#FlashFiction ~ Invisible

I gone and done did it.  After reading an article on a work related site, I took my FB app off my phone.  Then I wrote the following quick piece:

Robyn: If I go off social media, I will disappear.  Small consolation to the horrors of being alive.

Peter: Really? People are fighting for their lives right now and you? you take your good health for granted.

Robyn: Don’t you think I know that?¬† All those who struggle makes me feel guilty.¬† As for good¬†health, you have no idea. I’ve tried to explain this to you.¬† Mental illness does exist. But it is invisible! Even physical pain is not always visible.¬† I suffer in silence.

Peter:  Not today.  Broken record. Poor Robyn.  Woe is me.  You really need to get over it already.

Robyn: I am unravelling as we sit here. Don’t you see that?¬† Like I said, you have no idea.

End scene.

If I had a nickel for every time I heard this sentiment.¬† Makes me angry and sad at the same time. Screw ’em.¬† I had a therapist who used to tell me to do that … to say screw ’em and mentally prepare myself every time I was faced with negativity or really anything anxiety provoking that was beyond my control. For a brief time that helped until it didn’t.

As always, more to come.

Forbidden Site For Those With Anxiety

I tried to follow a site suggested to me which is all about tips to deal with anxiety.

I filled out the questions of which there were only three.

I have heard nothing back which of course feeds into my anxiety.

And here is where my mind goes as to why they have not contacted me:

  • my selfie profile scared them away
  • they can read my mind and know I am beyond hope
  • I am not worthy (Shwing – Wayne’s World, party on) lol!

More than likely, the request to follow is not manned 24/7 and it is ME not THEY who are are afflicted by the immediate response gene.

Yep, I said it … immediate response gene – IRG.¬† I am gonna patent that sH!t.¬† I am convinced this quirk is hard wired.¬† In my DNA.

Anyhoo. That is all.

I’ll let you know if I make the grade, the cut, or otherwise get in.

As always, more to come.

If Only …

If only

I had a second chance

I’d¬† go back to 2014

Before the bottom fell out

Before medication numbed 

But did nothing to cure her pain

Before the treatment

That was worse than the disease

Took hold and grew roots

The disease that is elusive and cunning

That you try to thwart 

As it blows right past

You do the best you can

With what you know at the time

Your best is good enough

Why can’t I believe that?

Because maybe that’s the lie I tell myself

To get through another day

As always, more to come

Catching Up On My Just Because Reading

I subscribe to a weekly email which brings forth links many articles.  The author who is really just the host had to get special permission from the keepers of communication  at the very conservative financial services firm for which I work.

Anyways, I have enjoyed this treat for a few years now.  I even have a rule in my Outlook account that sends these emails to a special folder.  I was three weeks behind when I decided that today I would catch up.

The articles do have to be business related and I do need to be aware of the world around me to be effective at my job.  If I just so happen to find something interesting on a personal level too, that is bonus. On that premise I made time to read.

First up, if you pay full price at self check out, you are a moron.  Initially I did not understand.  B and I always use self check out and we always pay full price.  We certainly are not morons.  Turns out 40% of folks who scan and self service their own goods STEAL.   What else does one call adding in a code for chuck instead of prime or putting lower price barcodes over the original.  I mean come on.  Who does like that?  I guess I am really naive.  No guessing.  I am.

But that’s just wrong.

As always, more to come.