Five Random Things That Really Excite Me

Sooooo … ¬†how many of you clicked this post just because of the title? ¬†I really want to know. ¬†Well that and this is another shameless plug for interaction. ¬†C’mon, talk to me people! ¬†Go ahead, make my day! ¬†Clint would approve.

This is a wild ride so strap yourself in. ¬†All links are working. ¬†Click them for full effect. ¬†I hear ya, now you’re saying oh fiddle dee dee. ¬†She is so NOT funny. ¬†Good thing she’s an Advisor instead of a comedienne.

But and it’s a BIG butt, I purposely craft my titles to drawn you in. I usually write my stream of consciousness ramble first then I attempt to title cleverly … as my hook.

Five Random Things That Really Excite Me:

  1. I finally downloaded the Calm app that I’ve heard so much about. ¬†In actuality I guess this app should soothe me not excite me. ¬†I’ve briefly looked and it appears to be pay for service. ¬†Ugh, I’m getting excited ¬†again. ¬†Bullshit to pay for calm. ¬†Calm should be fucking free! But alas I guess someone’s got to make a living somehow. ¬†Might just delete the mofo app and stay perpetually irritated. ¬†ūüėā
  2. They … as in those Hollywood types have adapted The Glass Castle by Jeanette Walls. ¬†Movie due out 8/11. ¬†Mini rabbit hole. ¬†Two dear women from work retire that day. ¬†8/11 is my new favorite day. ¬†Happy for them. ¬†Wishing I was the one retiring. ¬†¬†Anyhoo, Hip hip hurrah!!! ¬† I read the book almost a year ago and loved it …¬†here is my quick review¬†. ¬†A story of perseverance amidst mental illness of both parents. I wonder how they’ll treat the family land portion of her story. ¬†Woody Harrelson is perfectly cast as the patriarch. He might not even have to stretch to play the role. Did I tell ya? I’ve got a thing for bad boys. They too¬†excite me ūüėā
  3. We’re putting an offer on a home away from home. ¬†Leap of faith. ¬†What’s the worse that can happen? ¬†Don’t answer that. ¬†This my friends is a good thing. ¬†Despite me giving up all that I hold dear for the one person who matters most. ¬†I’d live under a bridge with my Billy Bob. ¬†I already have crappy internet and wild animals anyway. ¬†Why not next level that sH!t? ¬† I’ll be fine as long as I have my books. ¬†Wonder if drones will deliver 25 miles outside of Rockspringsūüėā. Now that’s exciting right??? ¬†J-Dub and B squared become mountain folk. ¬†I become all Katniss in Hunger Games and harvest what I eat with bow and arrow. ¬†Oh who the hell I am kidding? ¬†I will keep an apartment in the city. ¬†Which city is TBD!! ¬†EXCITING!!!!
  4. I got my Ancestry DNA kit results yesterday.  No big surprise.  This is moi:
    Europe Р93%, West Asia Р4%,  Africa 2% and less than 1% Pacific Islander
    61% Europe West (Belgium, France, Germany, Netherlands, Switzerland, Luxembourg, Liechtenstein, Slovania, Czech Republic, Italy)
    17% – Ireland
    6% – Scandinavia (Sweden, Norway, Denmark)
    5% – Greece
    2% – Iberian Peninsula (Spain, Portugal)
    < 1% Finland/Northwest Russia
     < 1%Europe East
    ¬†What to make of these results is a post for another day. ¬†I did find 443 DNA 4th cousins or closer. ¬†Exciting! Right ?!?!? ¬†I might just send them a message and ask if I am the skeleton in their hypothetical closets. Boo! or Surprise! or Honey I’m home ūüôā
  5. And last but certainly not least … the most exciting piece … CBT was the bomb diggity today. ¬†I’ve got a plan. ¬†And I’m working the plan. ¬†I am giving up control that I never really had in the first place. ¬†God will take care of me. ¬†I hear He has a soft spot for fools. ¬†I feel the weight of the world lifting up, up and away. ¬†And if I had magical powers, peace would be the experience happening to all of you.

