Remember in September – Daily Post #13 for National Suicide Prevention Awareness Month

The book What Made Maddie Run: The Secret Struggles and Tragic Death of an All‑American by Kate Fagan was recommended to me by someone at book club. I can’t read it. Too close to home. Not gonna lie folks, this post here scares the ever loving shit out of me. We had the grade conversation earlier today. B and I do not pressure Lulu, she does that to herself. In fact, we would be perfectly happy if she dropped out of college. The world is immense and options are plentiful. Screw traditional.

My Loud Whispers of Hope

Suicide on Campus and the Pressure of Perfection

By Julie Scelfo on July 27, 2015

A traveling exhibition by Active Minds, an advocacy group, consists of 1,100 backpacks representing the approximate number of undergraduates who commit suicide each year. CreditActiveminds.org

Kathryn DeWitt conquered high school like a gold-medal decathlete. She ran track, represented her school at a statewide girls’ leadership program and took eight Advanced Placement tests, including one for which she independently prepared, forgoing the class.

Expectations were high. Every day at 5 p.m. test scores and updated grades were posted online. Her mother would be the first to comment should her grade go down. “I would get home from track and she would say, ‘I see your grade dropped.’ I would say, ‘Mom, I think it’s a mistake.’ And she would say, ‘That’s what I thought.’ ” (The reason turned out to be typing errors. Ms. DeWitt…

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Remember in September – Daily Post #12 for National Suicide Prevention Awareness Month

Well worth the 5 minute of your time. It’s ok, not to be ok.

My Loud Whispers of Hope

This is an extremely powerful and awesome video. Please watch this video and listen to the words of Kevin Hines who survived his suicide attempt of jumping off the Golden Gate Bridge…

He is an awesome speaker and I was very fortunate and blessed to have seen him speak in person. I got to meet him and speak to him. I had some art work exhibited at the event that he was speaking at. He even mentioned that one of his favorite pieces of artwork at the show was mine, most likely because it was titled. “I am not Broken,” and those words are partly in the title of his own book.

I bought his book which was fascinating, interesting, inspirational and well written. It is amazing that he survived his jump and is a true miracle. He was saved by God for sure. I read the book and finished…

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Remember in September – Daily Post #11 for National Suicide Prevention Awareness Month

I was raised to believe otherwise. As a grown up, I have changed my mind on certain issues. My God is a benevolent God.

My Loud Whispers of Hope

Will I Still Go to Heaven if I Die by Suicide?

by Dr. Roger Barrier

Dear Roger,

Hi, I don’t feel comfortable stating my name, but I am 17 and a Christian. I was raised as one and was always told and preached that without God and believing he died for me then I’m not living right. But I have these constant lows lately…I always pray to God for help and strength but I never get anything back and that just makes me so much more angry at him that he won’t help me. I know he is but at the same time, I feel like I’d be better off just giving up. I guess my main question is, if were to one day give up and let in to my depression and commit suicide…would I go to heaven still?

Signed, Unknown.

Dear Unknown,

I was standing on the third-floor balcony…

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Part 1 ~ The Terrible Awful

September 10, 2017 was the 3rd anniversary of the terrible awful.  I missed the occasion but I was not sure I would write about that infamous day anyway.  Part of me believes this is not my story to tell and part of me thinks that during this month of suicide prevention now is the most fitting time.  Part of me wants to SCREAM from the mountaintops.  Part of me wants to crawl into a hole.  I’ve decided I will share the story from my perspective.

In hindsight, there were signs.  To be fair, when someone does not want you to know something, she becomes the master at hiding.  Only in retrospect, with deep analysis does the light bulb go off.  On that day however, nothing could have prepared me for what happened.

Let me start by saying that finding help for someone with mental health issues is difficult.  When that someone is under 18, the ability to find help becomes even harder. As big as San Antonio is, there were slim pickings.  And I have good insurance which makes me cringe to think about the uninsured/underinsured.

That’s all for now.  I have to pace myself.  As always, more to come.