If Only …

If only

I had a second chance

I’d  go back to 2014

Before the bottom fell out

Before medication numbed 

But did nothing to cure her pain

Before the treatment

That was worse than the disease

Took hold and grew roots

The disease that is elusive and cunning

That you try to thwart 

As it blows right past

You do the best you can

With what you know at the time

Your best is good enough

Why can’t I believe that?

Because maybe that’s the lie I tell myself

To get through another day

As always, more to come

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