So, … I Blame The Full Moon

I had another sleepless night.  Well maybe that description is not accurate.  I went to bed at a decent hour and fell fast asleep.  I just didn’t stay that way.  I have a tactic that really works which is not to look at the clock when I do wake up.  I also use deep breathing and anxiety techniques.  I almost always fall back asleep as evidenced by weird dreams and waking with a start when the alarm finally goes off.

In my dream this morning, I ran into friends of my parents having lunch.  I stopped to talk and they told me my brother had been moved into their nursing home and I should come back with them to visit him. The scene was all very “Cool Kids” FOX TV show that airs on Fridays.  What I saw in my dream like state was horrific though.  Not comical in the least.  I stepped through a blood spattered tiled hallway.  I was anxious thinking I would be infected but some incurable disease.  I made it down the hallway and was peeking through a window to a rec room.  I saw him sitting around a table with others.  Then I decided I did not want him to see me.  At that moment,  beep, beep, beep goes the alarm.

I realized I did not write out the demons about what happened to my brother.   I felt it was not my story to tell but obviously, his situation affected me.  My subconscious carries the weight.  One day soon, the weight might have to go.  I feel a releasing the hounds in my near future.

As always, more to come.