

But as it is written, “Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him.”

Those parents picked that verse because they needed help making sense of their loss. What struck me most was no blame. We don’t comprehend but we know we’re still in His tender care. Taught young Jilly a life long lesson which I used today.

The following email arrived at 10:10 CST

Team –
Really sad news to share that H passed away. There are more details that have been shared, but I felt the only thing that matters is that those of us that had worked with H took a moment to think about him and his family. Take care.

Can’t say I remember the rest of the day. His poor momma. No words, only sadness. My kids rallied around me. They both told me to knock off work. But for me, work was a much needed distraction to avoid thinking about …

His smile. His laugh. His friendly manner. How I looked forward to meetings where he’d be there because he made work fun. How did I not know? How did we miss the signs? Were there any?

Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, …

I look at the calendared meeting that will never come. His last email marked unread. May the souls of the faithful departed through the mercy of God rest in peace. ❤