My better half catches me.
Not gonna lie y’all, the struggle is real. Just because I’ve attempted to cover my tracks and pretend all is well does not make it so. I’m overwhelmed with choices. Inertia has set in. It’s making me act out in ways typically uncharacteristic. Since I’ve lost utter control of my health issues, I fixate of minuscule annoyances and blow that shit out of proportion aka make things up!
Thank you to the kind soul who read between my poetry lines last night and wanted to stage an intervention. I’m fine even when I’m not.
I keep reminding myself at least it’s not cancer. It’s chronic but can be treated. Though the meds insert sent me over the edge.
Me: F it. I’m not taking this shit. I see the rheumatologist in April. April is just around the corner. I’m waiting til then.
B: Jill everything can kill you. Water can kill you. You could drown. You can drink too much or not enough and send your electrolytes out of whack. It’s got all kinds of chemicals in it. But you still drink water right? Take the damn pills. Once a week. I’ll watch you like a hawk. You won’t get necrosis of the jaw. I promise.
Me: F it. Ok. I will take it.
As always more to come.