In my heart of hearts, the opposite of anything I ever said is what I believe to be true. Miracles do happen, lightning can strike twice, why not?!?!?! But what are the odds? I only ever said anything to protect anyway … to not fall too hard and get in so deep that the inevitable ending hurts or wounds beyond repair. In this short-sightedness, some things in the now that could have been sweet were tarnished. And recently I realize that acceptance of potential hurt is how one can experience true bliss.
In the bigger scheme of things, I am trying to make things right. I know that I cannot control/prevent/protect myself anyway. But oh how I want to … to control and it is in this dysfunctional need that I will seek to find assistance. Confession is good for the soul. And I have done that. But I still need help to gain acceptance of all that I cannot control. I need to accept so that I can truly forgive … forgive myself for the things I have said and done. If only I could have a do over. In absence of that, I will take the next best thing … to more forward.
As Always, More to Come.