It’s Only Ugly If You’re Vain

I’m overdue for a standing appointment to cover my roots.  I’ve been coloring them since October 2004.  I remember the date exactly because of what happened that caused me to go there … to be so self-conscious that I altered nature in the slightest least conspicuous way.

December 1997 was the year I turned 33.  Lulu was age six days.  We had lots of company to see the new baby and share my birthday cake.  My dear friend JD, upon hugging me hello said innocently enough “hey Frosty, you got highlights, they look good”.  His wife told him to shut up.

You see, I did not get highlights.  My hair was just gray.  Nature at work.  I wasn’t offended.  I loved my friends.  Though I did look a little longer at my hair in the mirror that night.  I resisted any intervention.  I felt I looked okay.

Fast forward to 2004.  I was placed in a new position at work.  I had been working night shift up until the point where our unit was disbanded.  I was grateful to still be employed and with Lulu school-age, I was ready to work days again anyway.

My co-worker had to tell me about this ass hat named “P”.  He told her to go ask me something and being new he didn’t know my name.  Instead he said “go ask the old lady with gray hair who sits across from G”.  My co-worker re-telling me this said she said “who Jill? She’s in her 30’s, that’s younger than me”.  To this day, I have no idea why she told me what P had said.  Can you spell f.r.e.n.e.m.y?

Anyway, I was travelling to the City of Angels that October for my CPCU conferment.  Before I left, I had my first dye job that would be the beginning of many.  Every 10 weeks, to every eight, seven, six and then five.  Truth be told, going three or four would be better for covering those pesky roots completely.  But I stopped at five.

I extended in March … out-of-town.  When I was due again 4/20/19, I was sick as a dog.  I am not scheduled to go back until end of May.  And ugh!  That brings me to our lunch convo today.

Me: My hair looks a mess because I’m over due for my roots touch up.

Mother-in-law: Oh at least it looks like the good kind of gray.

Me: Oh no, it’s wiry as hell.  So ugly!!

Pony: It’s only ugly, if you’re vain.

And with that I am like What? Wait!  I am not vain.  Vain IS the epitome of ugly.  Vain is inside ugly, not surface physical ugly of which there is none.  We are all beautiful in our own way don’t you see?

Hmm.  Points to ponder.  What will I do?  B says “do whatever makes YOU happy” No one around here is making this transition easy for me.  Okay peanut gallery, comments please …

As always, more to come.



24 thoughts on “It’s Only Ugly If You’re Vain

  1. I am 69, hair grey. I made the decision about 18 months ago never to use anymore die. I am embracing my maturity and silver highlights. I still struggle and often think about giving in but no I won’t.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I am not giving in either. I got my hair colored for the last time in May. They say it’ll take a year. In another month or so, I might just cut most of it off. Less distracting that way … and less to do for me.


  2. It really is up to you. I gave up coloring AND commercial shampoo in … 2016, maybe? I’m 45 and have quite a bit of gray. I’ve been getting highlights the last few years, but I keep getting fewer and fewer and going longer and longer without. This summer, I may just do a streak up front.
    My mother has beautiful silver hairs and I love it!
    It’s your hair, you gotta do what makes you feel good 😀

    Liked by 2 people

  3. I think I’m done with dying my hair. I don’t like doing it myself any more, and it costs way too much to go to a salon. So guess I’m in transition right now. Besides, ladies my age don’t actually have coal black hair, which is what I like, so that looks unnatural too. ugh! I guess it will look however it looks until all the dye grows out. You do whatever you want, and don’t pay any attention to what others say. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  4. I don’t know what you see at the bottom of your post when YOU look but I saw this;
    I didn’t read it, don’t know how old she is but you should give it a read…might help.
    BTW: I shaved my head about 4-5 years ago because I was sick to death of WASTING money on my hair…I’m frugal as well and there’s no way in hell I”d pay to have my hair colored/highlighted/frosted or cut every 5-6 weeks! No way.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I am getting more and more gray but at 64 I guess that’s natural. I call it glitter. I don’t wear much/any makeup either and I’m certainly not going to start dying my hair now for a few gray ones. I am what I am and you get what you see. If you want to read about another blogger who transitioned to her natural gray check Shelley at Quaint Revival. She documents the experience. Here is one of her posts on the subject…
    Whatever makes you comfortable is what you should always do.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. I quit doing mine because I became super frugal, but I would if I were going on job interviews or had a sales type position. I’m about 25% silver, which semi blends with the light brown. I think it looks fine! It does make me look older though, but since I quit dating I don’t care. 😀

    Liked by 2 people

    1. This is very helpful Paula. I am super frugal too or try to be. I know I will look older which is what happened to me back in 2004. I was 39 going on 60. Now I’ll be 54 looking 60+. Part of me says who cares? The other parts wants to see if I can get in sooner.

      Liked by 1 person

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