As always, more to come.

Changing The World ~ Simple As Making Your Bed

Some months back … November-ish, I started making my bed every morning. Danny over at Dream Big Dream Often was my inspiration to make my bed. ¬†I cannot remember if I read a post or listened to a pod cast. ¬†Anyway, he made the suggestion and I needed that something. ¬†Right place, right time kind of deal.

I should say I re-started making my bed because as a kid, bed making was a daily chore. ¬†When I created my own separate life, making the bed was one of the first chores I quit. ¬†I’m a rebel, what can I say! lol ūüôā

Billy Bob said I couldn’t stick with bed making long-term but so far I’m proving him wrong. ¬†Now you’re asking,

What does housekeeping and J-Dub’s morning routine have to do with changing the world?

Not much, simple really.  I love feeling accomplished.  Even if just for that one small thing. And not in a compulsive way like Randall from This is Us but in a boy does it feel good way.  I enjoy seeing a task completed since a multitude of other things spin out of control in my world. And just maybe those other things are not too far gone.  Perspective is gained.  Good moods are contagious.  One step in a positive direction can lead to another and another.

Small world that it is, we have book club at work.  Yay! and the July selection was MAKE YOUR BED By Admiral William H. McRaven.

In it, Admiral McRaven offers ONE: Start Your Day with a Task Completed.  If you want to change the world, start off by making your bed!  Twice confirmed!  Three times if you count me in.

Now I know naysayers will say nay, nay, nay

And all I can say is don’t knock it until you try it

And if you try it, let me know how it goes. ¬†C’mon you know you want to say something. Yes I admit, I am making another shameless plug for interaction in the cosmos.

As always, more to come.


I Wasn’t Ready

See my preliminary review of The Bright Hour by Nina Riggs.

I have finished the book and felt compelled to share some parting thoughts.

I absolutely loved the book but emotionally I wasn’t prepared for how I’d be affected. ¬†I had two comments on my original review suggesting I was brave to read and/or they could not read. ¬†I felt like I had been through the wringer and I could withstand anything even a memoir on living while dying. ¬†Especially since I was not the one who personally experienced those days in real life.

At first I was enraptured and sure I could power through.  There were times I even chuckled.  As the chapters went on, some quick snippets into a day in the life and other chapters a bit longer, I realized I might be in over my head.  As the illness progressed, I felt more sadness.  I knew the inevitable and I wanted despartely to be surprised by a miracle.  Alas, that was not to be and now, having reached the end, I am exhausted and emotionally charged.

I almost said emotionally damaged but I stopped short.  You see, no damage was done. Life lessons are abound in the extraordinary/mundane.  Lately my life is surronded in oxymorons.  Hot/cold. Left/right. Strong/Weak. Good/Bad. Happy/Sad.

I am left with my emotions that are heightened in a way I never thought possible. ¬†There is so much beauty in pain and sadness. ¬†Not in a mean-spirited sort of way. ¬†Nothing beautiful about watching someone suffer. ¬†Beautiful is the resilience humans display in dealing with … well in dealing with LIFE. ¬† Despite ending in death, this memoir was about living LIFE well.

The plot is self-explanatory so I have nothing more to offer.  I have decided to post another line or two from Nina Riggs as motivation for your mornings.  I still recommend that you read this book.  Far more is gained than lost.  I rate it 5 of 5 stars.

Sunday Motivation 

Regarding birthday wishes:

 … the same wish I make every year: that everyone I love will find what makes them happy and that the universe will keep them safe. ~ Nina Riggs

Tea Party Time – Let’s Groove

Join the fun y’all. Open up the champagne. Pop!

a cooking pot and twisted tales

It’s blog party fun time again. The year is fast winding down and before you know it, we will be basting Turkeys and singing Auld Lang Syne.

How’s your end holding up? Life has been a bit hectic and upsetting in many ways, but we’ve got to keep pushing and looking at the positive side of things.

If this is your first-time visit, the house rules of play are outlined below, if you are an old-timer, you know the drill.

