Tough Day

I’m not gonna lie.  Today was tough.  I cried a couple of times which normally makes me feel a million times better.  Keeping things bottled up makes me emotionally ill.  Crying releases the bad toxins into la-la-land.

Took some maneuvering to get an appointment and I ended up with a knee guy because otherwise I’d be waiting until December.  Timing couldn’t be worse.  We’ve exhausted our PCA funds … something we’ve not done before.  I’m calculating scenarios of worst case and wigging out.

After work, to move myself off the ledge, I went outside to be with the doggies.  They cheered me right up.  Then I set my timer and walked to the mailbox and back then to to the barn and back … loop de loop for about 30 minutes while I sang off key at the top of my lungs.

B gets home and just knows.  He talked me the rest of the way down.  Now I’m perky and smiling again.  And I know I’m truly blessed beyond measure.




This Dance We Do





always pretending

all is well

there is shame

without blame


secrets kept

to make peace

with a love that’s fierce


makes it unreal

to admit

and the walls fall down

bricks to smash

and build again

do we dare?

or do we dance?


The Poetry of Anxiety 





Out of control



Nothing easy

Mind games bending

All encompassing

Out damn thoughts

The rational mind knows

Torture pending

Waiting for an ending

Which is never as bad as its seems