I can hear you folks … your collective gasp.
Happy! Really? Naw she’s such a moody soul. Always wearing her heart out there on her sleeve. Airing all that dirty smelly laundry.
No worries mi amigos. I can be happy. Really, I can. And shockingly I am happy more often than not. I just fall back into comfortable patterns. Eeyore and me, we’re best buds. Ziggy from the other day. Him too.
The crux of the matter is I am an emotional person and happy is an emotion.
Duh Jill we know that.
One with which I am intimately familiar.
We know that too.
One day I was in the break room at work filling up my water. I ran into two co-workers and smiled saying hello. Actually I waved frantically and my hello was more of an over the top HELLO. <Air kiss, air kiss.> Hi’s, good to see you, and just how have you been all around.
I left with my water and as I got a few feet away, I realized I had left the lid to my cup. As I turned and walked back around, I heard one say “She’s a weirdo. No one is always that happy” and the other one simply said “I know, right”.
They saw me, mouths gaping, eyes wide. I wanted to say bite me bitches. I am sure I was my usual grin and bear it that day. Part of me wanted to agree too. Yes! I am really not THAT happy and scream you have no idea! Instead I got my lid, looked them directly in the eyes and said have a fantastic rest of your day.
The way I was in the break room was genuine. My exuberance just pops out. Most of the time my happiness is always outta control happy. Why? Well because I have experienced such sadness in my 53 years on this planet. Happy and sad, two sides of the same coin … a topic that I might explore in future letter posts.
Now I am reminded of the Pixar Movie Inside/Out. Joy just wanted Riley to be happy. This scene gets me every time.
As always, more to come.
This post was written as part Blogging From A to Z April (2018) Challenge.