No More Secrets

I feel a novella coming on … well maybe not.  I hear tell 500 words or less is the average attention span.  I will try and keep to that.  Let the games begin!

Good morning world; what a glorious day!  Saturday June 23rd, 2017 in the year of our Lord.

I’ve been thinking about stuff … lots of stuff.

Everyone knows that mi familia has been through some stuff.

To compensate, I remind myself with daily affirmations that our stuff is not bad … in the big scheme of things.  Our stuff is minor in comparison what others are going through as I rattle off atrocities hitting the headline news.  But … and it’s a BIG but … we can’t keep diminishing our feelings and sweeping things under the rug.

Stuff should NOT be bottled up and locked tightly away.

Heaven forbid we share our stuff because no one … and I mean no one REALLY (as opposed to falsely) wants to know about THAT!

Well a Pandora’s Box of stuff is about to fling open!

In fact, I could even make a new category!!!  Oh how I love new categories.  Bringing me such Glee or if my creativity doesn’t spark, these love notes will definitely be categorized as J-Dub’s Confessions.

More matter the category, the following is an example of the stigma one must overcome when sharing our stuff.

Friend across the aisle “I think it is terrible what was written about that poor woman, don’t you?”

Me: “My brother was an alcoholic; I wished I had said something back in the day.  Too late for him, but maybe the daughter’s words will save someone else.”

Friend across the aisle “well yes, talk about it but … you know, keep the discussion in the family”

Me: “Secrets and shame are harmful.  To me, WHY THE HELL NOT?!!!! ”

Far too many people would rather be ostriches burying their heads in the sand.  Who knows why? Maybe they think “if I don’t talk about it, it will go away” or … motives are countless.  The short of it is this, I have lost friends who could not deal with me talking about my stuff.  I am older now and I couldn’t care less what anyone thinks of me but for the next generation or anyone not in the same head space being denied an outlet is devastating. Speak people … SHOUT from the rooftops if you have to.  We are here; we will listen.  You are not alone.

As always, more to come.

21 thoughts on “No More Secrets

  1. I was brought up that I was never to tell anyone about anything that went on in our home … the dysfunction, the drinking, the mental illness, the anger. All it did was mess us up even more. I know now that if I only would have had someone to talk to, to share my secrets and fears with, I could have gotten the help I so desperately needed back then and, perhaps, saved myself from so much pain in my twenties and thirties.

    I truly believe that if we don’t talk about it, then others won’t realize that they are not alone and vice versa. You never know when one of your posts may resonate with someone and ease their pain. So much strength is to be gained by sharing.

    Keep on shouting, keep on writing and keep on being you!

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Hit send too soon. I’ll never forget my Aunt telling my mom to tell us kids before we heard it (whatever it was) from someone else. Still mom clung to her secrets. And now me, I have no secrets (ok maybe one). Certainly not the closet full of skeletons I remember from my childhood.

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  2. Yes, speak out! It can be really harmful to keep all your issues bottled inside. It’s not shameful to have problems, everyone does! That said, it’s hard for me to come right out and talk about difficult issues. But feels so good to finally let it out, to say it out loud to someone, usually my husband.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Agree, which ever outlet works for you. I am grateful for my avenues to vent. Surprisingly, I do keep a few things close to the vest. Not much but a few and usually not because of fear of what someone might think, more of a this is not my story to tell.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I think everyone is different. Depending on how you’ve grown up, the level of gossip and judgement in your community, sometimes telling people your shit is dangerous. Often people don’t understand what they don’t feel.

    Personally I refrain from talking about my issues until I’m at that point where it’s that or I smash crockery. Talking about it just doesn’t make me feel any better.

    That being said, if talking about it helps people, then why not? That’s their choice to make and everyone else should shut up, lol!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Exactly! Billy Bob is like you. Talking it out makes things worse for him. His actions need to be physical. If he’s upset you can be sure to find him mowing the grass or working in the garden. And I would never force my way on someone else. I embrace the diversity. There is no “right” way really. Me? I am a blabber. I am compelled to speak and now with this forum, I am off the chain. Lol!

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  4. Keeping things in only causes it to fester and then explode for all the “wrong” reason, and the festering boil is still there waiting to explode for another “wrong” reason. Get it out, rid yourself of the toxic waste before it poisons the very core of you 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I have been on the giving end and the receiving end of explosion for the “wrong” reason. Not at all helpful. I get to each his own. For me, I frequently feel the need to testify.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. True…. Why would you hide something? People who have committed sins hide their problems. I’m free and can shout out and tell everything about myself (my opinion)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks for commenting. I don’t get it myself. Pressures to be perfect maybe? I get privacy and respect the right not to share. What I take exception to is being judged for my shortcomings. The same across the aisle friend said we have no need to “air our dirty laundry”. To me, why the hell not??!?

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I depends on us what we want to do. And I think we should follow our heart and find the right person to help us do that 🙌

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Or like me, I let go into bloglandia where judgment has so far escaped me. FB is where the judgment comes … by people who know me in the physical world. Sort of sad really.

        Liked by 1 person

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