Tough Day

I’m not gonna lie.  Today was tough.  I cried a couple of times which normally makes me feel a million times better.  Keeping things bottled up makes me emotionally ill.  Crying releases the bad toxins into la-la-land.

Took some maneuvering to get an appointment and I ended up with a knee guy because otherwise I’d be waiting until December.  Timing couldn’t be worse.  We’ve exhausted our PCA funds … something we’ve not done before.  I’m calculating scenarios of worst case and wigging out.

After work, to move myself off the ledge, I went outside to be with the doggies.  They cheered me right up.  Then I set my timer and walked to the mailbox and back then to to the barn and back … loop de loop for about 30 minutes while I sang off key at the top of my lungs.

B gets home and just knows.  He talked me the rest of the way down.  Now I’m perky and smiling again.  And I know I’m truly blessed beyond measure.




This Dance We Do





always pretending

all is well

there is shame

without blame


secrets kept

to make peace

with a love that’s fierce


makes it unreal

to admit

and the walls fall down

bricks to smash

and build again

do we dare?

or do we dance?