Lemons, Maui from Moana, and the Purge

I posted this yesterday.  Then promptly found my first lemon.  Which is good because I am making a mighty tasty lemonade.  I re-connected with a former teammate who I may never have seen again had it not been for my move.  She is someone who our former boss sat next to me on purpose telling us we HAD to become friends.  We didn’t HAVE to do anything.  That happened all on its’ own.  Yay for catching up.

Today I was at an offsite planning conference.  The theme was luau.  Our host is a fantastic guy.  He wore a Maui costume.  Hilarious.  Basically was like skin-tight bodysuit with fake tattoos all over, giving the appearance of being shirtless, grass skirt, and of course the black curly wig.  Convos were sort of like this …

Thanks Moana!

I’m Maui

Hey C, are those your pajamas?

No! it’s a costume

You sure?  Looks like your pjs

I’m sure, I bought it off Amazon

You can see his jiggle

Oh my god, I meant his middle

I’m still laughing

In between the obsessing of course

I had a VIP meeting tomorrow that was cancelled for like the 4th time.  The other cancels were re-scheduled but this time no new planner was forthcoming.  My mind goes crazy with making up reasons for the cancel, that probably isn’t a cancel but rather an un-invite because why?  well because … you know they must hate me.

Me to friend – should I text big boss and see if meeting is really for sure cancelled?

Yes don’t overthink, just do it

Me … never did – over thunk it of course

Me at home to B … I’m gonna text big boss about cancelled meeting, tell him I will be offsite but available if anything changes

B – you just said it was cancelled

Me – yes but I don’t want to be offsite again tomorrow if I’m needed onsite

B – didn’t you just say the meeting was cancelled?

Me – yes off of my calendar but maybe there is a new planner I didn’t get

B- then you didn’t get it, so you don’t go – sheesh

Well of course, that is logical but why be logical?

I’m dying of esophageal cancer anyway

Not today but maybe

My anxiety is not a joke or meant to make light of someone diagnosed

I am waiting for my other shoe to drop

I’m worried and not taking that damn medicine which I took for about 4 days and promptly stopped when someone shared on FB a warning that Zantac causes cancer.  This med I took is the pharmacy grade of Zantac. The package insert says may cause kidney cancer.  Seriously??? Yes Meredith Grey.

This morning I spit up bright red blood.  A minuscule amount.  I flossed; there were no bleeding gums.  Blood came from my nasal area most likely but I am sure it is acid re-flux turned esophageal cancer despite no other gerd type symptoms.  All day today my throat was sore and I hurt … achy all over.  I pounded down a boatload of Halls for temporary relief of my throat.  Nothing cures the aches.  Nothing quite like writing out my stupidity.  Damn that purge felt good.

See you later folks.

As always, more to come.

 

 

#1linerWeds. 9/25/19

From the book “Lie With Me” by Philippe Besson and translated by Molly Ringwald

and perhaps writing is a good means of survival

Sounds dramatic but I can relate. I write to expel the demons. Getting those thoughts out of my head somehow makes everything better.

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