Unsweet Sweets

Last week we got a jumbo bag of carrots 🥕.  We didn’t need that many carrots but that’s the only size they had.  Yes jumbo is a new term in produce.  Size right after big and just below ginormous 😆

I know, don’t quit my day job. 

Because my dearly departed parents raised me to waste not want not I had to find a way to use these carrots before they went south. I found a recipe for healthy carrot muffins.  I’ve noticed healthy just means more steps to prepare. 

Shredding carrots was a joy.  Not kidding.  Okay kidding.  Melting coconut oil is so fun.  Not fun.  B comes in and I’m in a swirl of flour. He says “that’s  a lot of work for 12 muffins”. I get him to chop the walnuts for me as I flour the raisins.  Flouring raisins keeps them from sticking.  Who knew?!??

Yummy.  Notice only seven are left.  And there are two of us. One of us ate four and I’m not saying who.  Okay you twisted my arm … it was me.  I guess I defeated the purpose of healthy eating. 

No sugar was used in the making of these muffins.  Unless you count the maple syrup.  No sugar has to count for something.  Uh maybe.  

As always more to come. 

Remember in September – Daily Post #17 for National Suicide Prevention Awareness Month

My Loud Whispers of Hope

“Depression takes root when the picture of the past is more powerful than the picture of the future.”   ~Amy Bleuel

I already know what giving up feels like. I want to see what happens if I don’t. ‬ ~Amy Bleul

Despite much heartache and pain I was able to rise from the ashes and prove the best is yet to come. It is my prayer that those who are struggling know that they are loved and that their story matters. Whatever is happening to you in this moment, know that this does not define your worth. You can conquer the obstacles laid before you and come out stronger on the other side. You got this! I am right here cheering you on along the way. ~Amy Bleuel

RIP Amy Bleuel.

Amy Bleuel is the Founder of Project Semicolon.

Project Semicolon is an organization dedicated to the prevention of suicide. Their…

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Remember in September – Daily Post #16 for National Suicide Prevention Awareness Month

My Loud Whispers of Hope

My name is Amy Bleuel.

I am 31 and I struggle with Suicide

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Life is full of trials that may bring a person to experience great pain or, if we’re lucky, bring us great joy. Those experiences, the good and the bad, are carried through life with us. To not only shape and change whom we are, but to also leave us with the lessons we have learned.

Growing up, for me, was one trial after another. I spent years wondering what I would eventually learn from my experiences and why I had to endure these things. At some points, I even wondered if there could be a way out.

From even a young age, I learned how to endure and to fight. At the age of 6, 2 years after my parents divorced, I chose to go live with my father and his new wife. Living with my father…

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Part 5 ~ That Fateful Day

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline.  Call 1-800-273-8255. Available 24 hours everyday

Her regular therapy appointment ended and we were leaving for school and work.

Lulu: I don’t want to take the stairs, let’s wait for the elevator

Me: Ok

Conversation as we wait for the elevator and continuing once we enter the elevator

Lulu: I don’t want to go to school today

Me: I have to get to work

Lulu: I can’t go to school, take me home and stay with me; you can work from home

Me: What happened?  You just talked to H.  The school year just started and you’ve already missed days

Lulu:  She’s not helping me, talking to her makes things worse

Then Lulu slides down the wall of the elevator in a full-blown panic attack.

In hindsight, I should have taken her home and let her skip school.  Made a day out of playing hooky.  Instead we went back inside.  Then they asked two questions to determine next steps.

H: Lulu, you already told me you do not have thoughts of suicide, has that changed?

Lulu: I don’t know.

H: Do you have a plan?

Lulu: Kind of … I know where my dad keeps the key for the gun safe.

What? The world came to a halt; I did not comprehend what I was hearing.  We sat in the office on a sofa … both of us crying.  H had brought in her supervisor and both women are calling around looking for places to take Lulu. B was out of town.  I was leaving messages.

Same as with trying to make an appointment to see someone, finding help is hard to come by.  Finally success.  H finds a place.  We drive ourselves over and are immediately seen.