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This morning I left my phone at home when we went to Denny’s. Partially on purpose in order to “Be Here Now” and have breakfast conversations with mi familia but also I simply forgot. I am a creature of habit and when I fell asleep reading last night, I left my phone on the living room end table instead of the usual spot.
Well if you have read any of my prior posts, you know we always forget something at the grocery store. This despite always having a list. Since my first trip to the store was without a phone, I was unable to track my steps. I told B and Lulu that this time I was taking my phone and before I picked up the aluminum foil (we are having BBQ chicken tonight YuM!) I was going to walk some laps. You see almost two years ago, I was told I have osteopenia (precursor to osteoporosis) and I need to
talk I mean I need to walk daily (Freudian slip).
After I parked the car at the opposite end of where I needed to be, I checked my step count. 24! What the what? I said what but I didn’t say it twice ;). I am branching out from my real vs. fake and it’s a BIG butt material in my schtick.
Well only 24 steps has to be because I do not have my phone attached to my hip. No way is it because I am a couch potato who does nothing but read as I lounge. Hey the weekend calls for this indulgence y’all.
I make one lap of the store perimeter. Then I go for lap two. I pass the sports section and think “that’s what Billy and I need, a basketball hoop. We can play H.O.R.S.E or D.O.G” You know D.O.G. just another version of H.O.R.S.E for when you don’t have time for 5 letters.
I keep on trucking past the toys and I see bicycles. That’s what we need. No we don’t, we’d break a leg or worse. Now I am really moving, picking up speed. 55″ TV’s, Why not? Well, because we are going out on a limb to potentially purchase land. And hey, why didn’t I see this stuff on my first round?
Still going, I blew right past the beer and wine. Ain’t nobody got time for that. Well maybe make time for that? Next, I detour up the aisle and I grab the foil. I stop briefly and check my steps. Looking good Mr. Kotter. Then I think, this sucks. Boring! Am I right? I have my phone but no ear buds and I didn’t want to disturb others. But this needs something …
Well alrighty then. To shake things up, I decide for maximum effect that walking up and down every aisle is better than perimeters laps. More steps! And more variety! But alas, as typical with me. I should have quit while I was ahead. Does anyone have any idea what treasures are contained within those aisles. Scrap booking, sewing, home decor (maybe Tchotchke but still counts). I gotta stop before I go overboard. I pay for my foil and escape to the safety of my car.
The featured photo shows just how weird I am. Why am I wearing black Sketchers with that non-matching dress? Why did I even take a picture of the floor as I was walking along? Why do I use my blood donor bag instead of a purse? You can see it there in the corner. And what is my aversion to purses anyway? And good lord woman, shave your legs.
This version of J-Dub’s sham-a-lama ramble was brought to you by her worried and frenetic mind and Layla – Eric Clapton (acoustic)
As always, more to come.