I bring this on myself. Dang it! Oh well 😔 I’m early. Again! As always! Ugh 😑. Now I’ve got time to think 🤔. Boo! Over analyze is more like it.
Have you ever wanted something so bad for all the wrong reasons? That’s me. And I’m scared they might call my bluff. Will I have the guts to say no? Will I be able to stand not being the chosen one? I’d like to say yes.
Examining one’s motives is hard work. It’s not exactly attention seeking but along the same line. Validation! I crave validation.
If not this then something else. That whole reason thing I was talking about recently. Besides I’ve a few tricks up my sleeve … old dog 🐶 that I am.
As always more to come.
You can be right or you can be happy.
The two are mutually exclusive.
I say be HAPPY.
In the same vein.
Everything happens for a reason.
The reason may not be clear until much later.
But make no mistake, there is ALWAYS a reason.
Points to ponder on this random Tuesday in May.
As always, more to come.
The following was written in May of 2016. The year Lulu graduated from high school:
Trying to get the wrinkles out of Lulu’s graduation gown. I can’t iron worth a darn. I have the whole set up too … as a wedding gift. Almost 32 years old and still works. The trouble I’m having is purely user error. Unless a garment is wash and wear, I refuse to purchase it. Because I can’t iron. I had the best teacher but it didn’t take.
Times like this I miss my mom. She was an expert at ironing. Her mom brought in extra cash washing and ironing for other people. She and Aunt Annie were my grandma’s helpers. For years, mom ironed baptismal robes for St. MM altar society. She’d iron on the transfer and I’d go over it with liquid embroidery. And of course I’m getting misty eyed now remembering all this.
But they’re happy tears. I’m taking nothing for granted. Lulu deserves for this time to be happy not maudlin. We’re going low key but we’re serenely joyful. Is there even such a thing?
Post script from May of 2019. The thing is that time … May 2016 was very maudlin for reasons of which I still cannot speak. I know going back is impossible. I still wish I knew then what I know now. Oh my how I would have done things differently. But we do the best we can at the time with the info at hand. I remind myself if things has turned out differently, no guarantee they’d be any better now. Actually things might be even worse.