Grab¬†some refreshments which are nicely arranged down the page. Feel free to indulge, these are zero caloriesūüėČ

Just some little party rules:

  1. Mix and mingle with others. Don’t be a wallflower. Go say hello to someone.
  2.  Please leave your blog link or post link in the comment box below along with introductions.
  3. It’s one link per comment, but come back as often as you’d like, that way it’s easier…

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#SoCS for July 29th

Each week I wait in anticipation of Stream of Consciousness Saturday #SoCS.  Exercise for my mind.  All work week I think,think, think.  My job keeps me knee-deep in the rules and regulations.  For this reason, when I get a chance to roll with the flow, I relish the opportunity.  

Today’s prompt is limb

Silent B

Or Big B, my hubby and best friend

Saccharin makes me queasy

Wonder why we do not pronounce Climb with a short i and silent B

Just like we do with limb

Too many rules

But not today

I am out on a limb

What else?

Loss of life and limb

Ugh, work thoughts creep back in.  

Insurance. Distracted driving. Just say no! 

Which is sage advice

Come on flow, I know you are in their somewhere

Contracts and compensation

Can anyone be completely compensated for loss of life or limb?  

Hell no

Some things are priceless

Who decides the value of:

An arm or a leg?

A finger or a toe?

A wrist or an ankle?

There is a freaking chart somewhere!

B has been through the worker’s comp rodeo 3 times


Alas, this is going nowhere

That is all

Better luck next week

This lame attempt at free-form expression was brought to you by I tried but I got nuthin.

Here are the rules and pingback.

If I may be so brazen as to recommend, click the link and see the awesomeness of blogladia where creative types share their #SoCS fodder. ¬†It’s worth your time. ¬†I promise.

As always, more to come.

The Dream Police

They live inside in my head ~ Cheap Trick

A few weeks ago a fellow blogger asked his readership 

Do you remember your dreams?

I wish I could remember who he was in order to pingback and credit but I only commented instead of Like so I cannot find his original post.  If he happens to see this then shout out as I would love to recognize you.  

My answer was “Ever since I started airing my subconscious through blogging, I quit dreaming.  If I do dream, I don’t remember”

Then yesterday Lulu got the all clear.  Her doctor said she’d see her in a year for routine annual checkup.  Of course if something feels off she shouldn’t wait and should to go back right away.  But basically she’s ok to proceed with life as she knew it. 

I remember life as she knew it.  I don’t want to go back there.  I want her to move forward.  All of a sudden I’m panicking.  She’ll be leaving us again. 

I really had no idea how much I was repressing my worry.  Sure, I let a few things slip out.  Don’t laugh.   Ok laugh.  I let everything hang out.  This is me cycling:

Blab, blab, blab – feel better!

Rinse and repeat ūüė≥

And the undercurrent of worry was always there.   After her appointment I felt sweet relief.  I also could not come up with a coherent thought to blog our good news. 

Last night, I put all my devices away. 

I even took my glasses off so I could not see to read.  

I was forced to just sit in my feelings until I went to bed. 

Billy Bob’s alarm goes off at 5 AM each workday and my alarm does not go off until 6.  Alarm is on my side of the bed.  Uh duh! I control time and space ūüöÄ.  ūüėā

This morning when I turned off the 5 AM alarm, I fell back into a very deep sleep and I had a dream.  A weird dream.  

Red altar server robes and coffins.  A woman refusing to participate saying incense and holy water were sacrilege.  Telling me I’m going to hell.  I’ve served Mass for a few funerals in my day and incense and holy water are part of the service. 

In the dream, I’m trying to explain the ritual when the sprinkling of holy water becomes a deluge.  Water is rushing and we’re being soaked as the priest now throws water on us.  I feel like I’m drowning. 

Then I hear an escalating beep! beep! beep!

My alarm blasts! As I come to, my pillow is wet!   … from my own drooling.  I haven’t slept that good since before we had kids. 

I’m hoping to rinse and repeat.  I want to sleep like that every night for the rest of my life.  Sans any weird dreams.  

As always more to come.