P.S. To My Love Letters Parts 1-9

P.S. when used in writing, it stands for postscript, from the Latin post scriptum, meaning “written after.” Generally used in letter-writing to indicate something added after the body of the letter was completed and signed. 

Why did I write these letters?

  1. To bring awareness to mental health issues
  2. To help end the associated stigma
  3. To show others you are not alone

I am not a professional, (I just play one on TV).  LOL!  That never gets old.  Ok, it gets old. Ba dum tiss 🥁

I am just a mom who loves her daughter unconditionally.  Loving unconditionally is hard.  I used to have rules and conditions on everything.  My perfectly scripted life was oh so phony.  Not anymore.

These letters were based on my personal experiences.  Each case is unique and I do not presume to speak for others.  That said if our story is relatable and makes one think before casting judgment on others, then I’ve done my job.

Do I think suicide can be prevented/cured?

The answer is not a simple yes or no.  Darn it all, the answer is sometimes.   Let’s equate mental illness to physical illness.  Some protocols work for some people but not always universally.  The 99-year-old heavy smoker going strong and the 20-year-old who never smoked who dies of lung cancer.

Unfortunately death by suicide will continue and the most important thing to me is that we do NOT assign fault.  Suicide loss survivors, you absolutely have to know that you are NOT the cause!!!  Don’t blame yourself, blame the disease that took your loved one from you.  You could not prevent a death by suicide any more than you can prevent a death by cancer.  Easy for me to say having not experienced this but in my heart of hearts I believe this is true.  Be kind to yourselves. You did your best and your best is good enough. 

Does that mean we quit trying?  

Hell no.  Hope is a fickle bitch but we need her.  The stories, the shouting from the roof tops, all brings awareness.  The impact of the awareness is measured successful by reaching at least one soul.  We keep the lines of communication open and we try multiple approaches. We fight! Together! Only in hindsight will we look back and see the hard work was worth it.

How is Lulu doing, do you think she will ever be okay? 

She is in her second year of college.  She still gets anxious over things like her grades. She is still the proverbial people pleaser.  Apple didn’t fall far from that tree.  I think she will be okay but I cannot predict the future.  Now I do not even try to predict/control.  Living in the moment is all we have.  I hope nothing ever happens yet what does happen is meant to be.

In hindsight, those letters are not the terrible awful.  They were written with LOVE!  Despite everything, the events of that day and what followed brought us to where we are now which is a really good place.  Perfect, uh no! Perfect flawed, yes please.

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. Call 1-800-273-8255. Available 24 hours everyday.

Sometimes the right song presents itself. Enjoy and hugs. XOXOXO ❤