Fortune Cookie 

Lulu and I had our “last” before she leaves for school again supper.  B stayed home and it was just us girls. We opted for Chinese, close to home nostalgic.  Gotta conserve the gasoline ⛽️.  

Lung Fung is East side and proud for over 30 years though I do believe owners have changed hands a time or two.  Not nearly as good as Hsiu Yu but still has a special place in our hearts.  

B and I had our first “real” date at Lung Fung. Afterwards we went to watch his cousin Matthew play football as starting quarterback for the EC Hornets 🐝 B played there too three years earlier.  

This was at the same field where B got walked around the running track in hand cuffs after getting caught setting off fire crackers under the bleachers the year after he had graduated. What a mischievous 😏 little boy.  He should’ve stay home.  Thank goodness he grew up.  Live and learn. 

Lol! Oh the memories!!!! I can picture him head down, cuffed, uniformed officer at his side.  Just like it was yesterday.  Some days feels like it was. He got off with a warning ⚠️; he was told the walk of shame was punishment enough.  

Anywho, I’m feeling weepy and out of sorts. Ready but not if that even makes sense.  Here’s my fortune 🔮 and it’s spot on!!

Now that explains it all!  My moodiness and the roller coaster that we call life!   

As always, more to come.

Are You Sitting Down? Cuz You Should Be

Where do I begin?  I can never just get to the point.  Hence my original blog name – musings and rambling or vice versa.  I feel the need to elaborate … always.

So, … Billy Bob and I received the nicest alarm clock ever as a wedding gift.  The alarm made the move with us four times.  Up until a month or so ago, the alarm still worked.  Like. A. Charm.  For 32 plus years! But alas, charms wear off and/or they just don’t make ’em like they used to.

We got a replacement alarm from Amazon that well … well frankly it sucked.  Returned said sucky alarm and picked up a cheap little Timex one day at Wally World.  Things have changed; I’m just sayin’ and this clock has several buttons for lawd only knows what reasons.  Me?  Well I am super impatient which is why B read the instructions and set everything up.

B: This alarm does not have a snooze

Me: Haha, very funny

B: No really, no snooze

Me: Then what are all these buttons for??

B: Well, here you go (as he hands me a book) figure it out

Me: Uh, yea, Nope.  Nevermind

And what that means is I have not been snoozing for the last month.  Wait!  J-Dub aka Lil Geo Washington cannot tell a lie.  I use my iPhone alarm to snooze.  Desperate times call for … well in my case desperate silliness.  I do not use my workaround snooze every day but more often than not I do snooze.  Bad habits break hard as they say …whoever they are those bastards.

Today I worked from home so as not to expend any gasoline.  SAT we be off the rails with this faux shortage.  People are hoarding!  Ugh!! Right about when we need to get Lulu to CC for check in.  B left his truck here too, tank topped off.  And now plan C.  I will stay here with my Rottweilers, Pit Bulls, and AK 47s (yes this girl is eagle eye, Annie Oakley wanna be) while B takes Lulu because there is no room in the inn.  His truck will be loaded to the gills.  Unless we can figure out a plan D.

Now what has all this got to do with the price of tea in China?  

De Nada.

Except today I didn’t snooze.  Because I didn’t snooze; I didn’t follow my routine.  Which means I did not make my bed.  Which means that my day was not won :(.

Doh! Lil Geo Washington cannot tell a lie.  I had the best day ever!!!!  Why?  Are you sitting down? cuz you should be!  I have the best co-workers ever – you know who you are!

Mid-morning meeting to get the mindset back on track.  Really a productive day overall. As I logged out, on this day (September 1, 2017 in the year of our Lord) I had only THREE, yes count ’em THREE emails in my inbox.  The joy is real y’all cuz I no longer have to scroll.  Victory is small and might be short lived but today victory is MINE!

As always, more to come.

Mother Daughter Relationships (Read to End for Song of the Day)

My mom would have been 85 years old today.  But she died on January 25, 1998.  The anniversary of her death brings up a multitude of emotions.  Yet I have decided (and my mind has the power to choose) I will not be sad.  I am not going to throw a party either.  Maybe I should though?  All I know for sure is this one fact:

I miss my mommy.  

I know the two of us didn’t corner the market on complex but ours was a twisted relationship. I think if you look up co-dependent in the dictionary, you’d see our pictures and names.  For years I was angry with her and this was AFTER she had died.  Too much left unsaid thanks to the passive aggressive dance we did. Still no one and nothing can replace your momma.

I’m not quite sure why I invariably expect perfection from myself and from those closest to me.  How maddening I must be!   And why do the men in my life get a free pass?  My daddy, B, Pony PERFECT in my eyes.  Not your candy-ass perfect either: Rose colored glasses, rainbows, and unicorn exquisiteness! The girls, well poor Lulu she didn’t stand a chance.  Yet I know in my rational mind, perfection does NOT exist.  I’ve got issues that I am working on this is true.  Another fabulous CBT session yesterday.  Patched me right up and gave me more work to work!

And because of that, I remind myself:

We are all perfectly flawed humans

Perfection is overrated anyway.

As always, more to come.

September 2017: Focus on Suicide Prevention

On this first day of September, getting the word out. Thank you Madelyn for providing this information.

ADD . . . and-so-much-more

Awareness Day Articles ’round the ‘net
Depression, PTSD, Chronic Pain and more
– the importance of kindness & understanding
(and maybe an email to your legislators for MORE research funding?)

© Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CTP, CMC, ACT, MCC, SCAC

World Suicide Prevention Day – Monday, September 10, 2017 – every year, since 2003.

The introduction and Suicide Awareness section of this article is an edited reblog of the one I posted in September 2016.  Unfortunately, not much has changed in the past year.

Notice that my usual calendar is missing this month, to underscore the reality that those who commit suicide no longer have use for one.

Onward and upward?

“I am only one; but still I am one. I cannot do everything, but still I can do something; I will not refuse to do the something I can do.” ~ Helen Keller

The extent of the mental health problem

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